


Today I Learned

by KallistoGray



Category: The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Also moths and maggots, But not the cool kind, Ice Cream, Jaime throwing himself on a windshield, Jealous Kit, Kit doesn’t believe in love, Kit growing a beard out of spite, Kit ruining romantic moments, Lame pickup lines, M/M, Mark embarrasses himself, Mark writing poetry, More ice cream, Or does he, So much ice cream, The pillow fort of sadness, Ty goes on a date, Ty on a motorcycle, beetles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 23:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 58,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16105877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KallistoGray/pseuds/KallistoGray
Summary: “What’s that?” Kit eyed the notebook suspiciously.“It’s a diary,” Ty replied. “For your Shadowhunter studies. You can put a new entry each day, describing what you learned.”And so, Kit began.Entry 1: TIL how to stand in a fighting stance.Entry 15: TIL that Ty’s favorite musical instrument is the piano.Entry 59: TIL how to draw an Iratze.Entry 74: TIL that Ty smells like the ocean.Entry 95: TIL how to throw a dagger.Entry 217: TIL that Ty’s favorite tea is Lady Gray.Yes, many of his entries are about Ty. So what? It’s normal. Ty is his best friend.While Kit loves to drink, party, and have one-night stands, Ty prefers reading quietly or go on long rides alone on his motorcycle. While they are seemingly opposites, they have the best friendship and everything is great. That is, until Ty meets Sam Firedork - sorry, Sam Firedart- and everything goes to hell.Meanwhile, three years into their marriage, Julian and Emma are still acting like newlyweds; Perfect Diego came back to LA and no one knows why; Mark embarrasses himself every time Kieran comes over; and Jaime came back to be with his brother and it has nothing to do with Dru of course.





	1. TIL That Ty is the greatest friend ever. JK, I already knew that.

**Author's Note:**

> Falling in love all over again...

“I’m only human, I don’t know how many sunrises I have left,” Kit said, looking down. “So, I try to make each one count. And there is nothing I could think of that would be better than spending the next one with you.”

He looked up again at the dark-haired girl facing him and gave a shy smile.

“Sorry honey, you have too much dick and not enough boobs for my taste.” She winked at him.

“Fair enough,” Kit replied and walked away.

Beneath the dry-ice smoke swirled an array of glacier blues, acid greens and hot red lights. The music played over the dance floor as if had fused with the people, so loud that it made Kit’s skin tingle. The bass thumped in time with his heartbeat, filling him from head to toe.

He stumbled forward, his mind a nice painless haze thanks to copious amounts of alcohol. From the corner of his eye he spotted a cute blond in a tight red dress, sitting alone and sipping a martini from a tall glass.

“Hey, I’m Kit,” he smiled at her. “When I drink too much I tend to be very honest, so I have to say this: I had seven shots of vodka and you are simply gorgeous.”

The girl giggled, looking pleased with herself. “I’m Ania,” she said.

“You know Ania, I’m only human, I don’t know how many sunrises I have left.” Kit looked down. “So, I try to make each one count. And there is nothing I could think of that would be better than spending the next one with you.”

He looked up again at the blond girl and gave a shy smile.

She giggled again. “Do you want to go somewhere more quiet?” she asked with a smirk.

“Sure.” He handed her his arm. She took it and steered him into a side room. It was a small, circular room, lit by a low chandelier that dangled from the high ceiling. A curved red sofa took most of the room. Ania turned to face Kit, and he gently pulled her by her hand, so their faces were only inches away.

He passed his fingers through her hair and bit his lower lip. “I’m not usually _this_ honest, even after drinking whiskey, but you are so hot it almost hurts to look at you.”

“You’re not too bad yourself,” Ania said as she pulled him into a kiss, opening her mouth under his and finding his tongue. Kit passed his hand along her shoulders and down along her back, until he reached her butt and squeezed lightly.

Someone put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him abruptly away. Kit barely had time to register a massive and hairy man – a werewolf – before he punched him in the face.

“That’s for kissing my girlfriend,” he said, then punched him again. “And that’s for being a fuckface.”

Kit spit out blood. “Hey, don’t blame me. Clearly she wanted an upgrade.”

The werewolf released another punch. Kit dodged it and sent a well-aimed uppercut which destabilized his opponent.

He turned to Ania. “Our love affair was short, but magical,” he said before running out of the room, the werewolf after him.

“You’re as slow as you are ugly.” Kit turned around and taunted him with a smug expression. He was fast; there was no way the werewolf could catch up with him.

Unless, of course, he had backup… which, it turned out, was the case.

Three werewolves cornered Kit and pinned him to the floor.

“All yours,” one of them said as the werewolf that has been chasing Kit, Ania’s boyfriend apparently, reached them. “Let’s break some Shadowhunter bones.”

“Okay, I like your initiative,” Kit said. “But here’s a counteroffer: let’s not.”

One of the werewolves holding him down kicked his ribs. “Shut up.”

“No need to waste time on that,” Ania’s boyfriend said. “Just kick him out and let’s play beer pong.”

The werewolves picked him up as if he were lighter than a feather and threw him outside in a garbage can on the back alley.

Damn, Kit couldn’t believe he found himself inside a trash can yet again. He cursed as he lifted himself out, shaking his foot that got stuck inside a coffee cup. The worst part is, he was missing a game of beer pong.

With a sigh, he took out his phone and texted Ty. “Can you come get me?” to which he added his GPS location.

Bless Ty, truly the best friend anyone could wish for. Not one minute has passed before he replied “omw”.

Kit shook someone else’s band-aid off him ( _damn, that’s nasty_ ) and sat down on the sidewalk, since standing was too much of an effort with so much alcohol in his veins. He contemplated the night sky, the thousands of shiny specks that always calmed him. Kit could see all of them thanks to the Vision rune that Ty had put on his hand almost four years earlier. Unconsciously, he rubbed the thumb of his left hand on the Vision rune. So much had passed during these four years.

Emma and Christina spent a year in Mexico, resulting in the weakening of the parabati bond between Emma and Julian. When Emma got back, a year ago, she and Julian wed immediately. It came as a surprise to everyone expect Christina it seemed, as no one but her knew that they were in love. Ever since then, they were constantly all over each other. Kit told them they were sickening; in reality, he found them adorable. But he would never admit it to their faces of course.

Christina chose to come back to the institute with Emma, and so did Perfect Diego for reasons unknown to anyone but him. Kit shrugged it off as Perfect Diego simply being the weirdo that he was. After Diego announced that he would join the LA institute, his brother, Jaime, came as well. He had said he wanted to be close to his brother, yet Kit remarked that he seemed to spend much more time with Dru. Who could blame him, really? Dru was much better company that Diego in his opinion.

The addition of Jaime proved to be a nice one, and together with Dru and Ty the became very close, although Ty chose to avoid most of their escapades. While Dru and Jaime - and sometimes, even the rest - seemed to share, at least to some extent, Kit’s passion for fun and parties, Ty preferred silence and the company of books.

The war between the Unseelie and Seelie courts claimed the lives of most of Kieran’s brothers. Finally, Adaon took the crown and restored the peace, and Kieran left the wild hunt to serve as one of his advisors. He still visited the LA institute on business-related affairs or even some friendly visits. Every time he would come around, Mark would try to court him, but Kieran seemed to be indifferent to his advances; or maybe he was still mad at him for choosing the Shadowhunter life over him. Kit was unsure.

As for Kit, he discovered the pleasures of parties, alcohol, hot girls - and on occasion, hot guys. Life is too short to treat it seriously. Irazes work too well to spend them on battle wounds alone. There are so many options out there – it would be crazy to settle down with one person. Honestly, people who choose monogamy are suckers. Luckily, Kit was charismatic, good-looking, and well-aware of that. He had spent the last two years partying with downworlders – especially faeries - and going through a series of one-night stands and non-serious relationships. He enjoyed life, and he wasn’t missing out on anything. The rest were.

Distantly, Kit heard the roar of a motorcycle.

_Ty_.

The tall black-haired Shadowhunter rode a black MV Agusta F4CC. He stopped the motorcycle in a swift and skillful movement right at Kit’s feet, then hopped off.

“What did you do this time?” he asked as he removed his helmet, letting dark strands fall on his eyes.

Kit looked up at him. Ty wore a leather jacket, ripped jeans, and black leather boots. When he first met him, Kit’s only thought was how beautiful Ty was. In the last four years, Kit’s opinion of him hasn’t changed on that matter; only now he also knew how bright and kind-hearted his best friend truly was.

“I kissed a werewolf’s girlfriend and got thrown out,” Kit replied without a hint of shame in his tone.

“So, the usual.” Ty shook his head. “Let me guess; you used your sunrise line?”

“You know it.” Kit lifted his hand up for a high-five.

“I’m not high-fiving your _decadence_ ,” Ty replied and handed Kit the spare helmet. “Also, I can’t believe that people actually fall for it.”

Kit put the helmet on. “Combine the poeticness of sunrises with my personal charm and you get the definition of irresistibility.”

Ty rolled his eyes and put his own helmet on. “Do you need help?”

“I got it,” Kit replied then stumbled forward. Ty caught his arm to steady him, and gently helped him get on the motorcycle. He pulled him by the wrists until Kit sat snug against his back, their thighs against each other, before stepping on the gas.

The motorcycle surged forward, and Kit wound his arms tighter around Ty’s waist. He loved riding with him; the world passed them in a blur as Ty navigated the streets to the institute. Kit always felt safe with Ty, whether they were fighting together, riding together, or simply lying next to each other on Ty’s bed, talking about nothing and about everything. Ty was the only person with whom Kit could be himself. He told him his most embarrassing secrets, his aspirations, his dreams, his fears. Ty never judged him. For reasons Kit could not understand, Ty seemed to think he was a good person. Someone worthy.

Sometimes, Kit even believed him.

They reached the institute and Ty hit the brakes. He got off the motorcycle and, as usual, helped Kit get off as well. Still drunk, Kit stumbled forward and was caught by Ty in an odd half-hug.

“Are you okay?” Ty asked him, slightly concerned.

“Fine. Too much vodka, not enough action.”

Without a word, Ty took his arm and lead him inside. Kit managed to walk the dark corridors with a reasonable success but stopped in front on the staircase leading to the sleeping quarters.

“Nope,” he said. “Can’t do that. I’m sleeping here tonight.” He then collapsed on the floor.

With a sigh, Ty picked him up, one arm behind his knees, the other supporting his back. He carried him up the stairs and into his room, then carefully placed him back on his feet.

“Brush your teeth and get to bed,” he commanded.

Kit walked into the bathroom, only tripping twice, and put some toothpaste on his toothbrush.

“You arrived fast,” he commented mid-brushing.

“I was already out,” Ty replied.

_He was riding alone again._

While Ty spent most of his time training or reading, he did leave the house sometimes. He loved going out with Kit on long walks on the beach during which he would catch small lizards or crabs, study them carefully, then release them again. But he also loved going for long drives alone on his motorcycle. Kit knew that these had a calming effect on his best friend, yet he found Ty’s solitary rides disconcerting. He was beginning to think that Ty was lonely.

Kit finished brushing his teeth and changed his jeans to comfortable sweatpants.

“You should date someone,” he said.

Ty seemed taken aback by Kit’s suggestion. “What?”

“You should date someone,” Kit repeated, assured.

“I think you date enough for all of us combined,” Ty remarked.

“I’m being serious. Don’t you want to get out there?”

“It’s not that simple,” Ty averted his gaze.

“Why the hell not?”

“Because I’m not normal.”

“No, you’re not,” Kit agreed. “You’re better than normal. You’re great, and you deserve to be with someone who makes you see that. Even if it takes some work.”

“I haven’t found someone that’s worth this work,” Ty said dismissively. “Now, can you get into your bed alone or do you need me to tuck you in like a little baby?”

“I know you mean that as an insult, but it does sound appealing.” Kit smiled. “Can you please tuck me in like a little baby?”

“No, you seem fine to me,” Ty stated. “I’ll see you in the morning. And I don’t care if you’re hungover - I’m waking you up at seven AM sharp.”

“Oh, the love you have for me,” Kit sing-sang. “Good night bestie.”

“Good night, Kit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad to finally share this new story with you guys :)
> 
> I asked you on the last chapter THFBB who you'd like to see Kieran paired up with, and most of you said Mark, so here we are :)
> 
> The next chapter is titled “TIL that the new forensic analyst is boring AF”. Get ready to watch Emma and Julian all over each other, to cringe internally as Mark embarrasses himself, and to meet Sam Firedork. Aghh no, dammit! Sam Fire _dart_.


	2. TIL That the new forensic analyst is boring AF

Unsurprisingly, Kit woke up in someone else’s bed.

Glancing at the sleeping figure next to him, he was glad to realize it was Ty’s bed. His best friend was curled up against him, his raven black hair spread on the pillow and his eyelashes fluttering lightly over his cheeks. Effortlessly beautiful. Kit was sure that he himself looked like an ogre while asleep, all drooling and snoring.

He wasn’t surprised to wake up next to Ty. Sometimes when he drank too much, he would come to Ty’s room and simply collapse on his bed. Ty would never send him away. He would wash his face and make him drink some water (“so you won’t be so hungover tomorrow”), then let Kit lie down next to him, cover him up with a blanket, and wish him good night. Kit was so lucky to have such an amazing friend.

Beside him, Ty rolled over, tossing his arm over Kit’s chest and resting his head on his shoulder. He took more than a fair share of the blanket, as he always did when he was asleep. During the first few times that Kit had stumbled to his bed, he tried to fight Ty’s tendency of blanket-tugging, but finally he gave up. He would gladly freeze to death, as long as he got to stay with his best friend.

Ty’s dreaded alarm clock went off. The black-haired Nephilim jumped off the bed, quick and energetic as he usually was in the mornings – which Kit found very disconcerting, by the way – and pulled back the drapes.

“Noooo,” Kit mumbled a weak protest as the sunlight assaulted him.

Ty started to laugh.

“What?” Kit pouted.

“You sound like a warthog.”

“Not the most flattering thing you have ever said to me, yet not the worst.”

Ty left the drapes pulled back, torturing Kit with the sunlight, and got into the bathroom. Kit tried to roll into a sitting position, only to slide headfirst off the bed, his feet still tangled in the sheets.

“What – oh.” Ty opened the bathroom door, toothbrush in hand, to find Kit on the floor. He shook his head and began brushing his teeth. “How did you get home last night?” he asked mid-brushing.

“I’m not even sure _where_ I was last night.”

He saw Ty – upside down, as he still hadn’t gathered the motivation to get up – get back into the bathroom. He heard the water in the sink running and Ty putting his toothbrush back in place, before he returned into the room.

“I’m not surprised. You were completely wasted last night.”

“Not _that_ wasted, right?”

Ty gave him an odd look.

“What?” Kit felt his face getting red. “Did I do something weird?”

“You mean weirder than usual,” Ty replied. Only later Kit would realize that he didn’t answer his question.

With a grunt, Kit forced himself up. His chest was bare, but at least he was wearing sweatpants. He stretched, cursing the rays of sunlight and the entire world they lit, when he saw Ty staring at his stomach. When he realized that Kit had noticed, Ty quickly averted his gaze.

“What –“ Kit looked down to find a smear of bright pink lipstick leading from his navel downwards.

“I don’t want to know,” Ty quickly said. “I’m going to shower.”

*******

“Good morning guys!” Emma said merrily when she entered the kitchen. “It’s such a beautiful day outside. Isn’t it a beautiful day outside?”

“No,” Kit grunted.

“Babe,” Julian said as he walked in after her. “How are you always so gorgeous in the morning?”

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

“Please. Let’s not,” Jaime grumbled.

“Yeah, it’s bad enough that you two are constantly all over each other, but some of us have a hangover,” Kit mumbled.

Dru and Jaime came to find Kit in Ty’s room, and kindly reminded him that the three of them went to an underground fairy rave last night.

“Oh, right.” Kit’s braincells had suddenly unblocked. The fairy rave was incredible. The psychedelic atmosphere. the electronic music and the fae alcoholic drinks were amazing. The hangover that followed – not so much.

“I think I’m going to throw up,” Dru grunted. “And only partially because of my hangover.”

Julian and Emma ignored them in favor of more kissing.

“You know, I thought that our plan was solid,” Kit said. “Get down here and wait for a functioning member of the institute to make us coffee. Instead we got these two.”

“Will they ever stop making out?” Jaime wondered out loud. “Where’s Ty? I swear to god, he’s my favorite. So kind, so calm, so good at making coffee and not copulating on the fucking kitchen table where we all eat ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME EMMA AND JULIAN?!”

They weren’t.

“I think I just died a little,” Dru commented.

“There’s no way around this,” Kit said sadly. “One of us will have to make the coffee.”

“By the Angel,” Dru looked scandalized. “Are you even listening to yourself?”

Kit put his head in his hands and let out a groan when Christina entered the kitchen, looking fresh and well-rested.

“They’re at it again, huh?” she said casually as she walked past Julian and Emma.

“Tina, you perfect specimen,” Dru said. “Could you make us some coffee?”

Christina, henceforth known as the epitome of perfection, made them all cups of steaming coffee before sitting down at the kitchen table, shooing away Emma and Julian.

“Let me guess,” she said. “By the intensity of your hangover, you guys were at a faery party last night.”

“Did you see Kieran?” Mark had just entered the kitchen followed by Perfect Diego.

“Dude, for the last time,” Kit said, exasperated. “There are a more than twenty million fairies in the unseelie court alone. Do you realize that the chance of meeting him at a party is, like, infinitesimal?”

Mark shrugged and got himself a cup of coffee.

“Your toasts,” Diego said as he put a plate of toasts cut into triangles in front of Christina, as he did every morning.

Christina thanked him and turned to Mark. “Besides, why would he go to a party if he’s supposed to have a meeting with Emma and Julian today?”

“He’s coming today?” Mark cried out. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I just did,” Christina pointed out before taking a bite of toast.

Mark began doing his breathing exercises to help calm his minor nervous breakdown, and Jaime turned to Kit.

“That girl your brought was super intense man,” he said. “What was her name again?”

“Ilaria,” Kit answered, then stole one triangular toast from Christina’s plate.

“Yeah, right,” Jaime said. “She’s really into you. Are you going out with her again tonight?”

“No,” Kit said, scandalized. “Today is Saturday!”

“So…?”

“Tomorrow’s Sunday!” he said with a mouth full of delicious Diego-made toast.

“Oh, you finally learned the days of the week?” Jaime said with false affection. “I’m so proud of you sweetie.”

“On Sundays Ty and I go to the beach,” Kit ignored his snarky comment. “I never schedule anything on Saturdays. Sundays at the beach with Ty are sacred.”

They were. Every Sunday morning, without fail, Kit and Ty would go for a walk on the beach together. Sometimes they would talk about small things, sometimes about their deepest secrets, and sometimes they would just stay silent, completely at ease with each other.

The doorbell rang.

“That must be Kieran,” Christina said. “I’ll go get it. Are you listening to me, Emma and Julian? Your meeting is here!”

Clearly, both couldn’t hear her over the sound of them making out.

“For god’s sake,” Christina sighed. “Perfect Diego, take Julian. I’ll take Emma. On the count of three. One, two – “

It was a routine that Christina and Perfect Diego had developed; every time Julian and Emma became too absorbed in each other, Diego would pull Julian away and Christina would handle Emma. It took a few trials, but eventually they had perfected the art of separation of the most sticky couple the world had ever seen.

“You have a meeting with Kieran,” Christina said as she restrained Emma from behind while Perfect Diego fought a wriggling Julian.

“Oh, that’s right.” Emma regained her sanity. “Babe, let’s go to our office, we need to prepare the paperwork.”

“And no office sex!” Christina yelled after them as they left the room.

“You’re really good,” Perfect Diego told her.

“At what, controlling those eternal newly-weds?” Christina squinted her eyes.

“Um… yes,” he mumbled.

The doorbell rang again, and Christina hurried to let Kieran in.

“So, what’s your strategy today?” Kit asked Mark. “Because the whole acting nonchalant and disinterested you tried last time backfired rather spectacularly.”

“The exact opposite,” Mark replied evenly. “I’ll laugh at everything he says, compliment him, and be engrossed in him whenever he speaks. It’s called _flirting_.”

Kit grimaced. “How about instead of flirting, you simply act normal? You know, like a _sane_ animal?”

“Human flirting does have a parallel in the animal world,” Ty commented casually as he entered the kitchen and began pouring himself coffee. “It is analogous to the behavioral displays animals use to signal not only their availability but their suitability. The gestures and movements used in flirting provide clues to biological and psychological health.”

“See, I feel like _psychological health_ is the key term here,” Kit said distractedly. He couldn’t help but smile like an idiot at seeing his best friend. “I should have made your coffee,” he told him. He usually did; it was part of their morning routine.

“How are you feeling?” Ty asked as he sat down next to him.

“I’ll be better once this hangover wears off,” Kit replied. “Thank you, by the way. For taking care of me last night.”

Ty gave him a small smile. “Sure.”

“I mean it,” Kit muttered. “You always take care of me, and I… I really appreciate that.”

“I know.”

The footsteps of Christina and Kieran echoed in the hallway, and Mark stopped his breathing exercises and leaned casually on the counter.

“Good morning.” Kieran had entered the room, wearing breeches and a long velvet waistcoat, lavishly embroidered. His hair was loose, framing his face like black coal.

“Your waistcoat is very dashing,” Mark said quickly. “What’s it made of? Boyfriend material?”

“I am not familiar with this fabric,” Kieran replied coldly.

Mark laughed oddly. “You’re hilarious,” he said.

Kieran looked at him as if he were insane, then turned to Christina. “Are –“

“I need you to tie your shoes,” Mark went on.

“Oh my god, please, someone stop him,” Kit mumbled, not daring to look.

“No, wait,” Dru said hastily. “It might actually work.”

Kieran squinted his eyes. “These are equestrian boots. Are you on –“

“I don’t want you falling for anyone else,” Mark finished with a smirk.

“Where did he find those lame pick-up lines?” Jaime whispered.

“Probably in ‘the guide to staying single and protecting your virginity at all costs’,” Dru whispered back, and Jaime masked a laugh in an unconvincing coughing fit.

“I came here to talk to Emma and Julian about the missing fairy children,” Kieran said to Christina.

“Oh, ha ha,” Mark threw his head back as he laughed. “You are hilarious.”

“Do you find missing faerie children amusing?” Kieran raise an annoyed eyebrow.

“What?” Mark stopped his elegant laughter to look at him.

Kieran ignored him, turning to Christina again. “Are Emma and Julian in their office?”

“Yes, they’re waiting for you.”

With a courteous bow, Kieran headed to the office.

“Well, that was a shitshow,” Jaime commented, and Mark sat back down, his face red with embarrassment.

They sipped their coffee in silence. Kit sneaked out secretive glances in Ty’s direction; maybe it was Kit’s imagination, but his friend seemed quieter than usual. Kit half expected him to make an earnest comment about Mark’s flirting, maybe point out that statistically speaking, he doesn’t seem to have a high rate of success. But Ty remained silent.

Ten minutes later, Kieran had finished his business with the Shadowhunters and left.

“Bye, Kier,” Kit yelled after him, then whispered to Jaime, “do you think that Mark traumatized him?”

“I can hear you,” Mark said miserably.

Emma returned to the kitchen, steps as light and gracious as a pregnant rhinoceros’.

“Kit, my office. Now.”

Kit followed obediently.

“Ty’s algorithms indicate an increase in sleep apnea related deaths. A large number of those deceased during the last three months lived alone, and it took time to discover them. I need you to investigate.”

“On it.”

Ty had brought the Shadowhunters work into the mundane’s 21st century. By monitoring data from police stations and hospitals, his algorithms indicated whether an abnormal number of deaths or injuries from a certain cause occurred. Additionally, Ty followed the number of unclosed cases by the mundane police. A large number could indicate demon activity that mundanes could not explain. After going through mundane forensic analysis, the corpses of the victims were collected and analyzed in the Shadowhunters laboratories. Kit would have to go to the lab and get the report from the forensic analyst assigned to his case.

There were three forensic laboratories in the US; one for the west coast institutes, one for the east coast and the south, and one for the Midwest. A series of ever-open portals connected the institutes to their assigned laboratory. The LA institute portal was located behind the Head of Institute office, so Kit went to Emma and Julian’s office and passed through.

The familiar smell of chlorine and formaldehyde filled his nose when he stepped out of the portal and into the large, white lobby. Two forensic analysts wearing white lab coats nodded to Kit as they passed him. One of them was missing both legs and, hence, sat in a wheelchair. The workers of the labs were usually mundanes with the sight, or in rare cases – Shadowhunters wounded in battle to the point in which they would no longer be of any use as soldiers. No Shadowhunter fit for battle would work in such a place, as Shadowhunters were desperately needed, especially after the large number of casualties caused by the dark war.

Most workers were mundanes with the sight that were discovered after turning eighteen, so they could no longer drink from the mortal cup and be turned. They were thus recruited by the clave to work as evidence gatherers, forensic analysts, consultants, mediators, and the like.

The bodies related to Kit’s case were collected by the paramedics and were about to go through post mortem analysis. Kit headed to the morgue. He already knew Margert would be assigned to his case and would be waiting for him there.

Kit loved Margert. She was a sweet old lady, good at her job, and most importantly – completely smitten with him. She would do whatever he asked her to and always made his cases her priority.

Therefore, he was more than a little taken aback when instead of the familiar wrinkled face and graying hair, he came face to face with a young brown-haired man in a lab coat. Said man had a set of warm light-brown, almost golden eyes, and glasses with a thick black frame. He smiled shyly at Kit.

“Mr. Herondale, I presume?”

Kit eyed him suspiciously. “Yeah, and you are…?”

“Samuel Firedart.” The young man handed out his hand for a handshake, which Kit ignored. “I am the forensic analyst assigned to your case. I just moved here from Philadelphia.”

“Where’s Margaret?” Kit asked, not caring that he came off as rude.

“She’s handling another case,” Sam replied.

“No, she has to handle mine,” Kit said firmly. “Call her and tell her I need her.”

“I apologize, Mr. Herondale,” Sam replied timidly. “But I’m afraid the orders of the clave were to assign all new cases to me, as Margert is about to retire.”

“No,” Kit said stubbornly. “She can’t retire.”

“I see it comes as a shock to you, but I assure you, I am good at what I do. I graduated first in my class and was recruited by the clave officials for this job. I had done one year as an intern before being certified and moving here.”

That was impressive, Kit had to admit. Most interns were certified after at least two years. Plus, he graduated first in his class… somehow it only made Kit dislike him more.

“Let’s get to work?” Sam suggested quietly.

“I guess,” Kit replied unenthusiastically.

Five minutes later Kit was already contemplating stabbing himself with his seraph blade, just to drown out Sam’s voice.

“I look at the insect specimens collected from the corpse. By studying the species present and their relative maturity I can estimate the time of death. To do this, however, I will need to obtain a climate report from a nearby weather station to consider the effects of weather on insect development, necessary in accurately establishing post-mortem interval.”

“Fascinating,” Kit said sarcastically.

Sadly, Sam seemed to think he was being serious. “It is”, he nodded in agreement. “One should keep in mind that there are five basic stages of body decomposition,” he said enthusiastically. “Fresh, putrefaction, fermentation, dry decay and skeletonization.”

“Oh god, that’s nasty.” Kit felt his stomach turn.

“Every stage attracts different kinds of organisms,” Sam continued. “They feed off the body and recycle the matter. Blow flies are attracted to a corpse very soon after death and lay their eggs in natural openings or in a wound -”

“Okay, as delightful as this conversation is,” Kit cut him off. “I have to go. I’ll let you collect your little insect buddies, and I’ll come see you tomorrow.”

Not waiting for Sam’s reaction, Kit turned around and left.

_Next time I’m bringing Ty along,_ he decided. _Let him talk to that dork._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled “TIL That a giraffe weevil is a type of beetle (so, nothing useful)”.   
> Get ready for Ty to meet Sam (and for Kit not to like their interaction. At all).


	3. TIL that a giraffe weevil is a type of beetle (so, nothing useful)

“Hey, bestie,” Kit said joyfully as he plumped down on the couch next to Ty. According to the title of the book he was holding, Ty was reading the _History of Australian Aboriginal Spirits and Deities._ The book was so long Kit found it offensive.

“Hey, Kit,” Ty replied without lifting his eyes from the odious book.

“So,” Kit said in the sweetest tone he could manage. “I’m going to the forensic lab and I want you to come with me.”

“Are you too scared to go alone? I already told you, they still have no idea that the whole formaldehyde-incident was your fault.”

“It’s not about that, though it’s good to know,” Kit said. “There’s this super weird forensic analyst named Sam Fire-something and I need you to come and talk to him for me.”

“Talk to him yourself.”

“I can’t, due to a small inconvenience: every time he opens his mouth I simultaneously want to throw up and fall asleep. So, come on, please?”

“No! That can be your ‘today I learned’. Master the interaction with forensic analysts.”

“I tried! But I swear, he opens his mouth and I want to kill myself. Come on, Ty, please? Pretty please? Just do this one tiny favor for your best friend and I’ll never ask you for anything ever again, I promise. Come on. Please. Please. Please. Please. P-”

“Fine! Just stop talking.”

“Yay, you’re the bestest friend ever.”

“ _Bestest_ is not a word.”

“It is now, and it describes you perfectly.” Kit replied. “Come on, put your gear on. We need to go.”

*******

They stepped through the portal and into the forensic lab’s lobby and were immediately hit by the familiar smell of chlorine and formaldehyde. Ty headed to the analytical lab and Kit followed him reluctantly.

They found Sam perched on his desk and filling a report. He quickly got up when he heard them enter.

“Mr. Herondale,” he said, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Mr. Firedork.” Kit replied unenthusiastically.

“It’s Firedart, actually,” the brown-haired man corrected him shyly. “Samuel Firedart,” he said as he turned to Ty.

“Tiberius Blackthorn,” Ty introduced himself.

“Pleased to meet you,” Sam replied, looking like he was pleased to meet him indeed. He stared at Ty wide-eyed, his lips slightly parted.

_Yeah, Ty is good-looking. So what_ , Kit thought angrily. _Get a hold on yourself, you maggot-lover._

“Um… Let me show you my findings.” Sam said, then turned around and gestured for them to follow him.

Ty shot Kit a disapproving look. “Fire _dork_? Really?” he whispered reproachfully.

Kit shrugged. “Fits his personality.”

Sam led them to the adjacent room, in the center of which was placed one long table made of white epoxy raisin ( _it has a high chemical and bacterial resistance_ , Ty had explained to Kit once), three fume hoods at the far edge, and along the walls, whiteboards and shelves filled with opaque bottles ( _to protect the materials from incident light_. Kit was proud of himself; he always remembered the things that Ty told him).

“According to the developmental stage of the maggots I collected from the bodies, these are the approximate dates of death of the victims,” Sam said as he gestured at the whiteboard behind him.

Ty looked at it with interest. “And what is the accuracy of the dating?”

“About two days,” Sam replied. “The temperature –“

“Was relatively hot these past two weeks,” Ty finished his sentence. “The maggot’s metabolic rate was increased.”

“Yes, exactly.” Sam seemed impressed.

And so, a chain of studying stares was formed. Ty studied the whiteboard with interest; Sam studied Ty with fascination; and Kit studied Sam with contempt.

“Lucky we caught this on time,” Ty finally said. “I prefer not using insect succession.”

“Insect succession?” Kit gaped at him. “They inherit the body like some sort of royal dynasty?”

“Insect succession uses the fact that a body supports a rapidly changing ecosystem as it decomposes,” Ty explained. “As a body decays, the remains go through physical, biological and chemical changes, and different stages attract different species of insects.”

“Wow, your knowledge is very impressive,” Sam commented.

Ty blushed slightly. “I like to read.”

“ _Like_ is an understatement.” Kit laughed. “He spends his life either on a mission or reading at home. We can never get him out of the house to have some fun.”

“I prefer reading to going out as well,” Sam said. “When you go out you experience one reality, but books enable you to experience thousands.”

“This is exactly how I feel,” Ty said enthusiastically. “I just never found the words to express it.”

For reasons he could not pinpoint, Kit did _not_ like the enthusiasm in Ty’s voice.

“Yes, yes. We all know how to read words,” he said. “Now Firedork… um sorry… Firedart, could you please tell us what else you found?”

“Yes,” Sam replied distractedly without taking his eyes off Ty. “Which books to you like to read?”

“My favorites are Sherlock Holmes,” Ty replied.

“I usually read biographies; out of the Sherlock Holmes novels I only read the Hound of the Baskervilles,” Sam said.

“ _I_ read all of them,” Kit said triumphantly but Sam and Ty did not seem to hear him.

“I could lend you others,” Ty addressed Sam. “I have all of them at home.”

“I would love that.”

Ty continued to look at the whiteboard until suddenly his eyes lit up.

“The deaths seem to occur around Wednesday; if one accounts for the margin of error,” he said.

“You’re right.” Sam stared at him intently.

“Did you check for trace amounts of demoniac chemicals?” Ty continued.

“Yes, I didn’t find anything,” Sam replied, still not breaking his gaze away from Ty. “But that’s because I didn’t look in the right place. The deaths happened around Wednesday, this could be the work of one of the children of Astaroth -”

“Which means that the trace amounts of demoniac iron should appear around the right hands of the victims,” Ty finished Sam’s thought.

Kit did not particularly enjoy the way these two seemed to be synchronized.

“If you’ll wait a few minutes, I could run a test and give you the results right away.”

“Thank you.” Ty smiled at him, and for a moment Sam froze in place.

“So, go, yeah?” Kit urged him on.

“Sorry, yes. It will only take a few minutes.” Sam blushed and rushed out of the room.

“He is very nice,” Ty commented after Sam left.

“Super nice,” Kit replied unenthusiastically.

He studied his best friend. Ty was looking around the lab with great interest. Kit loved that about him; Ty was always curious and full of wonder. He made Kit see the world from a different perspective.

“There’s a match,” Sam announced when he got back. “There are traces of demoniac iron around the wrists of two bodies I just tested. I could check the rest and report to you, but I think it’s pretty clear that these deaths result from demon attacks.”

“Great, we solved the case,” Ty said happily. “Kit, we should report back to Emma and plan the attack.”

“Definitely,” Kit replied.

“We will come back for the rest of the report,” Ty said to Sam. “Is tomorrow okay?”

“Sure.” Sam smiled. “I would love to.”

“You would love to _what_?” Kit stared at him.

“To… um… to report to you… tomorrow,” Sam blurted.

“Great, _I’ll_ be there,” Kit replied. “ _I’ll_ come by and collect the report for _my_ case. It will be lovely.”

“Oh,” Sam seemed disappointed.

“I’ll see you around, then.” Ty bit his lower lip.

“Marvelous,” Kit said as he walked out the door and towards freedom. Freedom from maggots and chemicals and annoying Firedorks trying to befriend Ty way too bluntly.

He turned around to see that Ty hadn’t followed him. Grunting, he returned to the lab.

“There’s a great temporary exhibit that shows a collection of insects from Madagascar.” He heard Sam tell Ty with enthusiasm. “I read that they even have giraffe weevils on display!”

“Wow.” Ty looked amazed.

“A giraffe is not an insect. It’s a mammal,” Kit commented from the doorframe, feeling every bit like the intellectual that he was.

Sam stared at him. “The giraffe weevils are a type of beetle named in honor of their elongated necks.”

“Which evolved for fighting and building elaborate nests,” Ty added.

“Oh, I didn’t know that.” Sam looked interested.

Ty blushed again. “I know lots of insect facts, but usually people are bored with them.”

“ _I’m_ never bored with your facts,” Kit reminded him.

Sam and Ty ignored him. “Would you like to go with me to see the exhibit? I would love to hear everything you know about beetles.”

_Seriously?!_

“I would,” Ty said shyly.

Kit didn’t even know why it made him mad that Sam wanted to be Ty’s friend. Ty is great. Ty is awesome, even. Of course anyone would want to be his friend. It was just that… Sam. He’s so… _Sam_. Kit wanted to smack him over the head with a giraffe beetle, whatever that was.

*******

“Great job,” Emma said after Kit had finished detailing Sam’s findings and the connection to Astaroth.

“It was all Ty,” Kit replied.

“We know that the next attack should happen on Wednesday, and according to the operation pattern of Astaroth children, between ten and eleven PM,” she continued. “We’ll set up patrols around the areas of potential victims – I’ll have Ty make a list – and we’ll catch him. I’m teaming you up with Jaime. Clear?”

“Clear.”

Kit got out of Emma’s office and walked the long corridor leading to the sleeping quarters. He had a date tonight, and it only made sense to take a shower to wash off the forensic lab smell off him. He reached the staircase just as Ty descended them, book in hand. He had clearly just gotten out of the shower; he smelled like coconut and vanilla soap. It was Kit’s favorite.

“I’m going to my room. To shower. Because I want to shower,” Kit felt a need to explain. “Sometimes I just want to shower,” _What?_

“I think we can all relate,” Ty replied.

“Yes… so when I want to shower – I sometimes do.” _What are you even saying?_ Kit had no idea.

“Good for you.” Ty smiled at him as if Kit were a dumb child.

“It is.” _Just shut up! Shut up already!_

He started climbing the stairs when Ty said “Hey,” and Kit turned around so abruptly his neck made a concerning clicking sound. “Yeah?”

“Do you want to watch a movie tonight?” Ty asked. “If you’re not busy, of course.”

“I’m free as a bird,” Kit replied, then took out his phone and quickly texted Dominik, the guy he was supposed to take out tonight, that he needs to cancel their date.

Kit would did not want to miss an opportunity to spend time with Ty. Everything else, _everyone_ else, could wait.

*******

Kit dimmed the lights and came to join Ty on the couch. Ty pressed play and in the fraction of a second his mind focused on the movie and tuned out the rest of the world. Without thinking, Kit shifted closer to Ty. He didn’t seem to notice, still absorbed in the plot, and Kit leaned to put his head on Ty’s lap – Ty let him do that most days, as he seemed unable to refuse Kit when he used a small pleading voice –

“What are you guys doing?”

With a sigh, Kit pressed pause and turned to see Jaime and Dru.

“Making jewelry out of sea glass and talking about our feelings.”

“You’re hilarious.” Dru deadpanned.

“I think so too,” Ty said, clearly missing the sarcastic tone in Dru’s voice. Kit felt a rush of affection towards him.

Jaime squinted his eyes. “I thought you had a date tonight.”

“I don’t,” Kit replied hastily.

“Yes, you do,” Jaime insisted. “I distinctly remember, because you bragged that the guy you were going out with looked like Channing Tatum.”

“No, you’re wrong,” Dru said impatiently. “He was supposed to go out with the girl that looks like a young Brigitte Bardot!”

“Neither,” Kit replied impatiently. “I’m free like the majestic bald eagle. Now, please go away.”

Jaime ignored him. “Can we watch the movie with you guys?”

“Sure,” Ty replied before pressing play again.

Kit studied his face; Ty’s tall cheek bones, his long eyelashes, his messy black hair. Kit was being childish. Ty was his best friend. But Ty could have other friends. That’s all that was. Another friend. There was no way that Sam was coming between them.

So, when the movie ended, and Ty suddenly turned to him and asked “do you think that it’s a good idea? Sam, I mean”, Kit smiled and said confidently,

“That’s a _great_ idea.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled “TIL that Sam had meant that as a date”.   
> Get ready for Ty to go on his first date ever and for Kit to be very confused.


	4. TIL that Sam meant that as a date

Kit woke up way too late. His head was throbbing, and the bright rays of sun hurt his eyes. Cursing silently, he lifted himself up to a sitting position and looked to his right at the girl sleeping next to him, her long green hair spread on the pillow.

He picked his phone from the bedside table and unlocked it to see no missed calls or messages. He had sent a message to Ty last night telling him that he won’t be home tonight. He always sent messages to Ty whenever he spent the night outside, so he wouldn’t worry. Lately, he had been sending so many of them, Ty might have stopped expecting him to come home at all.

Yet, even if Kit had spent the night in someone else’s bed – and rarely in the same bed twice, at that – he always left the moment he woke up. He never had breakfast with anyone he hooked up with, or even casually dated. It felt wrong, somehow. Breakfast should be eaten with your family and your loved ones.

With his best friend.

He had to come back home to make Ty coffee. One third espresso, one third hot milk, and one third of foam, and no sugar. Just the way he liked it.

Kit got up quietly and started looking for his clothes. He found his jeans and boxers on the floor and his t-shirt thrown on a chair. He put them on and left the fairy’s apartment.

He got into Emma’s car, which he borrowed the night before, turned the key in the ignition and stepped on the gas. If he hurried, he might make it in time before Ty finished his shower and got down for breakfast. He would make his coffee and they would sit down in a comfortable silence, or maybe Ty would tell him about the latest book he read or the latest case he had been working on, and Kit would listen with a smile. Ty wouldn’t ask where Kit was last night, and Kit wouldn’t tell him.

When they were younger, Kit used to tell Ty about his sexual partners, but as they got older it seemed… unfitting. Ty wasn’t interested in parties or casual sex. In fact, he never even had his first kiss. He didn’t mind it, either. He was waiting for the right person to come along.

They talked about it, at Emma and Julian’s wedding. He admitted to Kit that he wanted to have a serious relationship but that he still wasn’t ready. He could see himself, he said, with a man – when he meets the right one.

“Not me,” Kit had told him then. “I am a devotee of the philosophy that no relationship should last longer than a month. After that, it’s practically marriage. And who in their right minds would want that?”

“Emma and Julian seem very happy,” Ty had commented.

“That’s because they’re _insane_ ,” Kit had replied.

He hadn’t changed his mind since. He was happy the way things were. Absolutely, perfectly happy.

_Happy_.

Can a person even know if they’re truly happy?

Kit quickly chased this thought out of his mind. What the hell was wrong with him, discussing German skepticism with himself this early in the morning. He turned on the radio and voided his mind.

When he reached the institute, he parked the car askew and slammed the door behind him then practically sprinted into the kitchen and arrived just in time to grab the kettle from Ty’s hand.

“Sit down, I’ll make your coffee.”

Ty studied Kit’s flushed face. “I can make my own.”

“I know.” Kit smiled at him. “But I want to make it for you.”

“Thank you,” Ty muttered.

He poured water into the kettle as Ty sat down without further arguing. Four years of friendship had taught Ty that sometimes it was best not to argue with Kit because he could be extremely persistent (“annoying”, Ty would say) when he chose to.

Kit made Ty’s perfectly balanced coffee in his favorite mug, then chose another one at random for himself, poured coffee and added two spoons of sugar. He placed Ty’s mug in front of him and joined him at the table.

They sipped their coffee, and Ty didn’t ask where Kit had been last night. Instead, he began detailing a complex theory he developed about a possible demon trafficking ring. Kit listened attentively, impressed – as always – by the way that Ty’s mind worked. He was so focused on Ty’s words that he didn’t notice the kitchen being slowly filled by the rest of the institute members.

Distantly, he realized that Jaime had taken the seat on his other side.

“Dru, we both have a night off. Do you want to, maybe, go to a movie with me?” Jaime asked, a little too nonchalantly for it to sound sincerely casual.

Dru took some time before she replied. “No, I think I’ll stay here and practice my archery.”

“Ah. Do you want to practice together?”

“No, it’s fine. Go enjoy your night off.”

Kit broke his gaze away from Ty to look at her. They locked eyes for a moment, and then she quickly averted her gaze. It was odd. She and Jaime were usually inseparable, almost as Kit and Ty were, but lately it seemed that she had been avoiding him.

“He’s coming today!” Mark’s shriek took Kit’s attention away from Dru. “Kieran has another meeting with Emma and Julian.”

“Oh no,” Kit muttered. “What’s your new plan?”

Mark’s eyes brightened. “So, I read this psychology book,” he began.

“Is it peer-reviewed?” Ty asked. “Otherwise it’s just popular science and you’re wasting your time.”

“It doesn’t matter, because it won’t work anyway,” Dru said.

Mark looked cross. “You haven’t even heard it.”

“Dude, none of your plans work,” Jaime said. “Maybe it’s time to… you know. Move on?”

“That’s quitter talk!” Julian scolded him. “Don’t ever give up on your dreams, Mark. Be fearless. Pursue what sets your soul on fire.”

Emma bit her lower lip. “Babe, you’re so hot right now.”

“God fucking dammit,” Kit grunted. “Here we go again.”

“At least take this away from the kitchen table this time!” Jaime raised his hands in supplication.

To everyone’s relief, Emma dragged Julian away from the room.

Kit stared down at his empty coffee mug. Julian’s words echoed in his head.

_Pursue what sets your soul on fire._

What _does_ set his soul on fire? Kit had no idea. He had fun drinking and partying and hooking up. He loved the adrenaline of meeting someone new and courting them, he loved the chase, he loved the conquest. But did he have anything _meaningful_?

Kit scolded himself internally. What was it with him and the existential crisis today?

“Anyway, this book introduced the technique of mirroring,” Mark continued, unaffected. “Basically, to make someone like you, you subtly mimic their behavior. So, when Kieran comes here, I’ll try to copy his body language and his facial expressions.”

“That sounds terrible,” Kit said. “Please don’t do it.”

“I’m doing it.”

“Don’t, though.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Mark countered. “He’ll reject me? I’m used to it by now. I don’t care. If there’s a chance that it will work – no matter how small that chance might be – I’m going to try it. I’m not giving up.”

“Wow, Mark, that was, like, _inspirational_.” Dru sounded impressed. “You know what? You just gave me the courage to pursue what _I_ want!”

Jaime straightened up in his chair. “And what… what’s that?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

“I met this guy when we were at that faery rave,” Dru replied. “A mundane with the sight. He was really cute, but I was too shy to ask for his phone number. I’ll ask his friend today.”

“Ah… um… wonderful.” Jaime averted his gaze quickly.

The doorbell rang. “I’ll get that!” Jaime jumped before anyone could react. In half a minute he came back, followed by a haughty-looking Kieran.

“Good morning.” Kieran inclined his head, his expression neutral.

Mark inclined his head in a perfect imitation. “Good morning,” he echoed.

Kieran seemed slightly surprised at Mark’s almost normal behavior. Kit hoped that the situation would not deteriorate from there.

His hopes were shattered, however, when Kieran tucked a strand of midnight blue hair behind his ear, and Mark tried to do the same, forgetting that - unlike Kieran - his own hair was short. He tried to mask his faulty move by awkwardly caressing his own ear. Next to Kit, Jaime cringed.

Kieran crossed his hands, eying Mark suspiciously, and Mark mirrored him. Kieran furrowed his eyebrows, and Mark copied his expression. Kieran took one step back, and Mark did the same.

“Are you mocking me?” Kieran asked irritably, his hair turning coal black.

“What? No! I’m not – “

“I will not stand for this,” Kieran cut him off.

“No, I didn’t –“

“I have a meeting.” With that, he left.

When the sound of his footsteps echoing in the halls died out, Dru exhaled between gritted teeth and Jaime smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand.

*******

Emma was beating Kit mercilessly. Training with her was a death wish, hence why everyone avoided it at all costs, each trying to push her to train with someone else. Today fortune had truly thrown up on Kit, and Emma was made to believe that he needed her to train him in Krav Maga moves.

After two hours from hell, Emma finally stopped punching him, only to inform him that they would be moving on to practice dagger throwing.

“That’s a _great_ idea,” Kit said, then looked around. Ty seemed to have left the training room at some point. “Let me just get Ty. He’ll want to help.”

He left the room hurriedly before Emma could stop him. On his way to Ty’s room he stopped by the kitchen to grab himself a soda. Drowning the physical (and emotional) pain Emma had caused in sugar seemed like a solid plan.

When he reached Ty’s room he found the door ajar. He knocked anyway. “Ty! I need you!”

“Come in,” Ty’s deep voice sounded distracted. He was clearly reading a book which he (and only he) found captivating. Probably something about the distribution of species of ants in geographic space and through geological time. Kit gave himself a mental high five for knowing what these terms meant.

But to his surprise, when he leaned on the doorframe and glanced inside, he saw that Ty was standing in front of the mirror and checking his reflection.

“Since when do you knock?” Ty asked, not breaking his gaze from the mirror.

“Am I being reprimanded for having good manners?” Kit wondered out loud. He opened his can of soda lazily and took a sip.

Ty didn’t answer, focusing instead on trying to smooth down his hair.

“I’m pretty sure that’s the first time I’ve ever seen you use that mirror,” Kit pointed out.

“I usually leave the self-staring to you.”

Kit flashed him a cocky smile. “Can you blame me?” he asked. “Seriously, I’ll have you know that it’s a real burden.”

Ty pushed a strand of black hair out of his face and checked his reflection again. “What is?” he asked distractedly.

“To be this good-looking.” Kit smirked. “No one can stop looking at me, including myself.”

Kit was joking. The truth was that between the two of them, Kit thought that Ty was the handsome one.

Also, the smart one. And the kind one.

Ty smiled, closemouthed. “Does the social convention dictate that I should pity you right now?”

“It absolutely does.”

“Okay then. Poor Kit, how you must suffer.” He put on a black leather jacket and studied his reflection, then pursed his lips and took it off.

“I do.” Kit took another sip and stared at Ty, amused.

“Everyone falls in passionately in love with you at the blink of an eye.”

“Very true.”

“Not a single person can refuse you.”

“Not one.”

Ty threw on another black leather jacket. To Kit it looked identical to the previous one, but apparently there was a difference because Ty looked satisfied and kept this one on. Kit found his behavior extremely odd.

“What did you need me for?” Ty suddenly asked.

“What?” Kit looked at him, confused.

“You came here saying that you needed me.”

“Oh, right.” Kit remembered. “Could you help me with my dagger throwing? Emma says it’s shameful and I’m scared of her.”

“I can’t. I’m going out on a date.”

Kit spit out his soda. “D-Date?”

“Yes, with Sam, remember?”

“What?”

“Kit, you were _there_. How bad is your memory?” Ty studied his face with concern. “I think you need to cut back on your alcohol intake.”

“My memory is perfectly fine, thank you,” Kit said irritably. “I just don’t – a date?”

“Yes. With Sam,” Ty repeated very slowly, as if talking to a stubborn child.

“No, you’re going to the _museum_ with Sam, to look at insects or something,” Kit objected.

“Yes. A date.”

Kit had not realized that Sam meant it as a _date_.

“But… but… _insects_! That’s not a date!”

“He texted me after we left the lab to tell me that it was nice to meet me. We kept texting during the last few days. And this morning, he said that he was really looking forward to our date today. So, I think all evidence indicates that it is, in fact, a date.”

“Okay, but… but you hate crowded and noisy places.” Kit said sheepishly.

“It’s a museum, I’m sure it will be fine.” Ty smiled. “I’m picking him up in ten minutes. Do I look alright?”

Underneath his jacket he was wearing a snug gray t-shirt with a V-neck which showed his Deflection rune and brought out his eyes.

“You look okay, I guess,” Kit mumbled. “Have fun.”

“Thanks!” Ty smiled at him and practically skipped out of the room, leaving Kit gaping after him.

It took his a few moments to regain his senses, but finally Kit threw his empty soda can to the garbage can across the room and turned around.

He headed back to the training room, feeling inexplicably irritated. That’s Ty’s first date. Ever. Kit should have said something supportive. Instead he just mumbled incoherent sentences about insects. God, what an idiot.

“Where’s Ty?” Emma shouted when she saw him.

“Huh?”

“You said that you were going to get him.” Emma gave him an odd look. “Well, where is he?”

“Ah. He’s kind of… on a date,” Kit mumbled.

It annoyed him to say it out loud, though he wasn’t sure why. Something about Sam and the fact that he took Ty to see an insects exhibition - which admittedly, was sort of perfect – annoyed him to no end. Sam Firedork wasn’t special. He was just a boring guy with stupid glasses. Ty’s first date should have been with someone better.

“Are you serious?” Dru shrieked, causing every head in the room to turn towards them. “Guys, our Ty-Ty is on a date!”

“Wow, that guy must be very special,” Christina commented, and Kit made a face. “Ty never agreed to go out with anyone.”

“Yeah, and he gets hit on a lot,” Emma added. “Like, _constantly_. Just last week we took down some demon-drug dealers, and my informant was all over him.”

“Yes, Ty is… he’s beautiful,” Kit said quietly. “But the guy he’s seeing is lame.”

“I have a hard time believing that.” Julian smiled. “If Ty agreed to go out with him, he must be remarkable.”

“No, it’s Sam Firedart. The new forensic analyst,” Kit replied dryly.

“Ooooh so he’s super smart, huh?” Emma squealed.

“He’s a dork.” Kit snorted. “Books are his friends.”

“Ty loves reading,” Perfect Diego said unhelpfully, and Kit wanted to punch him right in his perfect nose.

“The guy is obsessed with beetles,” he continued with contempt. “And not the cool, John Lennon and Ringo Starr kind. Actual, many-legged, beetles!”

“Ty is fascinated by insects.” Dru smiled. “It’s like a match made in heaven!”

Kit cursed under his breath. “Ty is going out with a maggot-lover and you’re all applauding this.”

“How come when Ty likes insects you find it adorable, but when this guy does it’s suddenly disgusting?” Julian raised an eyebrow.

Kit cursed again. “It’s completely different!”

“Okay, buddy,” Julian patted his head.

Clearly, they all lost their minds, and Kit was in no mood to stand this madness. He stormed out of the room and directly into the kitchen, opened the freezer and took out a container of cookie dough ice cream, put three scoops in a bowl and sat down in front of the TV.

Netflix suggested Bridget Jones's Diary. _Yeah, why not_. Kit pressed play. _That’s a cool movie._

He enjoyed about five minutes of ice cream and quiet and absolutely no thoughts about any maggot-lovers, when Emma pulled him out of his peaceful state.

“What are you doing?”

With a dramatic sigh, Kit pressed pause.

“Is not knowing what movies are a family trait?” he wondered out loud.

“Are you eating ice cream and watching Bridget Jones?”

“What an amazing detective you make,” Kit said dryly.

“I’ve never seen you watch a movie without Ty,” she commented.

“Well, Ty isn’t here right now, is he?” Kit snapped.

Emma’s reply was cut off by Julian. “Em, are you – oh, Kit, what are you doing?”

“Take a wild guess.”

“Kit is a little snappy today,” Emma told her husband then turned back to Kit. “Is it because we all think that Sam must be great, and you’re jealous because he’s smarter than you’re scared that he might take your place in our hearts? We’ll always love you, you know. Even if your dagger throwing sucks and your choice of movies is questionable.”

“Okay, first off, Bridget Jones is awesome,” Kit retorted. “And second - no, I’m not fucking _jealous_ of Sam. I just don’t understand why Ty would go out with him, that’s all.”

“Instead of with… _whom_?” Julian raised an eyebrow.

“What?” Kit stared at him irritably.

“Who would you rather Ty had gone out with?” Julian asked.

“I don’t know,” Kit grunted. “Someone else. Someone better.”

“I see,” Julian said calmly. “Ty should have gone out with someone _else_.” He put a weird emphasis on the last word.

“Yes!” Kit snapped. “I don’t understand why he agreed to go out with fucking Sam.”

Julian hummed. “I have a theory as to why Ty went out with Sam instead of with this, um, _someone else_. Care to hear it?”

“Yes, thank fuck,” Kit replied angrily. “Please, enlighten me as to why –“

“Because Sam actually asked him.”

“Huh?” Kit gaped at him. Sometimes Julian just didn’t make any sense. “What do you mean?”

Julian just flashed an annoying smile, so Kit threw a pillow at his stupid face. With a quick movement, Julian caught it and threw it back on the couch. “Good night, Kit.” Was he said before he left, pulling Emma and leaving Kit gaping after them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled “TIL that a chocolate cake perfectly balances out an entire container of ice cream”. Get ready to see Sam and Ty on another date and grit your teeth as Kit is being very… well, Kit.
> 
> On another note, I just finished writing chapter 8 and there’s this one sweet/sad scene in it, in which Kit does something for Ty, and I just had to tell you that it was the first time I cried while writing.
> 
> (p.s. don't forget to leave kudos if you liked the story :) )


	5. TIL that a chocolate cake perfectly balances out an entire container of ice cream

“Want to practice hand-on-hand combat?” Jaime asked Kit when he entered the training room.

“Yes, I would _love_ to have your hands on me,” Kit replied, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

He always took great pleasure in bluntly flirting with Jaime. Mostly because Jaime was straight as hell, and Kit tried to push the limits and make him blush - which rarely happened. In practice, it was mostly Ty who was affected if he was within earshot. Kit glanced at Ty to see him staring at him, slightly flushed. His best friend quickly averted his gaze when Kit caught him starting and turned back to his weight lifting.

Jaime stepped on the mat. “You’re going down, Herondale.”

“It will be your pleasure,” Kit lowered his voice and looked him straight in the eyes. “I’ve been told I’m excellent at that.”

Behind him, Ty had clearly understood Kit’s less-than-subtle innuendo. He made a choking sound and Kit turned around to see him blushing like mad.

Kit stared at him. Usually, he was amused by seeing Ty blushing from his suggestive remarks to Jaime. Ty was an adorably innocent virgin, and normally Kit found his reactions to those comments an entertaining side-effect. But now, as he studied Ty’s flushed cheeks, it made him feel oddly embarrassed. He felt his own face getting red as well, which was extremely disconcerting since Kit was never embarrassed about _anything_.

Luckily, for the first time in her life, Emma had perfect timing.

“Kit!” she yelled as she walked into the room at a determined pace. “A dead mermaid was washed ashore this morning. The body was brought to the lab for post mortem analysis. If the mermaid died from natural causes or killed as a result of a conflict between the merfolk – we won’t intervene. If, however, it was a demon attack - we need to get involved. I need you to go to the forensic lab. The new guy is waiting for you there.”

Kit ran out of the room without looking back. Only when he had reached the portal, had it dawned on him that he was headed towards another lovely meeting with Sam.

Apparently, Ty and Sam’s date yesterday had went very well. Kit was not there when Ty got back, having been assigned to patrol with Dru, so he didn’t hear it from him directly. When they got back from patrol – which Kit had spent wondering out loud if Sam had already ditched Ty to elope with a moth – Ty was asleep. Julian was awake, though, and he informed them that Ty seemed very happy when he got back. This morning, Kit tried to force himself to politely ask Ty how it went but found himself getting inexplicably angry every time he tried to open his mouth.

Kit walked into the analytical lab without knocking and found Sam working on a chemical reaction inside a fume hood. When he heard Kit enter, he quickly took his gloves off and turned around, smiling. His smile, however, disappeared when he saw Kit.

“Disappointed to see me instead of Ty?” Kit guessed.

“Yes. No! I mean… a little bit,” Sam admitted. “I just… I got him something,” he gestured at a large book on his desk. “And I was hoping I could give it to him.”

Kit picked it up and his stomach tightened. It was a large book with butterflies on its cover, and the title read “Encyclopedia of Insects”.

He looked back at Sam.

“He said he never had an insects encyclopedia,” Sam mumbled.

“Great, I’ll give it to him,” Kit said dryly.

“That’s okay, I can just give it to him when I see  –“

“I’ll give it to him for you,” Kit replied. “Now, I need the autopsy of the mermaid.”

*******

Half an hour later, Kit stepped through the portal and into Julian and Emma’s office, the encyclopedia a heavy weight under his arm. Such a Firedork move. Giving Ty encyclopedias. What’s next? He’s going to publish a peer-reviewed scientific article and dedicate it to Ty? Fucking Fire _douche_.

Kit was too busy hating Sam to notice that he had wandered into the training room.

“Kit, there’s no easy way to ask that,” Jaime said slowly, snapping Kit out of his trance. “But why do you carry around this gigantic insects encyclopedia?”

Kit felt his temper rising again as he forced himself to answer. “Sam got it as a gift for Ty.”

“Aww,” Dru squealed. “That’s like the nerd equivalent of flowers!”

“No.” Jaime shook his head. “I think it’s more like the equivalent of a key to his apartment.”

“You think so?” Dru sounded thoughtful. “They’re getting serious really fast. Isn’t it too early for Ty to have a key?”

“By the Angel’s balls!” Kit cried out. “He didn’t give him a key, he gave him a book!”

They both ignored him.

“Hey, Diego!” Jaime called out.

Perfect Diego turned around. “Sí?”

“The guy Ty is going out with just got him the Encyclopedia of Insects!” Jaime yelled.

Christina squealed with glee. “Que romántico!”

“No, not _romantico_ ,” Kit grunted. “Book! How do you say book in Spanish? Not romantico, booko! Very booko!”

“It’s _libro_ ,” Jaime said, then turned to Christina and Diego. “Would you guys say it’s the nerd equivalent of flowers, or of a key to his apartment?”

“It’s somewhere in between,” Christina replied. “I would say… it’s the equivalent of personalized wine.”

“Wow, totally,” Dru agreed.

“That’s adorable,” Jaime said. “I really want to meet this guy. When do you think Ty will bring him over?”

“They’ve only been on one date!” Kit exclaimed.

“Yeah, but like, he gave him an encyclopedia, man.”

“Yeah, man!” Perfect Diego nodded in agreement. “That’s some serious stuff!”

“Okay, so, I’m leaving now, because clearly you lost your minds,” Kit said and left with the odious book under his arm, somehow weighing even more that it did before.

He reached Ty’s room and knocked on the door. “It’s me.”

“Come in.” Ty’s deep voice made him feel all sorts of warm inside.

He opened the door to see Ty standing in the middle of the room, barefoot and covered in ichor.

“Seriously, Kit, since when do you knock?”

“I didn’t want to be rude. Do you have a minute?” Kit asked shyly.

That was new. What did he have to be shy about? Ty and he are best friends. Why can’t he walk into his room and ask him if he has a minute like a normal person?

“Yeah but hold that thought. I need a shower,” Ty answered.

He proceeded to take off his shirt and pants, revealing a muscular, rune-covered body, then went into the bathroom and closed the door. Kit sat down on his bed to wait for him, placing Sam’s gift carefully beside him.

A copy of _A Study in Scarlet_ rested on Ty’s pillow. Kit must have read it to him three times on different occasions. Once, after they lost Livvy, and Kit had stayed up with Ty countless nights when he couldn’t sleep, reading to him. Then he read it to him again after Ty got bitten by a Hellhound and had to rest at the infirmary for two days. The third time was six months ago, when Ty caught a demonic lung infection from being exposed to toxic vapors when they raided an infernal meth lab; because that’s a thing, apparently.

Kit caressed the cover of the book with his fingers; he could probably quote entire paragraphs by now. He closed his eyes, trying to remember the opening line from the book, when Ty stepped out of the shower, his hair still wet and his chest bare.

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

“Right,” Kit said reluctantly and handed him the encyclopedia. “Here. Sam got you something.”

He was not prepared to what happened next; Ty’s whole face lit up as he took the book from Kit’s hands. He smiled when he read the title, looking so happy he reminded Kit of a child opening a present on Christmas morning. Kit could not remember the last time Ty smiled like that and he could not help but fell jealous that Sam was the one that had made Ty so happy.

“He got me the Encyclopedia of Insects!” Ty said with so much excitement Kit couldn’t help but smile as well. “That’s so nice of him! I have to send him a thank you text.”

He leaped out of bed and got his phone, typed a text, and then sat back down next to Kit, opening the book.

“Wow, Kit, look how many entries there are about insect anatomy! And behavior! And Methodology!”

“Um yeah, methodology. Sounds… swell.”

_Swell? Who says ‘swell’?!_

Ty’s phone buzzed. He unlocked it and smiled as he read the text from Sam. “He says that he’s glad I like it, and that he wishes he was there when I got it because he would have wanted to see my...” He blushed. “Smile,” he whispered.

Kit glanced at him then quickly looked away. “He’ll have many opportunities to see it.”

Of course he will; he seems to be able to make Ty happy.

And if Ty is happy, then Kit should be happy too. That is just how friendship works.

“Hey, Ty, do you want to, maybe, go on a walk on the beach?” Kit asked him quietly.

It wasn’t Sunday, but still. Who says they can only go to the beach on Sundays? Best friends can hang out whenever they want.

“I can’t, I have another date with Sam. We’re going to lunch.”

“Lunch?” Kit was scandalized. “But you think restaurants are too crowded!”

“We’re going to that small place on sixth street. You know, the one you and I went to, that one time? It’s really quiet,” Ty replied evenly. “Also, Sam said that if it’ll be too crowded, we can take our food and have a quiet picnic.”

 _Damn it._ Couldn’t that Firedouche screw up at least once?

“Okay, great. Wonderful. So… I’m going to, um, shave.” Kit mumbled and left Ty with his encyclopedia.

*******

Kit plumped into the couch, a container of ice cream in his lap. Netflix suggested Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, and Kit pressed play readily. He managed to finish the entire container by the time Emma and Dru found him.

“I know why you’re eating ice cream whenever Ty goes out on dates,” Emma taunted him.

“Why?” Kit hugged the empty container defensively.

“Ty doesn’t allow you to eat ice cream, so you have to eat it in secret when he’s not around!” she said triumphantly.

“Yes. That is very true,” Kit said gravely. “Please, I beg of you. Don’t tell him.”

“I won’t, but you owe me one.”

Dru rolled her eyes. “Seriously though,” she said. “I wish Ty would bring Sam to meet the family. I’m so curious to know what he’s like.”

“He must be some sort of prince charming if Ty agreed to go out with him,” Emma mused. “All hot and smart and kind.”

“He’s a dorky ass maggot lover!” Kit cried out for what felt like the hundredth time. “How are you not getting this?”

“I bet he smells nice, too,” Dru added, ignoring Kit’s outburst.

Emma nodded in agreement. “He probably smells like tropical waterfalls.”

“What does that even mean?” Kit yelled. “Why would Ty want to go out with a fucking waterfall?”

“I want to smell him!” Dru squealed.

“You guys are getting crazier by the minute. All of you,” Kit said. He checked the time on his phone. “Ty has already been gone for two hours, their date must be over by now.”

“Two hours is not long for a date,” Dru pointed out.

Kit ignored her. “I should go there,” he said. “You know, to walk him back home. It’s a dangerous world out there.”

Dru gaped at him. “Kit, it’s mid-day and he’s a Shadowhunter trained in Krav Maga.”

Kit wasn’t listening at this point. “So, you agree,” he said distractedly. “He _shouldn’t_ walk back home alone.”

He handed Emma the empty ice cream container and headed outside. The restaurant Ty picked out – or was it Sam? – was at a walking distance from the institute. Kit hurried along the busy streets and got to the restaurant in under fifteen minutes. He stormed inside and found Sam and Ty sitting at a small round table at the far end. Apart from a single candle and two glasses of water the table was clean, so Kit deduced that they had already finished eating. Just as he assumed they would.

Kit marched towards them. Ty was talking animatedly, a small smile on his face, and Sam stared at him, mesmerized. He was so captivated by Ty that he spilled some water on himself by accident when he tried to take a sip and missed his mouth with the glass. God, how much Kit had wanted to smack him then.

“Hey,” he said when he reached their table.

Both turned to look at him; Sam with a surprised expression, and Ty with his brows furrowed.

“I didn’t know you would be joining us,” Sam said carefully.

“I’m not. I’m just here to make sure my Ty-Ty gets home safely.”

Ty furrowed his brows some more. “Kit, it’s mid-day and I’m a Shadowhunter trained in Krav Maga.”

“Exactly,” Kit replied. “You can never be too safe. So, are you ready to go?” He looked at the empty table.

“Actually, we ordered dessert,” Sam said, adjusting his glasses.

“Awesome! I love dessert!” Kit took a chair from a nearby table and sat down with them. “So, what did you get? Please tell me it’s –“

“Yes, your favorite. Chocolate cake.” Sam smiled.

Kit looked at him suspiciously.

“Ty told me,” Sam clarified. “He talks about you a lot.”

Kit glanced at Ty, but Ty didn’t look back at him.

The waitress placed a chocolate cake on the table and two spoons. Kit quickly grabbed one and dived in the cake. He had just finished an entire container of ice cream, he needed some chocolate to balance it out.

“Am I boring you with my stories?” Ty asked in a small voice.

Kit stopped eating immediately and looked at him. He knew Ty well enough to read the distressed expression on his face. Fucking Sam, making Ty feel bad and –

“No, not at all! I didn’t mean it like that,” Sam said quickly. “I find everything you say interesting.”

Ty’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Yes, of course.” Sam smiled at him, and Kit wanted to use his spoon as a catapult and launch pieces of cake at his stupid face. “You’re fascinating to me, Ty.”

The corners of Ty’s mouth rose into a grin. “You’re –“

“Plus, also,” Kit cut him off. “I’m awesome. So, hearing him talk about me must be a delight.” He took another bite of the cake, chewing quickly.

“It sure is.” Sam seemed amused. “But the truth is, I knew I would hear much about you. I’ve read a lot about the parabati bond, so I know how close parabati are. It’s the ultimate platonic love.”

Kit stopped chewing. “Chy an I are noch barabchi,” he said, his mouth full.

“What?” Sam turned to Ty.

“We’re not parabti,” Ty clarified. “We’re just friends.”

Kit swallowed. “Hey, I’m offended,” he said. “We’re not _just_ friends. We’re _best_ friends.”

Sam’s brows furrowed. “Oh,” was all he said before he shifted closer to Ty, studying Kit’s face intently.

Kit shrugged and took another mouthful of cake. An odd silence stretched between the three of them, only broken by the sounds of Kit chewing. When the plate was empty, he turned to Ty.

“Ready to go?”

“Okay,” Ty said.

Sam asked for the check and then insisted on paying.

“No, it’s my turn,” Ty said. “You paid for the museum.”

“I want to,” Sam argued.

“But that’s not fair.” Ty seemed very confused, making Kit feel all warm inside. In Ty’s mind, he knew, things had to be balanced and symmetrical.

Sadly, Sam seemed to find Ty’s reaction adorable as well, because he smiled at him all moony-eyed and annoying. “Okay, you can pay if you want to.”

Ty seemed very happy to do so, which made Sam grin even wider and that in turn made Kit want to kick him in the chin - which made no sense at all because Sam was actually being very nice.

They walked outside, and Kit said, “well, that was lovely. Goodbye, Sam.”

He then began walking in the direction of the institute, relishing on the fact that he and Ty could walk home now and talk, or be quiet together – whichever Ty preferred. It didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that Kit would finally get to spend some time with his best friend.

But for some reason, Ty didn’t follow him. Instead he remained where he was, as did Sam.

_Why are they just standing there like a couple of idiots?_

With an annoyed growl, Kit turned back. “Ty, are you coming?”

Sam and Ty seemed not to have heard him.

“I had fun,” Sam told the black-haired Shadowhunter.

“I did too,” Ty replied quietly, gazing at his shoes.

“Ty, are you coming?” Kit was starting to lose his patience. _Just tell him goodbye and be done with it_.

Sam held out his hand. “Is that okay?” he asked Ty.

It fucking wasn’t. Kit wanted to throw a dagger at him.

“Yes,” Ty replied. He took the hand Sam held out to him.

And then they were just standing there, holding hands like a couple of morons, and Kit felt as if all his internal organs had been ripped out and now all that was left inside him was a cold void.

“Ty! Let’s go!” he said again. More than anything, he just hoped that Sam would release Ty’s hand.

“I’ll text you,” Ty said.

“I’ll wait,” Sam replied and finally let go of Ty’s hand.

Ty turned away from him and came to join Kit. “Let’s go home,” he said.

“Yeah.” Kit grinned, feeling relieved. “Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled “TIL that I’m slowly descending into madness”. Get ready to see Kit questioning everything after he learns an unpleasant truth...


	6. TIL that I’m slowly descending into madness

Kit woke up before his alarm clock even went off and jumped off the bed immediately. At long last Sunday had arrived, and that meant beach day with Ty. Nothing could get to Kit today. Nothing at all.

He picked his phone from the bedside table and unlocked it to see a text from Ty.

‘I’m having breakfast with Sam.’

Kit felt a rush of anger flowing through him. He texted back ‘Today is beach day!’ and hit send a bit too hard, then headed down for breakfast, his mind clouded by cold anger. Fucking Firedouche, giving Ty encyclopedias and cakes and ruining beach day.

“Good morning,” Christina said happily when he entered the kitchen. Dru and Jaime nodded in his direction and Mark rubbed his eyes and made an effort to smile. Julian was making coffee and Emma leaned on the kitchen island, detailing a plan of attack. Meanwhile, Perfect Diego sat up perfectly straight, the toasts he made for Christina cut perfectly into perfect triangles in front of him and read the newspaper perfectly. He was definitely a morning person. Kit hated that about him.

Kit grunted and opened the freezer. He was in the mood for morning ice cream and he looked for the cookie dough, but all he could find was some lame low-fat strawberry ice cream. Well, that will have to do. He poured half of the container into a bowl and sat down to eat it.

His phone vibrated, and he unlocked it to read a text from Ty.

‘I know. I’ll be back in two hours.’

So, it seemed that Firedouche wasn’t going to ruin beach day after all. Kit exhaled in relief. He gobbled his ice cream, ignoring the questioning looks the rest were giving him, and headed back upstairs to wait for Ty.

He stopped in front of Ty’s room. The door was open, and Kit glanced inside. The encyclopedia that Sam had given him rested on the bedside table. Kit had an unpleasant flashback of the first time that Ty had met Sam. They talked about giraffe weevils and Kit had said that it’s a mammal. God, how stupid Ty must find him. No wonder why he prefers spending time with Sam over him; Sam is educated on the subjects that Ty finds fascinating.

Kit sat on Ty’s bed and picked up the encyclopedia on the first entry, Aestivation, and began reading.

As it turns out, aestivation is the prolonged dormancy of a insects (or animals in general) that enables them to survive hot or dry periods. Kit focused intently on the words, trying to absorb each one and etch them in his mind so he could talk about this with Ty later.

_Aestivation serves not only to enable the insect to tolerate the rigors of summer but also to ensure that the active phase of the life cycle occurs during the favorable time of the year._

Kit furrowed his brows. The encyclopedia comprised one thousand two hundred and five pages, and dammit, Kit was going to read them all. He was going to go over each entry, from A to Z, and then he’ll know more than Sam Firedork does, and he’ll be able to contribute to his conversations with Ty.

An hour and a half later, Kit was already reading about Autotomy (a defensive response to attack involving the amputation or active breaking of a body part) when Emma found him.

“Kit, the werewolves are having an internal conflict. We’re not going to intervene at this point, but I need you and Jaime patrolling around the area in case things get ugly.”

“No!” Kit protested. “Today is beach day!”

Emma’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Are you disobeying an order?” she asked in a low voice.

“No! God, no,” Kit said quickly, fearing for his life.

“Didn’t think so.” Her voice returned to normal and Kit exhaled in relief. He would live to see another day. “You’ll be patrolling until the afternoon. Julian and Perfect Diego will take your place then.”

******

Patrolling duty was the most boring part of being a Shadowhunter. Basically, it meant walking back and forth along a pre-defined perimeter and doing nothing. Patrolling with Ty was always great, though, because Ty would tell interesting anecdotes, and Kit would make funny remarks and watch Ty’s face lit up as he laughed.

“Just one more hour,” Jaime said.

“Yeah,” Kit muttered in return. “Hey, did you know that some insects will break their legs if they are grasped by a predator, and run away? And if the insect is not an adult, regeneration can occur. Isn’t that the most metal thing you have ever heard?”

“It’s metal as fuck,” Jaime agreed.

Kit nodded excitedly.

“You just remember anything that Ty tells you, don’t you?” Jaime added, amused.

“Actually, I read this one in the encyclopedia that Sam gave him,” Kit replied, pleased with himself. “I’m going to read the entire thing. I nearly finished the letter A.”

“Okay,” Jaime looked at him suspiciously, making Kit feel defensive.

“What?”

“Nothing! I support you and your newfound lifegoal of learning about crickets or whatever.”

Kit laughed. “Thanks. And just so you know, I support your lifegoal as well.”

“What lifegoal?”

“The one that brought you to LA, of course.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Oh, come on.” Kit snorted. “I know.”

“I don’t know what you know because there’s nothing to know,” Jaime retorted.

“Come on.” Kit rolled his eyes. “Why did you really join the LA institute? And don’t try to tell me that it’s because of Diego.”

“It is!” Jaime protested.

“No. It isn’t.”

“Fine, it isn’t.” Jaime cracked.

“Great. Now that we’ve established that – please state the real reason out loud.”

Jaime bit his lip. “It’s hard for me... to admit it.”

“The truth is hard.”

“I’m embarrassed,” Jaime whispered.

“Life is one big embarrassment and then you die.”

“Fine. Here it goes,” Jaime took a deep breath. “It’s not because of Diego. I came here because I’m in love with you.”

*******

“I came here because I’m in love with you.”

Before he could say another word, Kit pulled him by his wrist and into his arms. “Come here, gorgeous.”

He cupped Jaime’s face in his hands and gently titled his face. He leaned in closer until he could feel Jaime’s gentle breath on his lips –

“Okay, okay, you win!” Jaime yelled as he pulled back.

“That should teach you,” Kit said smugly. “Don’t ever play a game of chicken with me. I’m the undefeated champion. Admittedly, it had led me to perform some unsavory acts in the past, but still - I’m the king of chicken.”

“Damn.” Jaime laughed. “How did you know that I was messing with you?”

“Well for starters,” Kit said gravely. “You’re in love with Dru.”

“Fuck.” Jaime took a deep breath. “Is it that obvious?”

“I don’t think she knows, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I don’t know what to do, Kit. I’m so far gone.”

“Bro,” Kit said emphatically.

“Bro.” Jaime shook his head sadly.

“Bro.” Kit put his hand on his shoulder affectionally.

“Bro,” Jaime said with a thankful nod.

“She’s still dating that mundane guy?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, don’t give up! Pursue what sets your soul on fire.”

Jaime raised an eyebrow. “Are you becoming a motivational speaker like Julian now?”

“I told you I would support your lifegoal.”

*******

Kit was thrilled when Perfect Diego and Julian came to take their place and he and Jaime could go back to the institute. He hurried to his room, emptying his pockets on the run and throwing their contents on the floor: witchlight, two Seraph blades, detector, stele, and two rubber gloves (Jace had advised him to always carry some with him, as there was always a chance that he might need to touch something very nasty). He took off the sword strapped on his back and all his gear. Quickly, he changed to jeans and a t-shirt and went looking for Ty.

He found him in the library, working on a case with his headphones on. When he spotted Kit, he took off his headphones and smiled. Kit grinned back.

“How was your patrol?”

“Boring,” Kit answered. “Want to go?”

“Sure.”

They may have lost most of the day already, but Kit sure as hell was not going to give up on beach day. They packed sandwiches and orange juice and headed outside.

They walked along the water, the sand soft under their feet, and watched the waves overlapping each other. The setting sun emitted the last waves of heat, painting the sky in hues of orange, and Ty told Kit about the deep sea – the areas deeper than three hundred feet, in which light can’t penetrate through the water anymore. Kit was enchanted by the way Ty’s face lit up as he described the morphology of sea creatures that may live where the sunlight cannot reach. The corners of Ty’s mouth were slightly curved upwards as he spoke and his gray eyes shone like a dagger reflecting the sunlight, and Kit blinked, startled, because an eye colour like that shouldn’t feel so… warm.

They reached their favorite spot on a large rock – on which, a few years back, Ty had taught him how to draw an Iraze - and sat down. They ate their sandwiches, staring at the waves crushing on the shore and watching the sun set.

“Sam doesn’t like the beach,” Ty said.

Kit didn’t know what to say in response, so he just kept quiet. He studied Ty’s face. His friend watched the sea, lost in thoughts, his eyes steady on the horizon and his face glowing under the last orange rays before twilight invites the stars.

“You’ve got some chocolate, there,” Kit said quietly.

Ty wiped the corner of his mouth. “Is it gone?”

“No, wait.” Kit passed his finger over Ty’s bottom lip. “There.” He breathed.

Ty lifted his gaze and their eyes met. Kit froze; Ty rarely made eye contact with him. In fact, it took three years for Kit to finally see Ty’s eyes staring back at him. And now, each time he did, Kit was mesmerized by the way Ty’s eyes shimmered, silver like a winter’s moon.

“I kissed Sam,” Ty said quietly.

An iceberg formed in Kit’s stomach.

Slowly, it spread into Kit’s lungs, making it harder to breathe.

He looked away at the water. “You… You did.” He managed to mumble.

“Actually, no,” Ty corrected himself and Kit turned to look back at him. “He kissed me, and I kissed him back.”

Kit turned away, his mind filled with a cold fog.

“Good for you.”

A silent stretched between them, and Kit stared at the waves, coming and going.

“It was nice,” Ty suddenly said. “Sort of warm… and wet.”

It was as if he was wandering in a snowstorm; Kit’s eyesight became blurry, the blood froze in his veins, and his mind was a painful chaos.

“It was your first kiss,” he mumbled.

_Ty’s first kiss. Ty’s first kiss was with Sam._

Why did that bother Kit so much? He made out with countless girls and guys, some of which he didn’t even remember thanks to a little magic juice called Tequila. Ty deserved to have someone kiss him too. He was great. He was amazing, even. But his first kiss should not have been Sam. It should have been… someone else. Something else. Kit wasn’t sure why, but the fact that Sam took Ty’s first kiss… drove him insane.

“I’m going to the training room,” he said.

“Now?”

Kit got up. “Yes, now.”

“But… why?” Ty looked dejected. “I thought you wanted to hang out with me.”

“I need to go.”

*******

Kit punched the bag again and again, hoping that the pain would drown out the chaos inside his head.

“Hey, you’re going a little strong on this punching bag,” Emma commented from the doorframe. “And that’s _me_ saying that. Is something going on?”

“Why – would – something – be – going – on?” Kit let out the words in between a series of punches.

“I always take out my anger on these punching bags, so I figured… Oh, I know what it is!” Her eyes brightened up.

Kit stopped punching and looked at her.

“You’re mad because Julian got you low-fat ice cream. He didn’t mean to offend you, you know. It’s just that you seem to have developed an addiction and he doesn’t want you to… um… grow horizontally, if you know what I mean.”

“Yes Emma, you got me again. Oh, how you can see right through me.”

“I _am_ very perceptive,” she said smugly. “Just put it back when you’re done. Goodnight, Kit.”

“Yeah.” Kit punched the bag again, sending it flying back.

He took a deep breath. And then another one, and another one, and after a minute he was able to think more clearly. He had no idea why he was angry. There was no rational reason. Ty is great. Ty deserves to be happy. There’s absolutely no reason that Kit should react like that to the discovery that he just had his first kiss. No reason at all. Everything is great.

But then Kit thought about Sam’s tongue licking its way into Ty’s mouth.

The anger filled him again like burning lava.

He took his rage out on the bag, punching it again and again, trying to tune out the thoughts that tore his mind apart. The worst part was that Kit should have been happy for Ty. A huge thing had happened to his best friend, and Kit was supposed to celebrate this with him. He knew how hard it was for Ty to open up to someone. He knew how long it took him to find someone with whom he felt comfortable enough to get physical. Kit should have reacted differently. But somehow, he couldn’t.

When Christina found him an hour later, his knuckles were swollen and bleeding, and every punch felt as though he was hitting a bag covered in shards of glass. Without a word, she took his hands, wiped the blood, and drew an Iraze on him. When she finished, she studied his face quietly.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” Kit muttered.

Christina passed her fingers gently through his hair. “Nothing is wrong with you,” she said softly.

“I think I’m losing my mind. I’m losing it,” Kit said frantically. “I’m slowly descending into madness. I don’t know what the meaning of my life is anymore, I’m angry with no apparent reason, I’m – I think I’m being mean to my best friend, but I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I think I’m going insane.”

“You’re not,” she said calmly.

“I can’t even be supportive of my best friend. What is happening to me? I used to be a better person, I swear. Now I’m just… I don’t know _what_ I am anymore.”

“You’re human, Kit. Whatever you’re going through, you’ll figure it out. I promise.”

Kit forced himself to believe her; but in the back of his mind, a little voice told him that whatever it was that has been happening to him – it wasn’t going away.

*******

Kit knocked on Ty’s door, but there was no answer; he must have fallen asleep already. Slowly, Kit got back to his room. He changed into his pajamas and lay in his bed.

As hard as he tried to chase away the thought, it kept crawling like insects inside his mind.

_Ty’s first kiss was with Sam._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: the next chapter is titled “TIL that Firedouche is Ty’s boyfriend now, apparently”. Get ready for the whole family to meet Sam...


	7. TIL that Firedouche is Ty’s boyfriend now, apparently

Kit sipped his coffee slowly, very much aware of the empty seat next to him. Ty and Diego went patrolling for the night and still hadn’t returned. Kit texted Ty when he woke up to make sure he was alright, and Ty assured him that they’ll be back by eight-thirty, just as he had originally said.

Kit checked the time on his phone. Seven thirty-six.  The encyclopedia of insects that Sam had given Ty was open in front of him. He had finished the letter A and had just started reading the entry about _beekeeping_.

To his left, Jaime was demolishing a pile of toasts. Next to him, Dru added a spoon of sugar to her coffee.

“Wow guys, did you know that the earliest known hive beekeeping was done in ancient Egypt around 2400 B.C.?” Kit said excitedly.

“Fascinating,” Dru mumbled.

“They used smoke to pacify the bees and then transferred the honey into large storage pots,” Kit added with enthusiasm.

“Nice to see you getting so excited about insects.” Jaime said.

“Why, you like seeing me getting excited?” Kit smirked. “Let’s go upstairs, I’ll show you just how excited I can get given the right enticement.”

On the other side of the table, Julian spit out his coffee. Jaime, however, barely even blinked; the only thing that could faze him these days was eye contact with Dru. If Ty were here, he probably would have blushed like mad. The thought Ty blushing from his remarks made Kit weirdly nervous.

In front of him, Mark was resting his head on his hand, half-asleep. Dru threw a bit of toast at him and it hit him in the nose and made him jump.

“Hey! Who did that?”

Dru chuckled and Jaime turned to look at her, all moony-eyed. Kit kicked him under the table, and Christina used the momentary distraction to steal one of his toasts.

“Hey, Dru…” Jaime tried to sound casual. “Do you want to… er… go to the beach, this evening… for a walk?”

“I can’t. My boyfriend is taking me to dinner.”

Kit glanced at Jaime; he looked crushed.

“Oh. So, he’s your boyfriend now?” he asked drily.

“Guys.” Emma entered the kitchen in a storm, cutting off Dru’s answer. “I’ve got a new case to assign,” she announced. “A dead mundane girl was found this morning. Seems to be an attack. Julian and I are busy with the drugs case. Who’s open?”

“Not it!” Dru said quickly. “It’s my day off.”

“I’m working on the vampire case with Mark,” Jaime said.

Mark nodded in agreement.

“Kit?” Emma turned to him.

“I’ve got the mermaid case,” he replied, not lifting his eyes from the book.

“Congratulations, Tina, the honor is bestowed on you,” Emma told her friend. “I need you to go to the forensic lab and pick up the post mortem report.”

“Wait a second.” Jaime squinted his eyes. “You mean, go to the forensic lab to meet Sam Firedart?”

And all hell broke loose.

The members of the LA institute all realized that whoever got the case would get to finally meet the mysterious guy that stole Ty’s heart.

“I’m going!” Dru yelled, at the same time that Mark shouted “I’ll take the assignment!” and Emma cried out “I’m the head of this fucking institute, _I’m_ going!”.

For a fraction of a second, they all stared at each other. Then Emma leaped forward and began a frantic sprint towards the office. Jaime jumped out of his chair, knocking it to the floor with a loud bang, and ran after her. Julian pushed Mark out of the way and hurried after them, followed by Dru and Christina. Mark quickly regained his senses and rushed after them, shouting “The assignment is mine, heathens!”.

Kit was left alone, his mind not processing what had just happened. He snapped out of the shock and quickly ran after the group of lunatics that were about to terrorize Sam.

He reached the office just in time to see them all pushing and elbowing, each trying to be the first to pass through the portal and into the forensic lab. They managed to get through together somehow and resumed their frantic run until they spotted Margaret Fairstorm, Kit’s favorite forensic analyst. The old lady smiled kindly at them. “Hello, may I he –“

“Sam!” Emma yelled in her face.

Margaret seemed unfazed by Emma’s yelling. Kit assumed that she was used to it by now; Emma was an animal, really.

“Are you looking for Sam Firedart?” Margert asked her politely.

“Yes! Sam!” Mark and Jaime shouted in unison.

“Down the hall, third room to the left.”

The Shadowhunters resumed their frantic running, each trying to get to Sam first.

“See you!” Kit said to Margert and ran after the rest.

They reached the room in which allegedly Sam was in, and Christina knocked. Emma pushed her aside and barged in and the rest followed like a legion of Vikings on a conquest, yelling and pushing.

They came to a halt when they spotted a brown-haired young man in glasses. Sam was wearing his lab coat and holding an Erlenmeyer filled with blue liquid in one hand, and a pipette in the other. The Shadowhunters formed a circle around him.

Sam looked absolutely terrified; probably because he was surrounded by half a dozen Shadowhunters in full gear, marked with runes, and carrying various deadly weapons: swords (Kit, Emma, and Julian), butterfly knives (Christina), a bow (Mark), an axe (Jaime), and a meteor hammer (Dru had recently picked it up and she _loved_ it).

“Sam?!” Emma yelled.

“Yes…?” Sam looked around, clearly panicked. He didn’t seem to notice Kit amidst all the chaos.

“Move! I can’t see him!” Dru pushed her way to the inside of the circle. “Are you Sam Firedart?”

“Yes,” Sam’s voice trembled. “How may I help you?”

“He’s cute,” Dru commented.

Sam seemed taken about by her comment – or perhaps by the way she swung her meteor hammer from side to side.

“I’m Emma Carstairs, head of the LA institute,” Emma introduced herself. “This is my gorgeous husband, Julian, and those are Mark, Dru, Christina, Jaime - and Kit you already know.”

“Oh.” A flash of relief passed in Sam’s eyes as he realized that he was standing in front of Ty’s family. “Did you all come here to meet me because I’m seeing Ty?” he asked, switching his gaze between them.

“Wow, he’s smart!” Mark was impressed.

Kit snorted. “You guys are so –“

Jaime cut him off. “Since you’ve mentioned Ty – because _we_ didn’t, mind you – how is it going? Um… you know. I’m asking in a friendly manner.”

Sam looked terrified of Jaime. Admittedly, Jaime did have a few dozen daggers strapped on various locations, in addition to the monstrous-looking axe in his right hand. “I… I like him a lot,” Sam muttered, looking away.

_Of course you like him a lot, dumbass. How can anyone not like him? He’s kind and smart and he always says to most interesting -_

“And what are your intentions towards him, _friend_?” Julian emphasized the last word.

“I… I just…”

“And how do you define your relationship?” Emma asked, casually caressing the hilt of Cortana.

Sam’s eyes widened.

“Emma!” Christina sounded scandalized. “Don’t pressure the poor guy!”

“It’s fine.” Sam tried to smile. “I haven’t talked to Ty about it yet, but as far as I’m concerned – “

They all leaned in way too close, trying to catch every word coming out of Sam’s mouth. He took one step back, slightly worried.

“Yes…?” Emma urged him on.

“As far as I’m concerned I define him as my boyfriend.”

_Boyfriend._

_No._

_He can’t be Ty’s boyfriend. That’s… no. That’s not happening. None of this is happening._

“Awwwww,” Christina squealed.

“Ty has a boyfriend!” Dru sing-sang.

“Please don’t tell him I said that,” Sam pleaded. “I haven’t talked to him about it yet, and I don’t want to pressure him!”

Kit hated how thoughtful Sam was. He was so _perfect_ all the time. Fucking Firedouche.

“We won’t,” Julian assured him.

Sam exhaled in relief, then breathed in distress again when he realized they were all still looking at him expectantly.

“May I help you with something else?” he asked.

“Could you tell us about your family history? Any known mental health illnesses? Any criminal records?” Emma asked.

Sam looked mortified. “No, no – “

“Babe, stop it.” Julian looked at Emma. “We can just look it up in his file.”

“You’re so hot when you’re right,” she said before she leaped on him.

“Okay, time to go now,” Christina said, exasperated. “Come on, kids.”

She herded them outside, leaving Sam gaping after them, probably still trying to process what had just happened. Not one of the Shadowhunters remembered that they had originally meant to see Sam about a case.

“How cute is Ty’s boyfriend?” Dru shrieked when they stepped through the portal and back into the institute and headed together to the training room.

“Oh, so we’re calling him _that_ now?” Kit grumbled.

“I’m usually not into the nerdy type, but _damn_.” Emma nodded approvingly, dropping to the floor for some pushups.

“I can’t even be mad at you for saying that, babe,” Julian said. “He’s a keeper.”

“Are you guys serious?” Kit exclaimed. “He’s so… so… I hate him!”

“I agree with Kit,” Mark said, and Kit looked at him with loving eyes.

_Finally. Someone here is sane._

“I despise him for being simultaneously incredibly intelligent, yet effortlessly handsome.”

_What._

“He seems to make Ty happy,” Christina commented, jumping up and down to warm up. “Have you noticed how much he smiles lately?”

“He’s so nice.” Jaime sat on the floor and busied himself putting on ankle weights. “Do you think we can invite him over?” he asked, his eyes sparkling.

“We tolerate all Kit’s dates, and they’re not half as smart or nice,” Emma replied.

“Hey!” Kit exclaimed.

“The worst was Miley,” Dru said, stretching her hands above her head. “Remember when she commented that Julian’s cooking was excellent, then asked him for the recipe for ice cubes?”

“No, no, no. The worst was that girl with the dark hair,” Jaime argued. “Or have you forgotten that Ty told her he liked animals, so she asked him how long it took for a deer to become an elk?”

They all burst out laughing. “He told her that they evolve upon hitting level 28,” Dru recalled with tears in her eyes.

“As funny as it is, you are both wrong,” Mark said haughtily. “The worst was obviously Sophie. She told me that whenever she’s out of money she just takes another loan because that’s free money.”

“Oh my god you guys, do you remember when he brought Sophie-two, and then couldn’t even remember her name even though the last girl was called Sophie as well?” Emma smirked. “Man, that was embarrassing to watch.”

“Okay, very funny, ha ha,” Kit said dryly. “Now stop.”

They ignored him.

“I think the worst was Vladimir,” Christina said. “I mean, he sat down and told us that he got a flat tire, but a least only the bottom is flat. And then Ty tried to explain that the whole tire was flat, and Vladimir had a melt down and broke up with Kit on the spot.”

“Okay that’s enough,” Julian said, and they all became silent. Kit was grateful for Julian’s tact. That is until -

“The worst was Anahit. I know it and you all know it,” Julian continued. “She spent half an hour trying to convince us that the earth is flat and held in place by large lizard people.”

Kit grimaced as they all laughed. “It’s not like I was serious about any of them, so –“

“Hey,” Ty’s velvet voice cut off Kit’s reply, and made him forget he was even mad.

He had just entered the training room followed by Diego, both covered in ichor. Everyone fell silent.

“I got a text from Sam,” Ty said. “He says he met you today… all of you.”

“Yes,” Emma replied quickly. “We had a very important case and it we needed Sam’s help.”

“Which case?”

“Huh?”

“Which case?” Ty repeated.

“A very important one!” Mark hurried to answer the question. “We needed Sam’s help.”

“All of you?” Ty raised his eyebrows.

Kit was reminded of that night, four years ago, when he told Ty he punched a wooden board because he was angry. Ty had raised his eyebrows then and asked him if it made him feel better. For some reason, Kit had trusted Ty enough to let him heal draw an Iraze on his skin; that was the first rune he had ever gotten. Iraze are temporary and Kit had gotten a lot of them over the years, some drawn by him, some by others. But his permanent runes were only drawn by Ty. Kit wouldn’t let anyone else mark him forever.

“Yes, we all wanted to help.” Dru contributed.

“Why, what did he say about us?” Mark asked excitedly.

“Did he like us?” Christina shrilled.

Kit snorted. “You guys are pathetic,” he said irritably.

They all ignored him.

“Did he mention coming over to hang out with us?” Jaime added.

“What does that have to do with the case?” Perfect Diego seemed confused.

“Did he say that I’m his favorite?” Emma looked at Ty with sparkling eyes.

“Just read us the dreaded text, I can’t handle the stress!” Mark cried out.

Ty looked slightly taken aback by his family’s enthusiasm, but he took out his phone and read out loud.

“Hi Ty, hope your patrol went fine – “

“By the Angel, he hopes his patrol went fine!” Dru cried out. “So cute!”

“Get a hold on yourself!” Kit hissed.

Ty, however, seemed to share Dru’s opinion. The corners of his mouth rose slightly, and a faint blush appeared on his cheeks. Kit looked away quickly.

“Hi Ty, hope your patrol went fine,” Ty repeated. “Your family dropped by the lab today. They seem nice. I’ll see you tonight, can’t –“

He stopped, and Kit looked up at him again to find him blushing like mad. He averted his gaze again; it felt _wrong_ somehow.

“Can’t what? Can’t WHAT?” Emma yelled.

Kit forced himself to look at his own hands instead of at his best friend. By the silence that followed, Kit assumed Ty was busy blushing even harder.

“Can’t wait to see you. I miss you,” Ty said quickly.

The noise that followed nearly punctured Kit’s hear drums. Between Christina’s “aww” and Dru’s “ooooh”, Mark’s whistling, Diego’s “okay seriously, what am I missing?”, Julian’s “I approve of him”, and Emma’s general loudness – Kit could not hear himself think. Which might have been a good thing, because he didn’t want to know what his thoughts were about Sam’s text.

He walked out. He needed some quiet; the collective noise of the institute inhabitants was too much.

“Kit.”

He turned around abruptly to see Ty running after him. He came to a stop in front of him and said, “were they really nice to Sam? Because I know it wasn’t about a case.”

Kit studied his face. Ty looked concerned and Kit hated the way he was so protective of Sam. All of Ty’s gentleness and care used to be directed towards him.

_Stop! What is wrong with you?_

Ty can bestow his kindness on whoever he wanted to. He didn’t _belong_ to Kit.

“They all came because wanted to meet Sam,” Kit admitted. “But he handled it pretty well. I mean, he didn’t wet his pants when Emma yelled in his face. So, that’s a plus.”

Ty chuckled. “It does show character,” he said.

“Yeah,” Kit mumbled.

They remained silent for a few moments and Kit felt like he needed to say something else, but he didn’t know what.

“Kit, you like Sam, right?” Ty asked quietly.

“What?” Kit stared at him.

“You do like Sam… right?”

“Um… yes, of course,” Kit muttered. “Why would you think I didn’t?”

“For starters I met him because you refused to talk to him alone.”

_Oh, that’s right. It’s thanks to me that they met. Way to go, Kit._

“And you said that whenever he opens his mouth you simultaneously want to throw up and fall asleep,” Ty continued.

“I guess I did say that,” Kit mumbled. “But I… I think he’s nice. I mean, he makes you laugh, he gives you books, he sends you these – um – nice texts, he plans those great dates for you…”

_So basically, he’s perfect_.

“Yes,” Ty said quietly.

“But what does it matter if I like him or not? I don’t –“

“It matters to me.”

They remained quiet for a few seconds, until Kit’s stupid mind decided that it just had to break the silence and he heard himself say –

“Did you know that many insects voluntarily discharge blood in response to a threat? This behavior is called autohemorrhaging.”

_What?!_ Kit had no idea why he suddenly felt compelled to share his knowledge on the least sexy subject he had read so far in Ty’s encyclopedia.

_What what what what what what –_

“Yes,” Ty replied slowly. “It serves as a physical deterrent, for example by exposing the predator to noxious substances.”

“Yes.” Kit nodded.

“I have to go get ready,” Ty said. “I’m meeting –“

“Sam, yeah. Have fun.”

Ty left, and Kit leaned on the stone wall behind him, the breath rushed out of his lungs as if he just ran a marathon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled “TIL that all my entries are about Ty”. Get ready for Kit to react poorly to seeing Sam and Ty kiss, and to see some flashbacks from his and Ty’s history.
> 
> BTW the book that Kit is reading is real – it’s the Encyclopedia of Insects by Vincent H. Resh and Ring T. Carde, and yes, I did read a considerable amount of it for this story :)


	8. TIL that all my entries are about Ty

Kit woke up with very blurry memories from the previous night. He remembered that he went to a bar and got too drunk to drive home, so he texted Ty to pick him up. Ty came on his motorcycle and Kit remembered being ecstatic to see him even though he had just seen him a few hours previously. Ty had helped him make his way to the bathroom to throw up, then guided him to his bed, undressed him down to the boxers and tucked him in. Kit remember Ty laughing as he said some nonsense to him, until for some reason Ty had stopped smiling and told him that he needed to go to sleep. He then tucked him in and kissed his forehead like he was a child.

Usually when Kit was so hungover, Ty would come in the morning and make sure he woke up in time. Kit checked the time on his phone. Nine twenty-seven. Weird.

He went down, chugged some coffee, and headed to the training room.

“You’re late for training!” Emma barked at him.

“Or,” Kit said. “I’m early for lunch.”

“It’s all a matter of perspective,” Jaime agreed.

“You think you’re being funny?” Emma’s eyes flashed. “Come here. Let’s practice hand-on-hand combat.”

“You’re fucked, dude,” Dru said with pity in her eyes.

Kit stepped into the mat. Emma said something to him, but Kit wasn’t listening; he spotted Ty sitting in the corner, texting, a worried expression on his face.

Emma’s punch knocked the wind out of him and before he could react he found himself on the floor with Emma’s legs wrapped around his neck. Kit gasped for air, trying to wriggle himself free, until his vision became blurry.

_Ty_.

Emma released him just before he was about to pass out.

“Do a quick warm up, and then I want you back here for another try,” she commanded.

Kit got up, panting heavily, but instead of starting a set of jumping jacks or picking up a jump rope, he walked over to Ty.

His best friend had his headphones on, and his eyes were focused on his phone. Kit stopped a few feet away from him, so as not to cause him any stress. Usually, Ty would take off his headphones when he spotted him, but now he didn’t. Kit got the message and went to get himself a jump rope from the supply closet.

“Is he texting Firedork?” he asked Dru, trying to keep a disinterested tone.

“Probably,” she replied.

“He doesn’t look very happy.”

“Maybe Sam’s mad at him because he ditched him last night,” Dru mused.

“He did?”

“Yeah, to come get you.”

Kit frowned. Ty hadn’t mentioned being out with Sam last night. He turned to look at him again to find that Ty was gone. Maybe Kit should go after him and make sure that he’s okay. And then maybe go break Sam Firedouche’s nose for making his friend unhappy.

Kit headed out of the training room to look for Ty and nearly collided with Julian.

“I was just coming here to look for you,” Julian said. “A young mundane male was found dead in his apartment yesterday. His blood may show traces of demon ichor. I need you to go to the forensic lab.”

Kit cursed under his breath.

“Margaret will be waiting for you,” he continued.

“Thank fuck.” Kit exhaled. He was in no mood to see the maggot-lover.

He passed through the portal in Emma and Julian’s office and stepped into the lobby of the forensic lab then looked around, but Margaret was nowhere to be found. She was probably in the morgue already.

“Christopher, so good to see you,” Ravenscar, a kind middle-aged forensic analyst greeted him when he entered the morgue.

“You too.” Kit smiled at him. “I’m looking for Margaret, do you know where she is?”

“Either in the evidence storage room or at the analytical lab.”

“Thank you,” Kit said and headed towards the analytical lab.

He opened the door without knocking – he rarely did – and walked inside. He passed the rows of fume hoods, mass spectrometers, and chromatographs - he knew what all these machines did since Ty had explained it to him - and squeezed between two tables on which stood test tubes and beakers, quick and quiet as a cat.

And then he saw them.

Sam was standing in front of Ty, much closer that Ty would usually allow anyone else. Ty was speaking quietly, looking down at his shoes. He was taller than Sam, but when he bowed his head like that it made him look smaller somehow. Then Sam reached his hand and Ty took it. Kit stared at the way Ty’s hand, covered in runes and scars, clashed with Sam’s smooth, elegant hand.

Sam said something, too quiet for Kit to hear without a hearing rune. Ty nodded, a hint of a smile on his face, and Kit felt as if the temperature of the room had been lowered by a hundred degrees. And then Sam pulled Ty gently closer to him until their chests were touching.

Kit had to get out of there, but his legs weren’t obeying his brain anymore and so he just stood there like an idiot and watched as Ty pressed his lips on Sam’s.

Kit saw red.

He was going to strangle Sam FireFUCK. He was going to rip out his intestines and make a jump rope out of it for Emma to play with. He was going to take every beaker in this lab and throw them one by one at his stupid face.

Sam returned Ty’s kiss, opening his mouth under his. He pulled him closer and passed his hand through Ty’s black hair, pulling gently.

“Do you want to -?”

“Yes,” Ty panted and pushed him back.

He pinned Sam against the wall and began kissing his neck, and Sam’s hands found themselves on the button of Ty’s black jeans -

_What are you still doing here!?_ A little voice inside Kit’s head yelled.

Kit had achieved expert competence at stealth tests; he was able to pass undetected through well-lit rooms filled with breakable objects precariously balanced atop other breakable objects. But seeing Sam and Ty made him lose his focus, and when he turned around to leave he knocked down an Erlenmeyer.

It fell to the floor and crushed with a loud sound of breaking glass.

Sam jumped, startled, and Ty instinctively got into a fighting stance, pulling out the dagger strapped to his thigh and pushing Sam behind him.

Somehow, seeing Ty standing protectively in front of Sam to shield him from a possible attack was even worse than seeing them kiss. Kit tried to tell himself that it was just Ty’s natural Shadowhunter instinct that compelled him to protect mundanes, but something in the way that Sam peeked behind Ty’s shoulder made Kit want to kick something.

“Sam, I see you’re being a true professional,” he said dryly. “Were you checking Ty’s vital signs?”

Ty put the dagger back, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

Sam stepped forward, smiling politely. “Can I help you with anything?”

“I don’t know, can you?” Kit asked, irritated. “Or are you too busy trying to get into Ty’s pants?”

He had no idea why he said that; or why he was so angry for that matter. Ty seemed perfectly fine with whatever it was that Sam wanted to do. Also, as everyone kept reminding him, Ty is a Shadowhunter trained in Krav Maga (and four other mundane fighting traditions), it’s not like he can’t take care of himself.

“Are you here about a case?” Ty asked, his gaze focused on Kit’s shoulder, his eyes dark.

Kit ignored him and addressed Sam instead. “I do have one question for you, though,” he said. “How come you’re dating Ty? You got tired of making out with maggots, so you decided to try Shadowhunters?”

Ty looked furious. “Kit, do you have a case to discuss with Sam? Because if not, I want you to leave.”

“Fine!” Kit turned around and slammed the door behind him.

He charged forward without looking and bumped into Margert, nearly knocking down the old lady.

“Christopher, dear –“

“I’m sending someone else in my place,” Kit snapped at the poor woman and hurried to the portal.

He ran to the training room and found Jaime in the middle of his weight lifting sets.

“Jaime,” he panted. “Can you please do something for me? No questions asked.”

Jaime put the weights back, looking worried. “Whatever you need.”

“I need you to head down to the forensic lab to meet with Margaret.”

May the Angel bless him, Jaime nodded and left immediately.

*******

Kit hid away in his room to avoid unwanted questions from Julian regarding him being back so early.

The notebook that Ty had given him four years ago was waiting for him on his desk, opened on yesterday’s entry. Kit picked it up and began flipping through the pages. Almost half of his entries bore Ty’s name in the title.

“Entry 15: TIL that Ty’s favorite musical instrument is the piano”, when Ty had lent Kit his music player for the first time to help calm his nerves before his first mission, and Kit discovered that most of the music on it was piano pieces.

“Entry 74: TIL that Ty smells like the ocean”, when Ty had pinned him against the wall during a Jujutsu lesson, and they stood so close that Kit could feel the warmth of his body against his.

“Entry 217: TIL that Ty’s favorite tea is Lady Gray,” when Ty had a nightmare about Livvy and he woke Kit up in the middle of the night and asked him to stay up with him. Kit had made them both tea and they sat on the couch cupping their mugs, their ankles grazing, and talked all night long.

Kit didn’t want to look at those entries that had Ty’s name. He was still furious. Furious at Sam Firedork. Furious at Ty. And mostly, furious at himself, because he had no idea why he was so angry at Sam and Ty.

He flipped through the notebook again, focusing intentionally only on those entries that _didn’t_ have Ty’s name in them.

**Entry 1: TIL how to stand in a fighting stance**

“I can’t do this,” Kit said. “It’s not who I am.”

“You can open the institute door,” Ty pointed out. “You can bear runes. You have a natural fighting instinct. You _are_ a Shadowhunter. You know you are. So, what’s stopping you?”

“I’m… I’m scared, okay?” Kit admitted. “I don’t know – I don’t know who I am anymore!”

“It’s alright. I’ll help you figure it out,” Ty replied easily. “And I’ll train you. We’ll start simple. Today we’ll learn how to stand in a fighting stance. Does this sound okay?”

Kit looked at him, but Ty’s gaze was focused on his collarbones. Kit had noticed that Ty never made eye contact with anyone. He wondered if one day he would get to see Ty’s eyes starting back at him.

“Okay,” he muttered.

**Entry 3: TIL how to channel my anger**

“No, Kit, you’re not listening to me!” Emma scolded him. “Again.”

“Fuck that.” Kit threw his training sword in frustration and ran outside.

He found himself on the beach, cursing Shadowhunters, cursing the waves, and the shore, and the sun, and this entire terrible world.

“Kit.”

He turned around to see that Ty had followed him there.

“Go away!” he said irritably.

“No.”

“I can’t do this anymore!” Kit yelled at him, even though none of it was Ty’s fault.

“I understand,” Ty said softly.

“No, you don’t!” Kit lashed out. “You were born into this fucked-up life. I wasn’t!”

Ty stood there quietly, letting Kit take out his anger on him.

“You have your perfect little family and your perfect little future ahead of you,” Kit continued bitterly. “I have nothing!”

“You have me.”

“That’s bullshit. You don’t even know me!” Kit yelled louder still.

“I know you a little bit,” Ty replied in a small voice. “I know that you’re smart. I know that you’re funny. I know that your favorite cookies are chocolate chips. I know that you never let people see your weaknesses, because your father told you that they will take advantage of you. I know that you miss your father. I know that you loved him. I know that you’re scared of being a Shadowhunter. But I know that deep down, you want to be. I know that you’re my friend. And I know that there’s still so much about you that I don’t know – but I want to learn.”

Kit stared at him. He had no idea what he had done to deserve Ty’s friendship; but he knew that this was the one thing in his life he was not going to screw up.

“I’m just… I’m so angry,” he admitted.

“You don’t have to repress it,” Ty told him.

“But I can’t focus on anything!”

“Channel your anger,” Ty said. “Use it to make yourself better every day.”

**Entry 59: TIL how to draw an Iratze**

“We have the day off,” Ty said. “Do you want to go to the beach with me?”

Kit lifted his eyes from the dreadful Shadowhunter Codex. “Yes, please. Anything to get away from this.”

They walked along the water, and Ty laughed as Kit made sarcastic comments about Shadowhunter life. They climbed the rocks and Ty commented on Kit’s lack of balance, so Kit gave him a playful shove. It caused Ty to stumble forward. He blocked his fall with one hand, but the sharp edge of the rock cut deeply into his skin.

Kit’s paled when he saw the blood gushing out of Ty’s deep wound.

“I’m sorry, Ty, oh my god,” he said frantically. “Fuck I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s alright,” Ty reassured him. “It’s a good opportunity for you to practice drawing an Iraze.”

“You know that I never managed to do that!” Kit cried out. “I’ll go call someone.”

“No, stay here,” Ty said, pulling him back down with his non-injured hand. “Try.”

“Are you insane? You’re bleeding! I’ll go get –“

“I trust you.”

Kit’s hands were shaking as he took his stele out of his pocket. The blood kept running from Ty’s wound as he took his hand and began tracing the rune. It looked weak and disappeared almost immediately.

“I’m sorry, oh my god, I’m sorry,” Kit started to panic.

“It’s okay. You just need to focus,” Ty said patiently. “Channel the Angelic power.”

Kit drew the rune again, trying to steady his trembling hands, focusing, focusing, focusing…

The wound started to close in front of his eyes, and Kit exhaled in relief.

“See?” Ty said happily. “You can draw a great Iraze.”

Kit studied his face with fascination; Ty rarely smiled and Kit had learned to cherish those rare occasions on which he did.

They sat down on the rock, staring at the water, and Kit felt at peace for the first time in what felt like forever.

“It’s kind of nice,” he said. “We should do it every Sunday.”

Ty grinned. “Deal.”

**Entry 212: TIL how to fall without breaking my face**

“It’s like you’re not even trying!” Emma shouted at him. “Come on! Jump!”

Kit was perched on a rafter, looking down at her. “No! It looks so much higher from up here!”

“Babe, don’t pressure him.” Julian came to stand beside her. “He’ll jump when he’s ready.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “We’ll all be dead by then.”

“Well, I don’t want to be dead _now_ ,” Kit argued.

“What are you guys doing?”

Kit looked as Ty walked over to Emma and Julian, in full gear, having just returned from a mission.

“We’re trying to persuade Herondale to jump,” Emma said.

Ty looked up at Kit. “Do you want to stay up there?” he looked confused.

“No, I just don’t want to break my face!”

“Oh,” Ty smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.”

Had anyone else said it, Kit would have told them to kindly fuck off because there was no way he would trust anyone to catch him. But it was Ty, and for some reason Kit trusted him more than he trusted himself.

“Okay,” he said slowly. “I’m jumping.”

Without thinking twice, he let himself fall off the rafter. For a fraction of a second his heart stopped beating as he was freefalling – and then he was caught in Ty’s arms.

“See? It’s not that scary,” Ty whispered in his ear. Kit was shaking slightly, and he was glad that Ty hadn’t put him down yet.

“That’s because you were here,” Kit mumbled into Ty’s neck.

“I’ll always be here if you need me too.”

“Are you two fused together now?” Emma asked irritably. “Put him the fuck down and let’s go again.”

“Em, I think it is best that we should let Ty teach Kit how to fall,” Julian said gently. “Ty, could you -?”

Ty put Kit back down. “Sure. I promise, Kit, by the end of the day you’ll be able to block your fall.”

 

**Entry 517: TIL that some werewolves are real douchbags**

Patrolling duty with Ty was always fun. They were walking at ease, and Kit listened attentively as Ty described in great detail the latest case he was working on - fascinated as always by the way that Ty’s mind worked - when they heard yelling. They ran towards the sound to find a group of werewolves beating a small pixie.

“Stop that!” Ty yelled.

He had almost caught up with the werewolves by the time that Kit had realized he wasn’t by his side. Kit ran after him.

“Fuck off, Nephilim,” one of the werewolves spat at Ty’s feet.

Ty did not back down. “Leave him alone!”

“Shadowhunters don’t involve themselves in internal affairs of downworlders.” another werewolf snickered. “We are not hurting any mundanes, so you have no jurisdiction.”

To emphasize his words, he kicked the pixie in the ribs.

“Leave, now!” Ty yelled, looking absolutely crazed.

“Or else we’ll cut off your tongues and shove them were the sun don’t shine,” Kit added quickly, trying to sound menacing.  The truth was, he was just afraid they were going to hurt Ty and he hoped that his words would scare them away.

One of the werewolves took one step towards Ty – and Kit lost it. He took out his sword faster than he had ever done in his life and slashed through the werewolf’s chest. Blood gushed from the wound and the werewolf snarled at him, ready to attack.

“Break it off,” one of them said quickly. “We don’t want to mess with dirty Nephilim.”

The werewolves ran away, leaving the pixie behind. Ty crouched next to him, checking for injuries, then Kit saw the pixie flap its wings and fly away.

“I don’t understand why they would do that,” Ty said, shaking. “He was small. He couldn’t defend himself. I don’t understand.”

Kit put a hand on his shoulder. Usually, Ty wouldn’t let people touch him. But lately he seemed not only okay with Kit’s touch, but even calmed by it.

“You make this world a better place,” Kit said quietly.

 

**Entry 997: TIL that Jace is an okay guy**

Magnus had come to open a portal and take Kit to New York, where he would stay a for a month. It was Clary’s idea, he suspected. She was the one who made Jace call and invite him to spend time with them.

Kit wasn’t looking forward to it. He liked being at the LA institute. He liked the Blackthorns, he was fond of Jaime, he grew accustomed to Perfect Deigo’s perfect perfection, and he was almost not scared of Emma anymore. But mostly – he liked being with Ty. Kit’s world was a chaos, and Ty’s world had rules and order. He calmed the turmoil in Kit’s mind.

Additionally, this visit was bound to be awkward. Everyone put so much pressure on him and Jace to get along just because they shared some DNA. But really, each time they met, an uncomfortable silence would stretch between them and Kit wanted to hit himself in the face with a morning star just to have something to do.

“I’ll be back in one month,” he told Ty. “ _Exactly_ one month.”

Ty nodded. They didn’t talk about it, but in Ty would turn eighteen in exactly one month. Kit was anxious; Ty hated his birthday. He used to celebrate it with Livvy, blowing candles on a cake that Julian baked for them, getting presents from the whole family, holding Livvy’s hand and wishing her a happy birthday. Now it was another reminder of the empty void that was left inside him when she died.

Ty had spent his last birthday locked in his room, refusing to see anyone. Kit spent the day sitting outside his door, listening to him cry, completely at loss as to what he could do to make things better.

“I’ll be back in exactly one month,” Kit repeated his promise before he stepped into the portal.

Seeing Jace was just as awkward as Kit had anticipated. He ate dinner with the members of the New York institute, and most of it was spent in an uncomfortable silence, broken only by Clary who tried to make polite small talk. Jace tried to ask him a couple of questions, too, but gave up quickly, having only gotten short, dry answers from Kit.

“You’ll probably spend the entire month training. That’s all Jace does.” Clary laughed. “Well, that and playing the piano.”

Kit turned abruptly to stare at Jace. “Wait, you play the piano?” he practically yelled in his face.

Jace looked slightly startled. “Yes,” he said slowly.

“Can you teach me?” Kit asked him. “Please?”

For the first time since Kit had arrived in New York, Jace gave him a real grin. “Sure.”

They developed a routine, only broken by the occasional mission or patrol duty. They would wake up early and train in hand-on-hand combat until noon. After lunch they would devote two hours to ranged-missile combat or sword fighting. The evenings would be dedicated to piano lessons. Jace had taught Kit how to read notes, how to glide his fingers on the keys, and how to coordinate his hands.

Kit would practice until midnight. Every day, without fail.

“You’re really serious about this,” Jace commented one day, having found Kit practicing for the fifth hour straight.

“I need to know this song perfectly by the time I go back to LA.”

He could feel Jace’s gaze on him as he passed his fingers over the ivory keys.

“Why?” Jace finally asked.

Kit could have stayed silent; Jace wouldn’t have been surprised by his lack of answer. But somehow these piano lessons made Kit want to open up to him, one step at a time.

“Because the piano is Ty’s favorite musical instrument.”

Jace was quiet for a while, and Kit knew that he understood.

“But why this song?” Jace asked quietly. “Don’t you want to start with a simpler one?”

“It has to be this song.”

It wasn’t much of an answer, but Jace did not press any further. They remained silent after that, Kit practiced the song again, and Jace corrected him every now and then.

At the end of the month Magnus went to LA, per Jace’s request, to get Ty. Kit wanted to show him the New York institute, he said.

Kit waited nervously for the portal to open.

“I missed you,” he said when his best friend passed through. “I really, really missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” Ty said quietly.

Kit gave him a tour of the institute. The training room, the weapons room, the library (which, unsurprisingly, was Ty’s favorite room), the sleeping quarters, the botanical garden that Jace had told him used to belong to his old professor.

Finally, Kit turned to Ty. “Tomorrow’s your birthday.”

They never acknowledged that fact out loud. There was an unspoken rule at the institute that when Ty’s birthday came around no one would mention it.

“I hate my birthday,” Ty said, almost angry.

“I know, but… I have something for you. Please, can I… just, please?”

Ty hesitated, but finally nodded, and Kit exhaled in relief.

He guided Ty to the piano room and watched as Ty passed his fingers slowly over the lid.

“Sit next to me,” he said. “Please.”

Ty obliged, looking puzzled.

Kit took a deep breath to calm his nerves. He had been practicing this song for more than one hundred hours total. This was it. It had to be perfect.

Without saying a word, he began. The notes of “Part of Your World”, the song from the Little Mermaid, echoed in the room. Kit could feel Ty shift slightly next to him, his breathing heavy. Kit knew how much that song had meant to Ty. He poured his heart into the performance he put for him, his hands gliding over the keys, saying more than he could ever had with words.

_I miss her too._

_I understand._

_You mean everything to me._

When the last note died out, he turned to look at Ty. Tears were running down his cheeks.

“It was her favorite movie when we were kids,” Ty whispered. “She made me watch it every day.”

Kit reached a hand to wipe out a tear. “I know,” he said softly.

Then his entire world had shifted, and crashed, and burned, and was reborn again – because for the first time, after almost three years of close friendship, Ty made eye contact with him.

Kit stared, mesmerized, as Ty’s eyes looked back at him, pure and honest. When he had first met Ty, Kit had categorized his eyes as “gray”. After a while, he got to think of them as silvery, the color of a polished dagger. But now, as those eyes looked back at him, he could see swirls of a blue moonstone. Ty’s eyes were a direct mirror to his soul. They spoke of love and of grief. They spoke of courage. They spoke of wonder.

They were beautiful.

“Thank you,” Ty muttered.

“Happy birthday,” Kit whispered back.

*******

Kit slammed the notebook shut.

_It’s weird_ , he thought. _All my entries are about Ty, even the ones that don’t specifically state so._

******

Two hours later, Kit figured that it was safe to leave his room. He felt an urge to throw things, so he settled on going to the training room to throw some daggers.

The training room was empty, and Kit relished on the silence. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone.

He threw the daggers, one by one, as hard as he could, not really caring whether they hit the target at the center or not. When his hands were empty, he took freed them from the target and started again.

One, two, three…

Kit turned around abruptly when he heard footsteps behind him.

_Ty_.

Kit looked at him. Maybe he should have apologized for his behavior; but he was still inexplicably furious. So, he remained stubbornly quiet.

Ty’s hands were fluttering at his sides, closing fists and opening again. “Why are you so mean to Sam?” he asked.

“What are you talking about? I’m delightful,” Kit said lightly then turned back around to the target.

“Stop it, Kit. I’m being serious.”

“As am I,” Kit said casually before throwing the last dagger.

He was about to go and take out the daggers for a new round, when Ty grabbed his wrist and turned him towards him abruptly. They were facing each other, only a few inches apart, and Kit could smell the musky scent of Ty’s cologne.

He looked up and for a moment he was mesmerized by Ty’s delicate features. His pale skin. His full, red lips. His long, dark eyelashes, fluttering on his cheek. Kit’s heart beat quickened as Ty parted his lips -

“I like him,” Ty said. “A lot. So, why are you so rude to him? I have always been courteous to _your_ dates. Why can’t you do the same for me?”

Kit was taken aback. “I… I -”

“Unlike you,” Ty cut him off. “I don’t switch partners every other Tuesday. Sam means a lot to me. Why can’t you be a good friend to me like I am to you?”

“He’s just… I don’t know,” Kit said weakly.  
“It was you who insisted that I start seeing someone, wasn’t it?” Ty’s voice was cold.

“Yes,” Kit mumbled.

“I told you it was not easy for me. That it might be too much work,” Ty continued. “But you insisted.”

“I did.” Kit didn’t dare to look up. Ty was so close, Kit could almost feel his gentle breath on his face. Ty’s proximity never bothered Kit, but now it made him slightly nervous.

“Well, I finally found someone who’s worth the work. Someone I actually like,” Ty continued. “So, what’s your problem? What more do you want from me?”

Kit tried to free himself and turn away, but Ty pulled him closer until their faces were only inches apart. “I don’t… I - ”

“What more do you want?” Ty repeated the question.

Kit remained silent. Ty put his free hand under Kit’s chin and forced him to look up.

“What more do you want, Kit?” he asked again, exasperated. “What do you want?”

What _did_ he want? Kit had no idea. He felt disoriented by Ty’s cologne and the warmth of his body, angry at Sam for putting his hands all over Ty, furious at himself for not being supportive of his best friend. He was right; he was slowly descending into madness.

“Nothing, Ty, I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “You’re right. I haven’t been a good friend and you deserve better. I’ll be nicer to him, I promise.”

“Thank you,” Ty breathed.

He still hasn’t released Kit’s wrist and for a moment they stood there facing each other. Kit’s heart beat so fast, he was beginning to wonder if Ty could hear it.

Ty always had this enchanting effect on Kit, and he wasn’t even aware of how much power he had over him. Ty had no idea, but he could manipulate Kit like a puppet if he wanted to. He could make him euphoric with his presence alone or break with him a single word.

“My… hand,” Kit heard himself say.

He could have broken free easily; Ty wasn’t even holding him tightly anymore, just gently circling Kit’s wrist with his hand. Still, Kit stayed there, feeling the warmth of Ty’s hand and focusing on his scent.

Ty looked startled. “What?”

“You’re… you’re still holding my wrist,” Kit mumbled.

Ty released him immediately. “Yes. Of course. Sorry,” he muttered, then left the room in a hurry without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titles “TIL that I’m in love with Ty”.  
> Get ready to cringe as Mark embarrasses himself again, to exhale in relief as Kit finally realizes what we’ve known from the start, and to watch as an interesting method to cope with a broken heart is employed.


	9. TIL that I’m in love with Ty

Kit was revisiting his notes in ancient Greek in the library, trying to translate a text for a case he had been working on. He was so absorbed, he didn’t even notice Ty coming to stand next to him.

“Hey.”

Kit lifted his eyes immediatly to look at him, but instead of saying hey back like a normal person, he blurted out –

“Did you know that the bodies of cat-flees are covered with short spines directed backward which permits forward movement through hairs on the host’s body?”

He had already gotten to the letter C in the insect’s encyclopedia, and apparently his brain thought that it might be a good idea to share the knowledge he gained by reading the entry on _Cat Flees_.

“I didn’t know that,” Ty replied, looking slightly surprised.

“Well, now you do,” Kit said awkwardly.

“Now I do,” Ty agreed.

They were silent for a moment, and Kit wanted to ask if Ty had forgiven him for the way he had acted when he saw Sam and him kissing in the lab. Instead he kept quiet.

“I invited Sam home for dinner tonight,” Ty finally said.

Kit already knew where this conversation was headed. “I’ll behave. I promise.”

*******

Julian and Christina took over the cooking while Dru and Jaime brought out dish after dish, and Mark and Kit set the table. Mark even went as far as to fold the napkins into little swans, which Kit found extremely annoying.

“It was a pleasure, as always.” They heard Kieran tell Emma.

“Hey, Kier, why don’t you stay for dinner?” she asked.

Mark turned towards them abruptly. “Yes. Do stay.”

“We even have swans made of napkins,” Kit added. “If you don’t stay I’ll burn them all in hellfire.”

“I can’t let you do that,” Kieran said solemnly. “I like swans.”

“Everyone does.” Kit nodded. “It’s ducks you should be weary of.”

“What is it with you Herondales and ducks?” Emma wondered out loud. “I hear Jace has the same complex.”

“Ducks are – agh dammit!” he yelled when he dropped a glass on his foot. It shattered on the impact, and Kit had tears in his eyes from the pain. “Fucking hell!”

Gentle as always, Christina brought a broom and swept the shards without saying a word.

“Are you cranky because Sam’s coming for dinner?” Emma asked Kit.

“No,” he said irritably.

“I know you are,” she insisted. “Is it because you’re jealous of him for being so smart? I already told you. We’ll always love you.”

“Wow. Thanks, Emma.”

“Maybe I’ll bring my boyfriend too, sometime?” Dru asked, carrying a glass bowl filled with quinoa salad.

Kit glanced at Jaime. He looked miserable.

“They’re here,” Perfect Diego announced. “It’s adorable, I saw them from the window. I think they were holding hands.”

And just like that, every bit of civility that was left in Kit had vanished, and all that remained was this angry, frustrated man that he had become lately. He didn’t know what was going on with him - and he didn’t want to know. He just wanted this terrible feeling to end.

They all sat down at the long, rectangular table, and for the first time, Ty didn’t take a seat to Kit’s right. Instead he sat down with Julian to his left and Sam to his right. Kit sat between Jaime and Perfect Diego, having been chased away by Mark from his original spot next to Kieran.

Julian and Christina had prepared some traditional Mexican food, which on a regular day Kit was sure he would have enjoyed, but now with Ty on the other side of the table it just tasted stale.

“So,” Christina began. “How did you two meet?”

“Kit was working on a case with Sam, and he asked me to come with him,” Ty replied.

Kit did not particularly like the reminder that he was the one who introduced Ty to Firedork.

“We talked about books and then I asked him out,” Sam continued.

“I get why you bonded over books,” Dru said. “Ty reads a lot.”

“And which books do you like?” Julian asked.

“ _I_ like poetry books,” Mark interrupted Sam’s reply. “In fact, I write some myself.”

“Oh, no,” Jaime whispered to Kit. “I think he’s about to do something stupid.”

“Let’s create a diversion,” Kit whispered back. “Quick, set the table on fire.”

Before Jaime could consider this seriously, Mark had already stood up and taken out a small notebook from his pocket. He then began reciting.

_“Kieran,_

_In my dreams we run_

_Towards the setting sun_

_And we have fun_

_Kieran,_

_You don’t have a grandson,_

_Or a water gun,_

_But still, to me, you are someone.”_

He sat back down again, grinning at Kieran.

For a few moments they were all silent, and Kit, who had covered his eyes with his hands when Kieran began reciting, dared to peek between his fingers. He registered Julian’s uncomfortable expression, Sam’s clear shock, Ty biting his lower lip, and Mark’s flushed face.

Kieran did not bother to fill the void with a non-comital statement of appreciation. Kit suspected that this silence was a cruelty he inflicted intentionally. He rolled his eyes with the weariness of one who is fatigued with the foolishness of a small child.

“So, Sam, which books do you like to read?” Jaime quickly asked Sam, to minimize Mark’s embarrassment. Kit exhaled through gritted teeth.

“I read mainly biographies, but I do read novels every now and then.”

Perfect Diego’s eyes sparkled. “So smart,” he whispered to Kit.

_Seriously?!_

“Do you have a recommendation?” Christina asked Sam.

“I really liked ‘The Great Gatsby’” he replied.

Kit snorted. “The only good thing about that book is how short it is.”

Sam turned to him. “It provides a critical view of America’s society after World War I,” he said coldly.

For a second, Kit considered letting it go. Finally he decided to answer.

“If you really want to gain an understanding of America’s society after the World War I, you should read ‘The Sun Also Rises” by Hemingway,” he said, trying his best to keep a civilized tone.

Emma choked on her chilaquiles. “Wow, Kit, I didn’t know that you could read.”

Kit ignored her. “The people who grew up during the war were considered to have been decadent and irretrievably damaged by it. Thus, they were named the Lost Generation. But Hemingway shows their struggles and argues that they were in fact strong. Additionally, the book studies themes of love and death and the ability of nature to revive the human soul – which, if you have read ‘The Old Man and the Sea’ - you know how well he describes.”

The table went quiet. They were all used to Kit’s sarcastic remarks and his unsavory escapades. No one had expected him to have such strong opinions about books, or to argue his views so eloquently. Kit had never let anyone see this side of him. Excluding Ty, of course. He had no secrets from Ty. Not intentional ones, at least.

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised you like Hemingway.” Sam smirked. “You do have a lot in common with him.”

Kit knew perfectly well what Sam was getting at; Hemingway was notorious for being a heavy drinker. He stared down at his plate, embarrassed.

Julian, tactful as always, quickly changed the subject. “So, Sam, tell us about your childhood in Philadelphia.”

Conversation flowed easily for the rest of the evening between the members of the institute, Kieran, and Sam, but Kit did not join it. He spent the entire time staring at his plate, avoiding eye-contact with the rest, and feeling inexplicably sorry for himself.

Finally, Sam and Ty got up.

“I’m taking Sam home,” Ty told Julian, and Kit lifted his eyes to look at him.

“Thank you for dinner,” Sam said politely.

“It was very nice seeing you again.” Julian smiled at him.

The rest echoed Julian’s words, and Sam turned to leave. Ty gave Kit one last look before he followed his boyfriend.

Around Kit, the Shadowhunters and Kieran resumed their merry chatter. There were people, and colors, and sounds, and smells, but Kit’s mind did not process any of it. It was only focused on Ty, the image of that one last look he gave Kit before he left etched into his mind.

Because when he looked into those eyes, he saw the whole universe in them. His whole universe was in Ty.

And he finally realized.

_I’m in love with him._

It all made sense now.

This was what was wrong with him. All this anger. The jealousy. The confusion. The search for a meaning. The answer was in front of him all along, he was just to blind to see it.

He had belonged to Ty from the start. He had never connected with anyone else, he had never wanted to spend time with anyone else, he has never cared about anyone else.

Ty had enchanted him from the moment he put a dagger to his throat, and Kit’s only thought was how beautiful Ty was. Since then, Ty’s power on him grew. He could make Kit do whatever he wanted. He could make him stay at the LA institute and become a Shadowhunter; he could make him jump from rafters; he could make him laugh; he could make him cry; he could make his heart flutter with the smallest touch; he could light up any room with his presence alone; he could make Kit forget the rest of the world with a simple look.

How blind he had been. It was Ty all along.

“I’m in love with Ty.”

The noise around him had died out abruptly and Kit realized he had said it out loud.

They were all starting at him. _Why is it so hot in here?_ Kit wanted to throw himself into a ditch somewhere and disappear. The silence stretched for a few long moments, so heavy Kit could almost feel it pressing against his skin.

The quiet was finally broken by Dru, who said “And…?”

“And what?” Kit stared at her.

She blinked. “You… didn’t finish your thought,” she said slowly.

“That _was_ my thought!”

Dru looked confused.

“Honey, I think Kit had just realized it,” Christina said carefully.

“Really?” Emma snorted. “Congratulations, then. You’re officially the last one to know,” she said, before adding “expect Ty, of course.”

Kit gaped at her. “Wait, you all knew?”

There was a collective nod.

“Then why didn’t you tell me!?” he cried out.

“We thought you knew,” Dru replied cautiously. “I mean, it’s so obvious.”

“No, it isn’t!”

“Dude, you cancel dates to be with him,” Jaime said.

“You learned how to play the piano for him,” Julian added slowly.

“You read an entire bug encyclopedia for him,” Mark pointed out, which was unfair because Kit was only at the letter C.

“You wallow with your ice cream and your Bridget Jones whenever he goes out with Sam,” Dru said.

“You barge in on their dates,” Emma reminded him.

“You stare at him. A lot,” Kieran added.

“He is the only person you have ever referred to as _beautiful_.” Christina proved, once again, how perceptive she was. “Everyone else is _hot_.”

Everyone looked at Perfect Diego.

“What?” He looked around. “Oh, I’m supposed to make an observation? Well, let’s see, you… um… you always pass him the salt when he asks for it at dinner. That’s… um… very polite. Yes.”

Kit said down, defeated. “I can’t believe it. I’m in love with him.”

Perfect Diego patted his shoulder awkwardly.

“I’m so fucking in love with him!” Kit yelled. “How could I have been so stupid?!”

“I honestly don’t know,” Jaime said. “We thought you knew. We really did. We figured you’re not trying anything because… well, you know…”

“I love him, and I can’t do anything about it because of that Firedouche!” Kit buried his face in his hands, miserable and broken. “I can’t believe I lost Ty. I lost him. I lost him.”

“No, no,” Emma said. “You’re just upset because you’re looking at this all wrong. Think of it like this: you can’t lose something you never had. It’s not Sam’s fault - even if he was out of the picture, you and Ty still wouldn’t have been together, so it doesn’t matter.”

“Emma!” Christina hissed.

“What? It’s true. We all love Kit, but he is frivolous and outgoing and, honestly, kind of loose. Ty would never date someone like that. He wants someone who can actually _be_ in a serious relationship, someone deep, and educated, with whom he can have meaningful conversations and not –“

“Emma, that’s enough!” Julian cut her off.

Still, the uncomfortable silence that followed made it clear; they all agreed with her.

“I guess I _am_ jealous of Firedork, huh?” Kit laughed bitterly. “Bet you’re really glad, Emma.”

“Why would I be glad?”

“Because you’ve been saying that all along.”

But to his surprise, Emma didn’t rub it in his face. She wasn’t even smiling. Instead, she got up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders and rested her chin on his head.

“What I’ve been saying all along is that we’ll always love you,” she said softly.

*******

Kit was tossing and turning in his bed, unable to sleep. He loved him. He loved him so much it hurt.

He had never felt so miserable and insignificant in his entire life. There he was, desperately in love with his best friend, who didn’t see him as anything more. They were right. They were all right. Ty would never fall for him.

Mostly, Kit was ashamed of himself. He had said so many stupid things to Ty over the years. He had told him about insignificant one-night stands. He had told him that relationships are a waste of time. He would get drunk, and then he would say those stupid things to his best friend.

He cringed as he remembered Emma and Julian’s wedding, the way they danced together, his hands on Ty’s broad shoulders and Ty’s hands on his hips. And the stupid words that came out of his mouth.

_No relationship should last longer than a month. After that, it’s practically marriage. And who in their right minds would want that?_

Even if, originally, he stood a chance – he had ruined it over the years with his childish behavior.

His reflections were cut off when someone knocked on his door.

“Kit, are you awake?” Jaime whispered.

“What the hell, Jaime?”

That was confirmation enough for Jaime. He crossed the room in three long strides and lay next to Kit.

“Get out of my bed.”

Jaime didn’t move. “I couldn’t sleep,” he said quietly.

Kit sighed. “Me neither.”

They stared at the ceiling in silence.

“I love her,” Jaime said quietly.

“I think I’ve always loved him,” Kit said, his voice trembling slightly.

“Why does everything suck?”

“I don’t know.”

They remained silent. Kit’s heart still felt as though it was slowly cracking open with every passing second, but having Jaime lying next to him made him feel slightly better.

There was another knock on the door.

“Kit, are you awake?” Mark whispered.

Kit smiled in the dark. “Yeah, and so is Jaime. Come in.”

Mark sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Why can’t I get it right with him?” he asked miserably. “I really do love him.”

“Because everything sucks,” Jaime summed up their situation.

“Why are _you_ upset?” Mark looked at him, puzzled.

“I’m in love with your sister. She doesn’t love me back. Everything sucks.”

Mark hummed in agreement. “There’s only one thing we can do,” he said solemnly.

Kit nodded. “Drink until we pass out.”

“No.” Mark shook his head. “We’re going to build a pillow fort, then sit inside and eat cookies.”

And so, they did. Kit got chocolate chip cookies from the kitchen and then they stretched sheets between Kit’s desk, two chairs, and the bedstead. They laid pillows and blankets on the floor and lay inside their fort.

Kit took a cookie, hoping that it would make him forget how miserable he was, if only for a second. “Dru’s still dating the mundane, huh?”

“Yeah.” Jaime bit into a cookie. “I hate him.”

“I hate Firedouche,” Kit muttered.

“I love Kieran,” Mark said.

Jaime squinted his eyes. “Get out! This fort is for people that have no hope, and you do. Kieran is not seeing anyone.”

“That’s even worse,” Mark argued. “He’s not seeing anyone, and he still won’t give me a chance.”

“You know what the worst thing is about Firedouche?” Kit said angrily. “The fact that I can’t even hate him, because he’s actually a really good guy and he makes Ty happy.”

“That’s rough,” Jaime said. “He really _is_ great. Fuck that guy.”

“Yeah!” Kit yelled. “Fuck that Firedick!”

Jaime laughed. “I could get on board with calling him Firedork and Firedouche, but Firedick just makes it sound like he’s legendary in bed.”

“Oh, god, please don’t.” Kit cringed. “The last thing I need right now is to think about Sam’s prowess in bed.”

“Here, have another cookie.” Mark handed him the container.

Kit took another cookie and bit into it a little too hard.

Jaime sighed heavily. “Why is she so beautiful?”

“To taunt you, probably,” Mark replied.

“We kissed… once.”

Kit turned to look at him. “What? When?”

“A few months ago.” Jaime exhaled. “At that party we went to, when you made out with that vampire chick.”

“Never again,” Kit muttered. “But how is this the first time I’m hearing about this?”

“Because it wasn’t like _that_ ,” Jaime said sadly. “While you were off having indecent relations with the vampire, Dru and I were dancing together and then… she kissed me. She was drunk, and she had no idea what she was doing so I stopped her. But I still think about it all the time. How lame is that?”

Mark sighed. “I think about Kieran’s kisses all the time.”

Kit remained quiet. He didn’t allow himself to even think about kissing Ty. If he started he would never be able to stop.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he said instead. “But Mark, you might actually still have a chance with Kieran. Even though you embarrassed yourself for years on end.”

“I screwed up.” Mark shook his head regretfully. “I was cocky. I broke up with him because I wanted to see what else is out there, and I was so sure that he would wait for me when I was done. And you know what I found out? That no one out there compares to him. And then he wouldn’t take me back.”

“Don’t give up,” Jaime said. “Your plans are always stupid, and mostly you end up humiliating yourself. But one day, one of them might actually work and it will be worth it.”

“Maybe I should write him another poem.”

“No, please,” Jaime said quickly. “No more poems. That was hard to watch.”

“I wrote a poem just now,” Kit said. “It’s about my recent epiphany. Can I share it with you guys?”

Jaime nodded. “I’ll allow it.”

Kit straightened himself and began reciting a paraphrased version of the Humpty Dumpty Rhyme.

_“Kit Herondale sat on a wall,_

_For Tiberious Blackthorn he had a great fall._

_And all the world’s cookies,_

_And all handsome men,_

_Will never put his heart back together again.”_

He finished reciting and slouched back down, succumbing to his misery.

Mark stared at him, impressed. “Not bad.”

“Very moving,” Jaime agreed gravely. “But do tell me, have you always thought of yourself as an egg?”

They looked at each other and burst out laughing, and for a fraction of a second Kit almost forgot how miserable he was.

There was another knock on the door, and then Kit’s heart skipped a beat as Ty peeked inside.

“What are you doing?”

If someone else had asked that question, Kit’s first instinct would have been to give a sarcastic reply. But it was Ty, so Kit gave a truthful answer.

“We built the fort of sadness, and now we’re sitting in it and eating cookies.”

Ty cocked his head to the side. “The fort of sadness?”

“Yes,” Mark said gravely. “It’s for sad people to sit in and be miserable together.”

“Why are you sad?”

“Because I’m in love with Kieran but he doesn’t love me back.”

“Oh,” Ty said thoughtfully. “And why are you sad, Jaime?”

“Because Dru’s the perfect woman, and she’s dating someone else.”

Ty remained quiet for a moment, before turning to Kit. “And you?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you sitting in the fort of sadness?”

Kit studied Ty’s beautiful features.

_Why am I sitting in the fort of sadness? I’ll tell you why. Because you’re my everything, and I’m just a friend to you. Because you found someone that makes you happy, while I will never want anyone else but you. Because I’m miserable and angry and ashamed._

“Because Julian won’t buy me regular ice cream anymore, only low fat.” Kit said instead. “He says I developed an addiction.”

Ty seemed slightly confused. “I’ve never seen you eat ice cream.”

“Maybe,” Jaime began. “By some weird coincidence, you keep missing it because Kit only eats it when you’re out with Sam.”

“It would be a very weird coincidence indeed.” Kit tried not to let his bitterness show.

“Do you want to sit down with us?” Mark asked. “We’ll let you in, even though you’re not sad.”

Ty didn’t say anything in response. He just sat down quietly next to Kit and took a cookie.

“Chocolate chips are your favorites,” he said. Kit didn’t know what to say in return, but it seemed that Ty wasn’t waiting for a reply.

“They’re pretty good,” Jaime agreed. “Kit, pass me another one.”

“Anything for you, princess,” Kit said in a low, suggestive voice.

Jaime took the cookie, unaffected as usual by Kit’s flirting, but next to him Ty shifted slightly.

“It’s my favorite form of camping,” Jaime said. “Indoors. Just as men should be.”

“You’re so sexy when you’re right,” Kit whispered seductively, wriggling his eyebrows at him. “Let’s go at it. Right here, right now.”

Jaime hit him in the face with his pillow. “Stop it! Now you sound just like Emma and Julian.”

They all laughed, even Ty, and Kit did his best to look away. Usually, Kit could not get enough of the way that Ty laughed - the way that it brightened his whole face, as if he could light up the night. Now it was just painful to see.

They stayed in the fort, talking and laughing and almost forgetting their misery, until Mark and Jaime fell asleep.

Kit and Ty lay next to each other, staring at the blankets above them, and Ty took Kit’s hand in his.

“Are you really here in the fort of sadness because of the low-fat ice cream?” he whispered. “I… I couldn’t tell if you were joking or not… earlier.”

Ty’s hand was warm, and Kit wished he would let him go because his touch made the pain inside him a million times worse.

“No,” Kit replied honestly. “There are other reasons.”

“What reasons?”

“I want to be someone else.”

“Why?”

“I would be happier not being me.”

Ty interlaced their fingers. “I don’t want you to be someone else. I like you just the way you are.”

“I like you, too,” Kit whispered.

They used the same word; but the meaning each had attributed to it was completely different.

“Are there other reasons?” Ty asked.

“It’s late. We should go to sleep.”

They lay in silence afterwards, their fingers still interlaced.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled “TIL that Ty is falling in love with Firedouche”. Get ready for Jaime to lose it, and for Kit to deduce an unpleasant fact.


	10. TIL that Ty is falling for Firedouche

Kit hadn’t been drinking last night, but when he woke up his head was throbbing as if he had. For a second, he considered hitting the snooze button and go back to sleep for another ten minutes, but he decided against it. Sleeping for another ten minutes meant that he might come down for breakfast after Ty and then he wouldn’t be there in time to make his coffee. As irrational as it was, Kit _had_ to make his coffee or else the last piece of sanity would leave him.

“Good morning.” Christina smiled at him when he entered the kitchen.

A quick scan revealed that Ty hadn’t come down yet. He sat down next to Jaime.

“Look alive,” Jaime whispered to Mark. “They finished their meeting.”

“What’s your plan today?” Kit asked.

“Back to flirting,” Mark answered.

“Oh no.” Dru shuddered. “Not those pickup lines a –“

“Thank you, Kieran.” They heard Julian’s voice.

“The pleasure was all mine.” Came Kieran’s polite reply.

“Want to say hi before you go?” Kit could see Mark perk up at Emma’s suggestion.

Kieran entered the kitchen followed by Emma and Julian.

“Good morning,” he said with a small bow.

They all echoed after him, and Mark jumped to his feet. “Kieran,” he panted. “Good morning.”

Kieran did not bother a polite smile. But before Kit could be offended on Mark’s behalf, Mark opened his mouth.

“You dropped something.”

Kieran looked confused. “What?”

“Your standards,” Mark replied. “Give me another chance.”

Kieran did not even blink. “No.”

“Okay seriously,” Dru whispered. “ _Where_ does he find those pickup lines?!”

Apparently, Mark was not ready to give up. He licked his finger and touched it to Kieran’s shirt.

“Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” he said with a wink.

Next to Kit, Jaime inhaled between gritted teeth. Kieran seemed ready to slap Mark, and for a moment Kit was genuinely concerned.

Julian seemed to have noticed the threat as well and he quickly said “Kieran, let me walk you to the door.”

They left, and Mark sat back down, defeated for what was probably the hundredth time.

“Maybe next time,” Jaime said gently.

“Yeah,” Mark said quietly. “Maybe next time.”

Julian came back and took a seat next to his wife. They were all there now, except Ty.

Kit turned to Emma. “Where’s -”

“He’s meeting my informant for the demonic drugs case,” Emma said. “She was adamant about meeting with him and not anyone else.”

Kit wasn’t surprised. Everyone knew that Emma’s informant had a major crush on Ty. Kit cursed under his breath. He was suddenly craving ice cream again.

“On another matter,” Emma continued. “You seriously need to shave.”

Everyone turned to look at Kit, and he could feel their stares studying his face. Emma wasn’t wrong; he hadn’t shaved in a week and had rough stubble growing on his chin, cheeks and upper lip area.

“I’m growing out a beard,” he replied tonelessly.

“Huh,” Jaime said. “Why?”

“Because I’m in love with Ty, he has a perfect boyfriend, even if he didn’t – he still wouldn’t want me. So, who the fuck cares anymore?”

“Huh,” Jaime said again. He looked slightly worried.

Emma squinted her eyes. “Ty told me once that there could be other universes besides our own,” she said. “And so, my question is: Is there a parallel universe in which you don’t make stupid decisions?”

“I can assure you that there isn’t,” Kit replied solemnly. “I’m doing stupid shit in every universe. I bet there’s one in which I’m raising a pet rock.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Dru agreed. “There’s probably also one in which you have a tattoo of your own name on your arm.”

“Exactly. Now.” He glared at Julian. “I’m going to open this freezer, and I really hope – for your sake – that I’m going to find some cookie dough ice cream in there, and not that stupid low-fat crap.”

“You’re going to be disappointed, then,” Julian said apprehensively.

Kit cursed and took the entire container of the low-fat ice cream to the table. He opened the lid violently and dug in.

“Kit, you might want to –“

“No.”

“But – “

“No.”

“Okay then.”

Kit demolished his ice cream, ignoring the worried glances the rest were giving him.

“I want to go look at the crime scene again for my eidolon case,” Christina broke the silence. “Check if I missed any clues. Could one of you take my patrol tonight?”

“I’ll do it in exchange of one of your toasts,” Dru said. “Also, Perfect Diego, why do you only make them for Christina?”

Perfect Diego remained suspiciously silent.

“Thank you,” Christina said with a smile.

“I thought you were meeting your boyfriend.” Jaime tried in vain to mask the bitterness in his voice.

Dru looked down at her plate and Kit wondered if this was what _he_ looked like whenever he tried to avoid everyone’s gaze during meals which he spent pinning after Ty and trying not to be too obvious.

“We broke up,” Dru finally said in a low voice.

The appropriate response would have been “I’m sorry to hear”, which was what Kit was about to say, but Jaime cut him off.

“Finally,” he said triumphantly.

Dru’s eyes flashed dangerously. “Excuse me?” she said, her voice rough.

Kit sincerely hoped that Jaime would correct his mistake, but instead -

“I said, _finally_ ,” Jaime repeated.

“You’re such a jerk!” Dru yelled.

They were all staring at them now, expect Perfect Diego who opened his newspaper and pretended to read.

“ _I’m_ a jerk?” Jaime gaped at her. “ _You’re_ the jerk!”

“Wow.” Emma looked extremely confused. “What’s going on?”

Dru got up from her chair. “Are you being serious right now?”

Jaime got up as well. “Damn right I am!”

“You know what? Screw this!”

With that she left the table and ten seconds later they heard the front door open and then slam shut again.

“Okay,” Jaime said. “Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.”

Kit slapped the back of his head.

“Ow! Why did you do that for?” Jaime stared at him.

“Go after her, you idiot!”

“Go… after her?”

Kit got up and pulled Jaime to his feet by the collar of his shirt. “Go after her and tell her how you feel! Do it now, or else I swear to every deity out there that I will smother you in your sleep.”

“Dammit I’m doing it!” He said, looking crazed, and ran after Dru.

“You know he’s not going to tell her like a normal person,” Perfect Diego commented casually. “He’s about to do something stupid.”

“For the love of fuck.”

Kit took a moment to curse, then took off after Jaime. The rest followed them outside and came to a halt on the front steps.

For a second, they were all quiet, trying to grasp what is happening, until the whirring of an engine cut through the silence and Dru’s car slid from its spot.

And then Jaime ran full-speed and threw himself on her windshield.

Dru stopped the car. “Are you insane?” she yelled. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Don’t go!” he said frantically.

Dru opened the window and peeked outside. “Move!” she said irritably.

He slid off the hood of her car and stood there, blocking her way.

“No.”

“Move or I’ll run you over!” Dru yelled.

“No!”

“I’ll run you over. I meant it!” She revived her engine to emphasize her words.

“I believe you!” Jaime shouted, yet he remained planted where he was.

For a second Kit thought that Dru was going to back up the car and hit him in full-speed, but then Jaime lifted his hands in a placating gesture.

“Dru, do you remember our kiss?”

“Move!”

“Do you remember it?”

“The hell with that Jaime, why would you bring that up?”

“Because I can’t stop thinking about it!” Jaime yelled. “Dammit, I can’t get this out of my head! I can’t focus on anything else. For months, I haven’t been able to focus on anything else!”

Dru turned off the car and got out, slamming the door behind her angrily.

“I don’t know what you want from me!” she shouted. “You were the one who said that he didn’t want it to be like this!”

“ _Like this_ as in, I didn’t want you to kiss me because you’re drunk and I’m the closest guy around!”

“I wasn’t drunk!”

“Yes, you were! You chugged down about five margaritas!”

“ _Virgin_ margaritas! I had patrol with Emma in the morning!”

Jaime froze.

“Wait, so you really did want to kiss me?” he asked, his voice trembling slightly.

“Yes, you idiot!”

“Then why have you been avoiding me for months?!”

“Because I can’t keep doing this whole _friend_ thing when I have feelings for you!” Dru shouted. “Can’t you see that?!”

“I’m in love with you!” Jaime shouted back. “Can’t you see _that_?!”

Dru stared at him.

Jaime stared back.

“You… you are?” Dru finally asked, her voice strangled.

“Insanely in love with you! You didn’t really think I came here because of Diego?”

Next to Kit, Emma whispered “ouch”.

“None taken,” Perfect Diego muttered.

“I came here for you. Initially, because you became my best friend. And then, one day, I found myself in love. I’ve never met someone like you, Dru. You’re beautiful, you’re funny, you’re insane in the best way possible. Those last few months without you were killing me. I tried to switch my patrols, so they would coincide with yours. I tried to get you to spend time with me in any way possible. I was miserable and lonely without you. I kept trying to figure out how to make you talk to me. I ate cookies inside a pillow fort while thinking about you –“

“What?”

“Long story,” Jaime said. “Just… please, Dru, believe me. I love you. I love you so much.”

For a moment they stood there, looking at each other, and then Dru pulled him by the collar of his shirt and kissed him.

At first Jaime didn’t move, clearly in shock, but he quickly regained his senses and wound his arms around her, pulling her close. And then he kissed her back. Again, and again, and again.

“Guys,” Christina suddenly said. “Don’t you think that it’s kind of weird that we’re all standing here watching them kiss?”

They all turned to look at her.

“We should go,” Julian said quickly.

“Yep.”

*******

Kit turned a page in his Hebrew textbook. Julian had wanted him to take the test for an intermediate level knowledge in languages, and for that he needed to learn another ancient language used in religious writings, in addition to the Latin and ancient Greek he already knew fairly well.

“Do you need help with that?”

Kit lifted his eyes from the book. Ty’s hands were concealed inside the pocket of his hoodie and his headphones rested around his neck. He looked so _Ty_ and Kit’s stomach clenched painfully.

“How did it go?” Kit asked. His voice sounded too high for it to be natural. He wondered if Ty heard it too.

“She was very helpful,” Ty replied. “Though she kept commenting about my biceps and shoulder muscles. I ended up giving her tips for her training routine.”

Kit laughed. “I don’t think that that’s what she was getting at.”

Ty seemed confused but didn’t ask for a clarification. Instead, he sat down next to Kit and studied his face, and Kit’s heartbeat quickened.

He kept staring at him intently and Kit became self-conscious. “What?” he asked, slightly nervous.

Ty lifted his hand slowly to touch his face and Kit’s heart skipped a beat. Gently, Ty passed his fingers over Kit’s cheeks and trailed them over his jaw, a concentrated expression on his face.

Kit understood.

“I’m growing out a beard,” he explained.

“Oh.” Ty stared at him thoughtfully. “Like a Viking?”

“Yeah, okay.” Kit smiled wearily. “Like a Viking.”

Ty’s fingers were still moving slowly on Kit’s cheek. He had always liked to feel textures he found interesting. Kit let him, surrendering himself to his touch, even though it meant something completely different for each of them.

Ty put his hand back in the pocket of his hoodie and Kit mourned the loss of his proximity. They sat in silence for a few minutes, and Kit figured that Ty was done talking. He picked his textbook again and forced himself to concentrate, to no avail. Ty’s touch seemed to have turned his mind into a wasteland of incoherent thoughts.

“Kit?” Ty suddenly said.

Kit jumped. His stupid brain decided to draw out another entry from the encyclopedia. “Did you know that – “

“How do you know when you’re in love?”

Kit stared at him. “W-what?”

“How do you know when you’re in love?” Ty repeated.

Kit’s brain followed the words down a deep, dark rabbit hole. He blinked rapidly, bringing himself back to Earth with a thump.

“I think you should address this question to Jaime,” he said without looking at Ty. “While you were out, he professed his love to Dru and it worked out pretty well for him.”

“That’s nice.” Ty seemed genuinely happy. “Does this mean he won’t sit in your fort anymore?”

“I hope so,” Kit said sincerely. “Maybe he’ll build the fort of happiness and he’ll invite you to visit.”

Ty laughed, and Kit averted his gaze. He picked up his textbook again and tried to focus.

“How do you know when you’re in love?” Ty asked again. He wasn’t going to let it go.

Kit lifted his eyes from the book. “I might not be the best person to ask this,” he said slowly. “I never fell in love with anyone I dated.”

_I only ever fell for you._

“Really?” Ty studied his face.

“You know me. I don’t do serious relationships.” Kit avoided his gaze. “Why, did Sam…?”

“Yes,” Ty muttered. “He said he was.”

“And did you say…?”

“No,” Ty replied. “I told him that I needed some time to think about it. He was very understanding. He said I could take as much time as I needed.”

“Oh.”

Kit should have left it at that, but this masochistic part of him had to ask. “Do you think that you are?”

He held his breath waiting for Ty’s answer. Hoping, wishing, praying that Ty would say no.

“I like him a lot,” Ty said slowly. “I think I might be falling in love with him… I don’t know. It’s confusing.”

And just like that, Kit’s entire world shattered around him.

Ty was falling in love with Sam. He might say that it’s confusing, but Kit knew him well enough to know that he will figure it out soon enough. And then…

Ty was autistic. He didn’t say more words than were necessary, he struggled to express himself, he avoided social situations. Those things made other people think that he didn’t feel emotions as strongly.

It was the exact opposite.

Ty felt things more deeply than anyone else, not less. And sometimes he would feel emotions _too_ intensely and get overwhelmed. Just as Ty could shut down from sensory overload due to being overwhelmed with noises and smells because they were more intense for him than they were for other people. Ty experienced everything more strongly, from physical senses to emotions. And now Ty was falling in love with Sam.

Kit wondered if Sam knew how lucky he was; to be loved by a boy who could love like no one else could.

“Yeah,” Kit managed to say, as if his heart wasn’t just shattered into a million pieces. “That’s… That’s great. Really, really great.”

*******

It was 2 AM, and Kit lay wide awake on his bed, crumpled and miserable.

For the first time in years, he broke down crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled “TIL that I should leave Ty alone”. Get ready to see Kit and Ty pretending to be a couple for a mission. Here’s a small preview:  
> ***
> 
> “The perps of the drug case are supposed to meet at this gala tonight,” Ty said. “Emma wants us to go as a couple and gather intel.”
> 
> “Go… as a couple?” Kit choked.
> 
> Ty stared at him. “Yes,” he said slowly. “The usual.”
> 
> It _was_ a usual request. When perps were meeting at high-end events, Shadowhunters would pretend to be regular mundane guests, and since mundanes usually attended these events with their romantic partners, the Shadowhunters would pretend to be a couple as well. Kit had already went to two such mission with Dru – during which Dru made it very clear that if Kit tried to kiss her, even for the sake of the mission, she would chop his equipment clear off – and one such mission with Jaime – which Kit had spent murmuring suggestive words in his ear, more and more obscene as the night went on, until finally Jaime’s whole face was flushed and he whispered “Dios mío, you’ll send us both directly to hell with that dirty mouth of yours.”
> 
> Still, as usual as this request might be, it was Ty; pretending to be a couple with _him_ would be absolute torture.


	11. TIL that I should leave Ty alone

Kit woke up in the middle of the night, freezing. When he glanced at the sleeping figure next to him he quickly realized why; Ty had hogged the blanket again.

Kit vaguely remembered going out alone last night. He sat at a bar and ordered one Old Fashioned after another, ignoring the girls that smiled at him and the guys that wanted to buy him a drink. He just wanted to get properly hammered; and Julian would not let alcohol inside the institute.

Aiming to numb himself, Kit ended up drinking too much. He stumbled out of the bar and texted Ty to come get him.

Ty carried him up to his room but when he tried to put him down, Kit embarrassed the hell out of himself, clinging to Ty and begging his best friend to let him sleep in his room. Ty was too kind to refuse and so he let Kit sleep in his bed again. While it was not the first time this had happened, it was the first time since _the epiphany_ , as Kit came to call his realization of his hopeless and unrequited feelings towards his best friend.

Kit studied Ty’s face. His pale skin reflected the faint moonlight and his lips were slightly parted. He was tangled in the blanket, looking just… adorable. How had Kit never realized this before?

Still freezing, he tried to gently pull some of the blanket without waking Ty up. His efforts failed, however, since Ty was pulling it tight against him. It only left Kit one option if he wanted to stay warm, and if he was being honest with himself - he didn’t particularly _hate_ this option.

He snuggled against Ty, feeling the warmth of his body, and drifted back to sleep.

*******

When Kit woke up again he cursed the rays of sun which clearly traveled 150 million kilometers to earth only to spite him. His eyes focused on a tall, lean figure.

“It’s already two,” Ty said quietly. “I didn’t want to wake you before, but Emma needs us.”

Kit sat up, rubbing his eyes. He glanced at Ty; he was so beautiful Kit could feel his heart clenching painfully in his chest. He averted his gaze quickly, choosing to stare at his own hands instead.

“The perps of the drug case are supposed to meet at this gala tonight,” Ty continued. “Emma wants us to go as a couple and gather intel.”

“Go… as a couple?” Kit choked.

Ty stared at him. “Yes,” he said slowly. “The usual.”

It _was_ a usual request. When perps were meeting at high-end events, Shadowhunters would pretend to be regular mundane guests, and since mundanes usually attended these events with their romantic partners - the Shadowhunters would pretend to be a couple as well. Kit had already gone on two such missions with Dru – during which Dru made it very clear that if Kit tried to kiss her, even for the sake of the mission, she would chop his _equipment_ clear off – and one such mission with Jaime – which Kit had spent murmuring suggestive words in his ear, more and more obscene as the night went on, until finally Jaime’s whole face was flushed and he whispered “Dios mío, you’ll send us both directly to hell with that dirty mouth of yours.”

Still - as usual as this request might be - it was _Ty_ ; pretending to be romantically involved with _him_ would be absolute torture.

“Isn’t anyone else available?” Kit asked, trying to sound casual.

Ty’s shoulders tensed. “Did I do something to you?”

Kit’s eyes widened. “Why would you think that?”

Ty took out a little squishy pig toy from his pocket and began playing with it nervously.

Kit had given him that pig as a joke about a year ago, after Ty had told him that he eats like he was raised in a pigsty.

“Now I can always be in your pocket,” Kit had said, handing the little pig toy to Ty.

Ty smiled as he took it from Kit’s hand. “I’ll call him Topher. Short for Christopher.”

“Why not call him Kit, then?”

“There is only one Kit,” Ty had said very seriously.

Ever since, Topher the pig was always in Ty’s pocket, taken out when he was feeling nervous. Kit had not seen the squishy pig in a long time; probably because Sam was so good at keeping Ty calm.

“You’ve been avoiding me lately,” Ty said, closing and opening his fist around Topher. “And now you don’t want to go on a routine mission with me.”

“No, I do! I do,” Kit said quickly. “I was just tired, that’s all.”

Ty studied his face carefully, and Kit was unsure if he believed him or not.

*******

The gala dinner was classed as a black-tie event, and so Kit put on a three-piece navy-blue suit paired with a formal tie. Anxiously, he checked and rechecked his reflection in the mirror. His hair looked decent, and his beard was coming along nicely. But… what if Ty didn’t like the beard? He didn’t say he liked it. He also didn’t say he _didn’t_ like it. What would he prefer? Maybe Kit should shave it off?

 _Ty would be too busy thinking about Sam to care about my beard_ , Kit reminded himself glumly.

He broke his gaze from the mirror and went downstairs to wait for his best friend.

“Looking sharp,” Dru commented when she saw him.

Jaime put his arms around her and kissed her cheek before addressing Kit. “Nice suit.”

Normally, Kit would have given him a flirty answer along the lines of “this suit will look even better on your bedroom floor” but he was too nervous about spending the evening with Ty to consider it.

And then things got so much worse because Ty came down the stairs wearing a black suit that emphasized his shoulders, paired with a gray tie that brought out his eyes, and Kit could not do much expect stare with his mouth hanging open.

Jaime elbowed him. “Get a hold on yourself,” he hissed.

“Do I look okay?” Ty asked.

Kit blinked rapidly. He could swear Ty was walking in slow motion; and why was there wind blowing through his hair? The window wasn’t even open. Kit was losing it.

“Kit!” Jaime whispered.

Kit blinked again. “Ready – ready to go?” he managed to say.

“Do I look okay?” Ty asked again, looking slightly worried.

 _You look beautiful_ , Kit wanted to say. He _wanted_ to - but he couldn’t; that was not something one could say to his best friend who happened to be in love with a certain Firedork.

The silence stretched on until Dru came to his rescue. “You look great, Ty-Ty. You’ll both blend right in.”

*******

The gala was held at a luxurious 5-star hotel and Ty seemed mesmerized by the lagoon pools and reflection ponds that completed the serenity of the lush gardens that surrounded the hotel. Kit could not care less about any of it; Ty was the only thing worth looking at.

They waited in line to get in, holding their fake invitations, and Kit forced himself to break his gaze. Nothing good could come out of this night. Kit would fall even more in love and then he might do something stupid that would ruin their friendship.

The ballroom was huge, revealing lavish furniture and fabrics, enormous chandeliers and a theme of Greek décor. The venue was filled with hundreds of people; the men dressed in tuxedos or suits, and the women in elegant dresses.

Ty took him by the arm, and Kit’s heart skipped a beat.

“Let’s dance.”

Kit swallowed. “D-Dance?”

“Yes. We need to blend in.”

Ty guided him to the dance floor and put his hands on his waist. Reluctantly, Kit put his hands on Ty’s shoulders and tried to focus his thoughts on anything except Ty. The decoration of the venue, the people dancing around them, the music. Anything. Anything but the man he loved.

Still, he was bitterly reminded of the first – and only – time he and Ty had danced together.

*******

Weddings are fertile ground when it comes to picking up women (or men). With so many happy couples around them, single people often feel sad about not having a someone and, after a few drinks, become completely open to being seduced by an amazing guy – which Kit happened to be. And thus, Kit was very glad to be here, at Julian and Emma’s wedding, surrounded by so many hot Shadowhunters.

“Weddings are so romantic. Just look at how happy Emma and Julian are,” Kit told the girl he was talking to, wiping a fake tear. “Agh, I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

“Don’t be,” the girl said. “I think it’s adorable.”

“I’m Kit, by the way,” he said.

The girl giggled. “I’m Vanessa.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Vanessa.” Kit smiled.

The wedding band began playing a slow song.

“Let’s dance,” Vanessa said.

Kit was about to say yes, when he saw Ty sitting at their table, clearly overwhelmed by the noise and the people around him. Forgetting completely the girl in front of him, Kit walked over to him and gave him his hand with a flourish.

“Shall we?”

Ty looked at him suspiciously. “Shall we _what_?”

“Dance.” Kit smiled.

“You want to… dance… with me?”

“I believe that’s what I just said.”

Ty looked mortified. “But I don’t know how to dance!”

“I’ll teach you.”

“I think that girl you were talking to already knows how.”

“But I want to dance with _you_ ,” Kit insisted. “Please?”

“There are so many people here. What if they laugh at me?”

“They won’t,” Kit assured him. “They will be too busy being jealous of you for dancing with the most handsome guy here.”

Ty chuckled. “Fine.”

Kit gave him his arm in a gentleman-like manner, and Ty took it, smiling nervously. Kit escorted him to the dance floor and put his hands on his shoulders.

“Put your hands on my waist,” he said easily. “No, a little closer.”

Ty pulled him closer and for a brief second Kit was fazed by the familiar smell of his musky cologne.

“Is that okay?” Ty asked anxiously.

“Perfect.” Kit grinned. “Now we’re going to do a step touch.”

Ty winced. “That sounds complicated.”

“Let me remind you that you taught me Brazilian jiu-jitsu, Krav Maga, Taekwondo, Muay Thai _and_ Karate. And I was a very dedicated student, wasn’t I?”

“You were.”

“Okay then. Now’s your turn.” Kit smiled.

Ty had always been a quick learner. Half a song later, he had already caught the hang of it – only stepping on Kit’s feet twice in the process. He seemed visibly more relaxed, and even broke into a grin as he twirled Kit around.

“Those girls over there keep looking at you,” he whispered in Kit’s ear as he caught him and pulled him closer.

The tingle of Ty’s gentle breath in his ear sent a shiver through Kit’s spine. He turned his head slightly to look at the direction Ty nodded towards.

“I’m pretty sure they’re looking at _you_ ,” he said with a smile. “Your leading is great. You should ask one of them to dance.”

“I’ll leave this to you,” Ty simple said.

“Oh, come on.” Kit pouted. “You need to get out there. Here, check out the girl in the green dress. She’s cute and she keeps trying to smile at you.”

Ty averted his gaze. “I’d rather dance with a man.”

“Ah.” Kit had never stopped to consider that Ty might be gay. “Okay then, we’ll look for a hot guy.”

“Not tonight. I’m not ready yet.” Ty bit his lip. “I’m not like you, Kit. I want to have a serious relationship – when the right man comes along.”

“Not me,” Kit said. “I am a devotee of the philosophy that no relationship should last longer than a month. After that, it’s practically marriage. And who in their right minds would want that?”

“Emma and Julian seem very happy.”

“That’s because they’re _insane_ ,” Kit replied.

The song ended, and Ty dropped his hands to his sides. “Go back to the girl you were talking to earlier. You’re wasting your time with me.”

With that, he left the dance floor. His place was immediately taken by the brunette girl – Kit was pretty sure her name was Valérie - who wound her hands around him.

“I’m only human,” Kit said as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t know how many sunrises I have left.” He looked down. “So, I try to make each one count. And there is nothing I could think of that would be better than spending the next one with you.” He looked back up with a shy smile.

“That was beautiful,” she said. “Do you want to go somewhere more quiet?”

 _Wow, that was a great pickup line_ , Kit praised himself mentally. _I’m definitely using that one again._

The girl – Valencia, right? - took him by the hand and guided him away. He caught one last glance at Ty, sitting alone at the table, before the girl – Victoria, was it? - pulled him behind the bushes.

*******

Kit wished that someone would invent a time-machine so he could go back and kick himself in the ribs.

_You idiot. You dumb, stupid, fucking idiot._

If he had understood. If he had not wasted his time hooking up with people he barely remembered. If instead he had realized that he wanted to be Ty’s all along – he might have stood a chance.

He would have stayed with him at Emma and Julian’s wedding, because that girl Kit now barely remembered was not worth leaving him alone. He would have courted him. He would have taken him to places, open doors for him, brought him books (because Ty would hate flowers).

He would have asked him out on a date. Repeatedly. And maybe Ty would have given him a chance, and Kit would have planned the perfect date. He would have made sandwiches and taken him to the national desert park at night, where they could have gazed together at the stars. He would have brought a telescope and memorized astrophysics facts to tell Ty, and Ty would probably already know them because he’s Ty, and then he would look at the stars and Kit would look at him because he’s a million times more beautiful.

If Kit had not been a complete idiot, things might have been completely different. Maybe Ty would see him as more than his stupid friend who tends to drink too much and hook up too much.

And maybe Ty’s first kiss wouldn’t have been with Sam. Maybe it would have been with Kit.

But now every chance he might have had was ruined.

“Kit?” Ty’s voice cut off his internal hateful monologue. “Are you listening to me?”

“What?”

“I said – those men in the corner, the one with the gray suit and red tie, and the one with the black suit and the purple tie – I think they are the ones we were looking for.”

“Okay, I’ll keep an eye.”

“Don’t forget, we’re just here to gather intel.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not about to take out my daggers and ran amok.”

“Good.” Ty smiled. He then pulled Kit closer to him. “Let’s keep on dancing. I have a good view of them from here.”

Kit swallowed. Keep on dancing with Ty… He could do that. He just needed to void his mind and not allow himself to think about what he truly wanted.

Ty pulled him closer again, and the smell of him made Kit dizzy. “Stop pulling away,” Ty whispered. “We’re supposed to be a couple!”

 _A couple_.

Ty and he are supposed to be a couple tonight. They were supposed to be everything that Kit had ever wanted; just him and Ty. Together. The thought tore Kit’s heart apart. Still, he didn’t pull away. Instead, he let himself get dangerously carried away.

“Yes, we’re supposed to be a couple,” he whispered back. _Me and you._

He pressed his nose to Ty’s collarbone. Ty must have been cold, because he shivered slightly when Kit nuzzled him there. Kit let his hands travel until they reached Ty’s hair and tangled a black strand between his fingers, pulling gently.

“That’s… That’s convincing,” Ty choked.

They were close, almost nose to nose, and Kit cupped Ty’s cheek, smoothing his thumb back and forth against soft skin.

“Is that okay?” he asked. To him, it was perfect.

“Yes,” Ty muttered. “That’s… that’s great.”

And then it was just the two of them, and the whole world could burn, and Kit wouldn’t have noticed. The only thing to know about was Ty. The feeling of Ty’s soft hair between his fingers. Ty’s scent, so familiar yet so intoxicating. Ty’s large hands on his waist. Ty’s chest pressed against his.

Before he could stop himself, Kit brushed his lips on Ty’s neck. His skin felt soft under his lips, and his scent made Kit feel dizzy in the best way possible. He had never let himself think about kissing Ty; and now that he had – even if it was only a quick brush on his neck – he was sure that he would never get over it. He would just keep thinking about going it again and again and -

Ty swallowed and pulled slightly away, and Kit had realized what he had just done. At loss as to what to do, he decided to simply ignore it.

They kept dancing in silence, close enough that Kit could still feel the warmth of Ty’s body against his. He wished the night would never end; that he and Ty could forget the world and keep dancing together forever.

He tried to glance secretly at Ty and found him looking at him back. They both averted their gaze when their eyes met.

“Your beard makes you look like Thor,” Ty finally said.

“Is that good or bad?”

Ty smiled. “Good.”

Kit’s heart skipped a beat. Ty thought his beard looked good… and the thoughts came racing in his mind: Did he just like the beard, or did he find Kit to be good-looking? He had never said so. Not seriously, at least. Did he think that Kit was _unattractive_? Not that it mattered, as he wouldn’t date Kit because of his personality, but still…

“It’s nice,” Ty said, cutting Kit’s frantic train of thoughts.

“What is?” Kit asked, alarmed.

“Dancing together.”

Kit’s heart fluttered in his chest. “It is,” he breathed.

_Is it possible that…? Is Ty feeling something too? It can’t be just me. There’s something between us. A spark. A burning -_

“Maybe I should take Sam dancing sometime.”

The spell had shattered, and Kit was painfully reminded that whatever this was, it wasn’t real. Ty and him. They weren’t real. Ty had a boyfriend and Kit was nothing more than a friend.

“Yeah,” Kit forced himself to say. “Maybe.”

Ty suddenly stiffened. “They’re on the move,” he said.

He was halfway across the dance floor when Kit snapped out of his dark train of thoughts. He ran after him and caught up with him outside.

It all happened so fast Kit’s brain could barely register it.

It was a trap. The perps figured out Kit and Ty’s identity and headed outside where backup was waiting; a dozen eidolon demons leaped on them the moment they stepped outside. Ty drew his Seraph blade and began fending off the attackers, and Kit quickly did the same, but in the chaos of the fight he couldn’t keep his eyes on Ty. Kit leaped and stabbed and tore flesh until his suit was covered in demon ichor and in his own blood, and he was the only one standing.

He was the only one standing.

“Ty!”

Ty was collapsed on the ground, his face white and his eyes unfocused. Deep cuts covered his chest and arms and he seemed to have suffered a serious head injury.

“Ty, please, stay with me,” Kit begged him.

He took his stele out and drew an Iraze on his skin but the wounds didn’t seem to be closing, indicating a demonic infection.

Kit called for backup, then tried drawing Iraze after Iraze, watching helplessly as they faded without taking effect and begging Ty not to leave him.

*******

“He’s going to be okay,” Julian said softly. “The silent brother arrived in time.”

Kit bit the inside of his cheek so hard he could taste blood. It was his fault. It was all his fault. If he wasn’t caught up in his thoughts - if he had been more aware of his surroundings - he would have realized that something was wrong, and he could have kept Ty safe. And now Ty lay unconscious in the infirmary, and it was all Kit’s fault.

Quick steps echoed in the hallway and then Sam stormed into the infirmary.

“Is he okay?”

“He will be,” Julian said quietly. “I will leave you.”

He squeezed Kit’s shoulder in a fatherly manner before leaving.

Guilt ridden, Kit didn’t dare to look Sam in the eyes. He let Ty get hurt. It was all his fault. He dipped a small towel in a bowl of water and wiped the sweat off Ty’s face.

“I’m sorry,” Kit whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

Sam made a sound like a growl and crossed the room in large strides.

“I should be the one doing this,” he pulled the towel from Kit’s hand. “I’m his boyfriend.”

“But I’m his best friend!” Kit objected.

“Some friend you are,” Sam snorted. “Couldn’t even keep him safe.”

“I tried,” Kit’s voice trembled. “I really tried.”

“And what a wonderful job you did,” Sam said contemptuously.

Tears began forming at the corners of Kit’s eyes. “I worry about him more than I worry about myself,” he whispered.

“Is that why you only call him when you need him to pick you up when you’re drunk and got kicked out of a party? What a wonderful, one sided, friendship you two have got going on there.”

“I don’t…” Kit’s voice broke as he strangled a sob.

“Don’t what? Don’t care about him? Yeah, you made that clear,” he gestured at Ty’s unconscious body on the bed. “Now back off.”

“No, I’m staying here with him.”

“Back off.” Sam repeated. “I’ll take care of him. And unlike you, I’ll do a good job at it.”

“No.”

“Back. Off!” Sam snapped. “Can’t you see that Ty doesn’t need you? Can’t you see that he’s better off without you?”

Kit couldn’t control his tears anymore; they fell as fast as a rainfall and he sobbed to draw breath.

He knew that there was no cure for his heart. It had always been Ty for him. But Sam was right; he was better for Ty than Kit was. He was smarter and calmer and _fit_ for Ty like Kit would never be. And Ty was falling in love with him, he had said so himself. Kit was imposing on them. Interrupting their dates like an asshole, imposing on their romantic moments and insulting Sam, pinning after Ty when he was happy with someone else. It must stop. Kit has got to stop being so self-centered and think about what’s best for _Ty_. Because loving Ty means wanting him to be happy. Even if that means backing off and dying inside watching him with Sam.

“I’m sorry,” Kit whispered, tears still running down his cheeks. “You’re right. He doesn’t need me. You’re what he needs… you’re what he wants. You make him happy, and you take good care of him, and I… I can’t thank you enough for it.” He tried, in vain, to keep his voice steady. “I’ll keep my distance from him. I’ll back off and I won’t bother you again.”

With one last look at his best friend, Kit left. He will keep away from Ty; his best friend deserved to be happy. With Sam.

Kit had no place in Ty’s life anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should really hurry up if I want to finish before QoAD is published...
> 
> The next chapter is titled “Kit, I know you’ll read this. We’re here for you. Please, talk to us. – Jaime”. Get ready to see Kit spiraling after the loss of Ty’s friendship.


	12. Kit, I know you’ll read this. We’re here for you. Please, talk to us. – Jaime

“He’s not picking up.”

Jaime hung up the phone, becoming increasingly worried.

Dru bit her lower lip. “Maybe he texted Ty. He usually does… when he spends the night outside.”

Kit’s behavior had been worrisome lately, but none of the institute members knew what he was going through because he refused to talk. They knew that Kit and Ty went on a mission that went wrong, and Ty got hurt. They knew that Sam came by to take care of him and didn’t leave his side for two days. Kit, however, sort of… disappeared. He locked himself in his room, refusing to talk to anyone or even come out to eat. Jaime suspected that Kit blamed himself for Ty’s injury. Self-blame for the injury of others - and its darker counterpart, survivor’s guilt - were common among Shadowhunters. Jaime was certain that in two to three days Kit would return to normal.

He didn’t.

A week had passed, and Kit still wouldn’t speak to anyone. He looked like a ghost of himself; the smile that had been so quick to light his face was gone, he barely ate, he missed training. He was sent on a mission with Julian and acted so careless that Emma had to suspend him. And last night he had disappeared for hours only to show up in the middle of the night reeking of alcohol.

Dru and Jaime found Ty in the library, helping Christina with her case. He looked pale and dark circles had formed underneath his eyes.

“Did you get a text from Kit?” Dru tried to keep a casual tone so as not to alarm her brother.

“No, why?”

Dru glanced at Jaime, her beautiful eyes worried.

“He owns me money and I want it back,” Jaime lied unconvincingly.

“Okay, I’ll tell him when I see him,” Ty said, looking a bit puzzled. “Though he doesn’t talk to me much these days. He said that he needed some space.”

He looked miserable, but Jaime was too anxious to think much of it. He and Dru left in a hurry.

“Get one of his shirts,” Dru said when they barged into Kit’s room.

Jaime opened the closet and took out an old t-shirt. He held it while Dru drew a tracking rune on him.

“Can you see anything?” she asked anxiously.

“Yes. I know where he is.”

Dru drove as fast as she could to the location Jaime indicated and parked the car askew. They slammed the doors behind them and ran into an alley behind a pub, where they found Kit slumped as if dead, cold to the touch.

Gently, Jaime tilted his head up. “Kit, can you hear me?”

Kit opened a pair of unfocused eyes. “Jaime?”

“Thank fuck!” Jaime exhaled in relief. “We were worried sick about you. Why didn’t you call us to pick you up?”

Kit looked down again. “Because I don’t care anymore.”

Jaime exchanged a worried glance with Dru.

“Come,” she said softly. “We’re taking you home.”

Kit didn’t protest but he didn’t help them either, and finally Dru and Jaime managed to pick him up and carry him into the car. When they reached the institute, Kit collapsed again on the front steps. But what pained Jaime the most was not his miserable physical state but the expression on his face; the expression of a man who gave up on everything.

They dragged him to his room and Dru waited outside while Jaime helped him change and get into bed, handling him carefully as if he might break.

He then sat down on the edge of the bed. “What’s going on with you?” he asked quietly.

Kit turned his face away from him, but Jaime could see that his eyes became glazed with a layer of tears. Kit blinked, and the tears dripped from his eyelids and slid down his cheeks. Jaime had never seen Kit cry before; he was frustrated with himself for not knowing what to do.

“Please, Kit. Talk to us,” he pleaded.

Kit bit his lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from his mouth and Jaime’s heart broke.

“We’re here for you,” he said gently.

Kit’s lower lip quivered. “Don’t tell Ty,” he whispered. “Please.”

“It might be good for you to –“

“Please, Jaime. I don’t want him to know.”

“Fine, I won’t tell him,” Jaime said reluctantly. “But just… come back to us. Tell us what’s going on, so we can help you.”

Kit still wouldn’t speak. He turned away from Jaime, trying in vain to hide the tears that streamed down his face.

Reluctantly, Jaime got up, but something on Kit’s desk caught his eye; the notebook that Ty had given him. Kit had written his Today I Learned every day since. Jaime opened the notebook on the latest entry.

_TIL that I should leave Ty alone._

So _that’s_ what happened. Kit had realized Ty would not reciprocate his feelings and so he had chosen to distance himself for Ty’s sake.

Jaime’s heart ached for him. However long it took Kit to realize it, Ty was the center of his world. Whenever Ty opened his mouth, Kit would listen to anything he had to say as if those were the most important words he had ever heard in his life. He would cancel dates to spend more time with him. Sometimes, when he would go out and get heavily drunk, he would blabber about how amazing Ty is, usually scaring off his date. Ty was the only person that could calm Kit when he got mad, he was the only one who could cheer him up when he was down, and he was the only one with whom Kit used his “special voice” as Jaime came to call the soft tone that Kit used whenever he addressed his best friend. Ty was the only one who could make Kit do things he had stubbornly decided he didn’t want to, because Kit would burn down the entire world if Ty had asked him to.

Jaime had realized that Kit was in love with Ty the moment he first met him. He had approached Ty and introduced himself, then reached out his hand for a handshake. Kit had moved so fast he seemed like a blur to Jaime; he planted himself between Jaime and Ty with his arms crossed and a menacing expression on his face. Later, Dru had explained to Jaime that Ty was uncomfortable being touched. But as Kit stood in front of him, his blue eyes filled with cold fury, Jaime knew that Ty was much more than a friend to him.

Jaime stared at the words again.

_TIL that I should leave Ty alone._

It had already been a week and Kit hadn’t written anything since. Still, Jaime was going to try to get him to talk to him in any way he could. He took a pen and added a new entry.

_Kit, I know you’ll read this. We’re here for you. Please, talk to us. – Jaime_

*******

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Kit turned his head and tried to focus his eyes on the young man next to him. He had raven black hair and a smile too large for his face, and it made Kit’s heart ache.

“No.”

He stumbled to the pub doorway, blinking as the smoke from inside swirled out into the bitter night air under the streetlamps light before he shut the door behind him. His stomach hauled in a sickly way and his head spun. He took a few unsteady paces into the alley before he bent forward, vomit splashing on the stones and spraying his jeans. He leaned against the wall, his forehead on the cold bricks, trying to catch his breath.

It had been almost a month, he was blind drunk, and still - he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

In the streets he thought about Ty’s face as he lay asleep next to Kit so many nights in the past. In bars he thought about Ty’s hands on his waist as they danced together. In the deep dark night, he thought about his smile. When the sun blinded him, he thought about Ty’s gray eyes, the first time he made eye contact with him. When he woke up after a night of heavy drinking, he thought about the long walks they took on the beach. When Julian brought him sandwiches to his room and sat there, waiting for him to eat, he thought about all the ways he screwed up.

Guilt ridden, Kit was determined to stay drunk until he died.

“It’s a Shadowhunter!” A mocking voice said behind him, but Kit couldn’t bring himself to care enough to turn around.

A large hand was placed on his shoulder and turned him around violently and Kit found himself surrounded by five werewolves.

“He’s drunk,” one of them said. “And covered in puke. Disgusting.”

Another one squinted his eyes. “Hey, isn’t this the Shadowhunter that made out with Ania?”

Kit could barely focus his eyes. “I don’t recall an Ania,” he said smugly. “Still, I probably did.”

Another werewolf picked him by the neck and pulled him up. “That’s my girlfriend, fuckface!”

Kit was reminded of that night, a few months back, when he had gone to a party and picked up a girl using his sunrise line. She turned out to be the girlfriend of a werewolf – this one, apparently – and Kit got kicked out. Ty came to get him, and Kit was stupid enough to tell him that he should start dating someone. Well, Ty ended up taking his advice, and he was happy. Happier than he would have ever been with Kit.

“Ah, I remember now.” Kit smirked, trying to taunt the werewolf. “The hot blonde that wanted an upgrade.”

He wanted him to get mad; some part of him wanted the werewolf to hate him as much as he hated himself.

The werewolf punched his jaw, and Kit could taste blood. He didn’t even bother taking out the silver dagger strapped to his thigh. He didn’t care about anything anymore. He deserved it, anyway.

The werewolves beat him up. They broke his arm. They broke his ribs. They punched his face until his mind became a blur of pain. And then they left him on the ground in the dirty alley, bleeding and broken, as if he were nothing.

Distantly he heard a sound like a small whimper. Was someone crying…? The world became darker around Kit as his consciousness ebbed and the only thought he could make out was Ty’s name.

Something soft touched his face and Kit could hear the small cry again; and then he lost consciousness.

*******

“He disappeared again,” Julian told his wife anxiously.

“Tracking rune,” she immediately said.

They knew they had to move fast; Kit’s behavior lately had been borderline destructive. He was suspended from missions and Julian forbade him to leave the institute, but he sneaked out anyway.

The rune led them to a dark alley. Despite his night vision rune, Julian could not see anyone sitting on the curve or leaning against a wall… _Where is he?_

“Kit!” he yelled. “Are you here?”

Next to him, Emma made a strangled sound like a silent sob. “Jules, he’s… there.”

Julian looked at the direction she pointed. At first, he didn’t see anything, but then -

“Kit!” Julian ran to him. “Kit, can you hear me?”

Kit was lying on the ground, barely conscious. He was almost unrecognizable. His lips were cracked open, his eyes were swollen shut, he seemed to have a broken eye socket and from the odd angle his hand was positioned at - also a broken arm.

A small kitten, with black stripes over gray fur, stood between him and Julian and hissed when Julian tried to get closer.

“Kit, it’s us,” Emma whispered. “It’s us.”

Julian looked at Kit’s puffed up face. “Kit, what happened?”

Kit could hardly talk. “Met… old friends,” he whispered.

Julian took his arm, intending to draw a healing rune on him, but the small kitten became crazed. It leaped at Julian and tried to scratch him with its tiny claws.

“It’s alright,” Julian murmured. “It’s alright. I’m not going to hurt him.”

The kitten seemed to have understood. It let go of Julian’s arm and came to rest its head on Kit’s chest.

Emma dropped to the ground and gently put Kit’s head on her lap, and Julian drew Iraze after Iraze on Kit’s skin and watched as the cuts healed and the bones mended. Emma caressed Kit’s hair slowly, looking pained.

“It’s been a month of this self-destructive behavior. We can’t let him keep hurting himself,” Julian said, his voice trembling.

Emma looked on the verge of tears. “Yes,” she whispered. “It has to stop.”

*******

When Kit woke up his entire body ached.

“You’re up.” He heard Julian’s voice.

He was sitting in a chair next to Kit’s bed, a worried expression on his face. “We were waiting for you to wake up. Jaime stayed with you all night. I took his place an hour ago.”

Something warm and soft rubbed itself over Kit’s face. The unknown _thing_ made a soft purring sound.

“That kitten was with you when we found you,” Julian said softly. “I think it was trying to protect you. It wouldn’t let me come near you until I promised I was not going to hurt you and it refused to leave your side since.”

Kit turned his head to look at the cat. It looked back at him with large green eyes. It tapped Kit’s lips curiously with one tiny paw. Kit almost smiled.

“It’s a she, by the way,” Julian continued. “And I… I think you should keep her.”

It wasn’t very common for Shadowhunters to have pets. “You don’t see mundane soldiers raising cats and parrots in their army bases,” was what they usually said. Ty never got to have a pet, even though he begged for one, as Julian didn’t want to attract more attention to him being different.

Kit studied Julian’s concerned face. He realized the magnitude of the gesture. “Thank you,” he whispered. Julian nodded.

The kitten finished her curious tapping and curled on Kit’s chest, a warm weight right above his heart.

“I brought you some toasts,” Julian said.

“I’m not hungry.”

Julian bit the inside of his cheek. “Okay,” he finally said. He looked as if there was something else he needed to say but didn’t know how.

“What is it?”

“Could you please come downstairs with me?” Julian asked quietly. “Ty’s not here,” he added. “We sent him on patrol.”

“Alone?” Kit asked, alarmed.

“No, he’s not alone.” Julian did not elaborate. “Let’s go downstairs.”

Reluctantly, Kit got up and followed him, the kitten curled in his arms and providing more comfort than he had had during the past month.

He could hear voices as Julian led him into the living room. When they entered, however, everyone fell silent. Emma was sitting next to Christina, Dru and Jaime shared a loveseat, Perfect Diego, Mark, and Kieran on the sofa, and next to Kieran – Clary and Jace.

“What’s going on?” Kit asked suspiciously.

Julian took a seat and gestured for Kit to join him. No one commented on the cat; Kit suspected that Julian already gave them a heads up.

“Kit,” Julian said gently. “This is an intervention.”

“Are you serious?” Kit felt his temper rising.

“It’s been more than a month of this self-destructive behavior,” Julian continued. “And we all love you too much to allow you to throw your life away like that.”

Kit felt annoying tears forming at the corner of his eyes. “I’m fine!”

“We’re here for you,” Jace said gently. “We want to help.”

Kit turned to Julian. “Why did you call _him_?”

“Because he needs to know.”

“There’s nothing to know. I’m fine.”

“Kit, you developed a dangerous reliance on alcohol,” Jaime said quietly. “You won’t go an entire day without it anymore.”

“You disappear, you don’t call, we have to track you down and we always find you on the verge of death,” Dru added, biting her lower lip.

“You miss training, you don’t eat, I can’t send you on missions for fear that you might hurt yourself,” Emma mumbled.

“We’ve been thinking a lot,” Christina said gently. “Trying to come up with the best way to help you.”

“And we have an idea,” Clary added carefully.

“We think that it is best that you should stay at the institute for a few weeks, during which we will help you overcome your emotional dependency on alcohol,” Julian said. “And then you should leave for your travel year. Meet new people. See the world. Find a way to heal.”

Kit passed his fingers through the fur of the cat sitting on his lap. He and Ty always talked about going on their travel year together. They wanted to leave in a year or two; they didn’t feel a pressure to leave immediately when they turned eighteen. They talked about traveling to Asia, about visiting the institutes in Japan and South Korea. But now Ty had Sam and they would probably leave together, and Kit would stay alone in LA.

“Once you’re better, you’ll come and stay with us for a few weeks,” Jace said.

“Diego and I spoke to our family in Mexico,” Jaime added. “They’ll be happy to host you afterwards.”

Leave for New York and Mexico. Alone…

“What do you think?” Julian asked gently.

Kit looked around. Pairs of worried eyes looked back at him. They were right; he had to get away and heal.

“Okay,” he muttered.

Dru got up and wound her arms around him and the rest soon did the same until Kit was almost buried underneath everyone.

“Okay, okay.” He smiled. “You can let me go now.”

They didn’t. Not for a few long minutes. Kit was grateful.

“You can always call,” Jace said before he stepped through the portal back to New York. “If you ever just need to talk… I’m here.”

“Thank you.”

Kit was about to head back to his room, hugging his cat like a precious baby, when he saw Mark and Kieran.

“Kieran,” Mark began timidly.

“Another ridiculous declaration?” Kieran asked coldly. “Or perhaps another absurd poem?”

“No, I just… Would you like to… maybe… go on a date with me? I… I would love that.”

Kieran’s gaze scanned Mark from head to toes. “No,” he said dryly and walked away, leaving a dejected Mark behind.

Enough was enough. Kit followed him angrily.

“Kieran, wait,” he said when he caught up with him outside, on the front steps.

Kieran turned around. “Wha – oh, Kit.” He smiled. “I like your cat. What’s her name?”

“What is wrong with you?” Kit lashed at him.

Kieran looked bewildered. “I beg your pardon?”

“Don’t you realize how lucky you are?” Kit asked, exasperated. “Mark is hopelessly in love with you. For almost four years I’ve seen him beg you to give him another chance. He tried every possible approach. He humiliated himself over and over again. And he didn’t care. The only thing he cares about is you. He won’t stop talking about you. He won’t stop thinking about you. He sat in a pillow fort eating cookies and wishing you would give him a chance -”

“What?”

“Long story,” Kit said dismissively. “But the thing is, he loves you. And you love him back. That’s a rare and beautiful thing. The love that you have – most people live their entire lives without experiencing it. And you’ll regret it, eventually, if you don’t give him another chance. I know it’s hard to trust him again. But take it from me; the cost of not following your heart is spending every day of the rest of your life wishing that you had.”

He finished his little speech, his heart racing, and prayed that Kieran would listen. For a few moments the fairy remained silent, but then he walked past Kit and back inside. Kit followed him quickly. They found Mark leaning against the wall, passing his hands through his hair in frustration.

“Mark,” Kieran said gravely.

Mark jumped at the sound of his name on Kieran’s lips. “W-What… Did you forget anything?”

“Take me on a date.”

Mark blinked. “Are – are you serious?”

“Perfectly.”

Mark’s whole face lit up as he grinned. “You won’t regret it!” he nearly shrieked with happiness.

Kieran glanced at Kit, the corners of his mouth slightly curved upwards, before replying, “I know.”

*******

Back in his room Kit lay on his bed with his kitten cuddled against him.

“I’m going to get better,” he told her. “I’ll go away, and I’ll find a way to heal.”

He thought about a poem he read once.

 

_A heart like a wildflower,_

_Strong enough to rise again after being trampled upon,_

_Tough enough to weather the worst of the summer storms._

Kit passed his fingers over the kitten’s fur. “I think I’ll name you Storm.”

She purred in agreement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled "TIL that fruit flies were the first living creatures to be sent into space". Kit is getting ready to leave...


	13. TIL that fruit flies were the first living creatures to be sent into space

“Wow, Storm, did you know that fruit flies were the first living creatures to be sent into space?”

Storm seemed utterly unimpressed by that fact. She stretched slowly and then turned on her back, exposing her belly for rubs. Kit caressed her with one hand, passing his fingers through the soft fur, and turned a page in his book with the second.

Although Kit had initially began reading the encyclopedia of insects in the hopes of impressing Ty (seriously, how did he not understand that he was in love with him?!) but at this point he was completely absorbed. So, he got himself a copy and spent his free time reading it on his bed with Storm in his lap. He was slowly becoming an old cat lady and he didn’t mind it one bit. It was much better than being a raging alcoholic, anyway.

Two weeks had passed since the intervention, and Kit was doing better. His physical dependency on alcohol was manageable; it was the emotional dependency that was hard to deal with. Kit had used alcohol to numb himself for so long and now all his repressed emotions came flooding his mind until he thought he might drown. His unrequited love for Ty ruined him for any other and the loss of his best friend – the only person who Kit trusted with his life, the only person Kit would open up to, the only person Kit wanted to see at the end of a bad day – shattered his heart every day anew.

The first two days after the intervention were somewhat tolerable; but on the third day Ty had knocked on his door and asked him if they were going to the beach, because it was Sunday. Kit said no and closed the door in his face, then collapsed on the floor, gasping for breath.

He nearly relapsed that night. Instead, he came knocking on Julian’s door. He didn’t need to explain – Julian understood.

“Let’s bake cookies,” he said.

“Get out of my head, you angel.” Kit smiled.

So, they baked cookies at 3 AM and then they sat at the counter and talked until dawn.

Kit had almost relapsed three times since then, but each time someone else had saved him from himself. Dru and Jaime watched a marathon of the Lord of the Rings with him; Mark and Perfect Diego spent an entire night playing Mario Karts with him; and Christina and Emma made him tea and spent the night giggling about their exes (and so Kit had learned details about Perfect Diego’s… um… _preferences_ that he wished he could forget).

If he didn’t want to be alone – he didn’t have to. Someone would always be there for him, and Storm never left his side.

And sometimes, he could almost forget how much he missed Ty.

Kit lifted his eyes from the book. A large leather trunk was open in the middle of the room, half filled with clothes. Kit and Julian had decided that since he had gotten better, he should leave for New York in two weeks, spend two months there and then go to Mexico for at least a year. Kit had told everyone over breakfast. Everyone except Ty, who happened to be out with Sam. If the rest knew that Kit had done so deliberately, they didn’t say.

Storm tapped her empty bowl and mewed in displacement.

“You’re right, you’re right.” He smiled. “It’s time to eat.”

Kit picked her up and went downstairs to get the cat food but stopped before reaching the kitchen and leaned against the wall; he could hear voices, and he had to make sure that Ty’s wasn’t one of them because he couldn’t handle seeing him. How could he, when the only thing he had ever wanted was to be his friend, and the only thing he had ever dreamed of was to be his love?

It seemed that Ty was, in fact, not there. Kit could distinguish Emma’s voice, saying “fucking tell him, then”, then Christina mumbling something – maybe they were talking about Perfect Diego? Kit suspected that there was still something going on between them.

Well, after having spent an entire night talking about Emma and Christina’s love life, Kit was certain that there was nothing he didn’t already know and so it was safe to go in.

But then he heard him.

“How do you show someone you love them?” Ty asked. “I think I’m failing.”

_Oh, no. No no no no no._

The last thing Kit needed at the moment – or at _any_ moment, for that matter – was to hear Ty planning displays of affections for his boyfriend.

Kit decided to retreat, but unfortunately Storm chose this exact moment to mew loudly.

“Kit?” Jaime called out.

Reluctantly, Kit stepped forward.

Apparently, it was not just Ty, Emma, and Christina and the kitchen. They were _all_ there. Mark, Kieran, Perfect Diego, Jaime, Julian, and Dru.

And they were all staring at him.

“I’m just here for cat food,” he said sheepishly.

He poured some into Storm’s bowl, trying to keep his hands from trembling and hyper aware that all eyes were on him and then left, one hand holding Storm and the other holding the bowl.

He reached his room and closed the door behind him, panting. He knew that Ty loved Sam but hearing him say it out loud was unbearable. Why didn’t the pain dull over time? It seemed to only be getting stronger. How was that even possible?

Someone knocked on his door.

“It’s me,” Jaime said. “And Mark.”

“Come in.” Kit’s voice quivered.

They walked inside, and Jaime closed the door behind them oddly fast.

“How much did you hear?” he asked

“The usual. Ty pinning after Sam.” Kit tried to keep the bitterness in his voice to a minimum.

“Oh. Right.”

Kit sat back down on his bed, picking Storm and putting her in his lap. He tried to ignore the fact that both were starting at him.

“You didn’t tell him that you were leaving,” Mark finally said.

“No.”

“Why?”

“I’m trying to think about the best way to tell him. I still want to save our friendship. Whatever’s left of it, anyway.”

Mark and Jaime exchanged a glance.

“You should talk to him.”

“I will,” Kit sighed. “I will. I just need to figure out what to say first.”

“Then I suggest you do it fast, because we told him that you were leaving –“

“Why?!” Kit jumped, letting Storm fall to the floor. She hissed angrily.

“-and he’s waiting outside.”

“What?” Kit yelled. “Jaime, I’m going to kill you!”

“You weren’t going to talk to him!” Jaime argued. “You were going to drag this out until the day you left, and then what? You planned to just be all ‘K bye’?”

Kit remained silent.

“I can’t let you screw this up,” Jaime continued. “Not after you pushed me to talk to Dru.”

“And after you made Kieran give me a chance,” Mark said quietly. “He told me that you talked to him. I don’t know what you said, but… thank you,” he whispered. “And now’s our turn to make _you_ do the right thing.”

Kit didn’t know what he was more – angered or panicked.

Jaime opened the door. “Ty, come in.”

Kit’s heart skipped a beat as Ty seemed to fill the entire room with his presence. He barely noticed Mark and Jaime leaving and closing the door behind them.

“Hey,” Ty said quietly.

“Hey.”

_Oh god oh god oh god oh god -_

From behind him, Storm mewed and came to rub herself on Ty’s legs. With a small smile, Ty picked her up. She purred happily in his arms, letting him stroke her back.

“You have a cat,” he said.

“Yes… That’s Storm.”

“Storm,” Ty repeated. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” He caressed her behind her ears and she seemed to be enjoying herself tremendously. Kit wasn’t surprised; all animals loved Ty.

Ty’s eyes scanned the room, purposely skipping the open trunk by his bead. Instead he focused on the book resting open on the pillow.

“You’re reading the encyclopedia of insects.”

“I got myself a copy.”

Ty’s eyebrows rose slightly, and Kit prayed that he wouldn’t ask why.

“You stopped drinking,” Ty said instead. Julian must have told him that; probably to make Kit seem like a better person than he truly was.

“Yes… It…” Kit took a deep breath. “It got bad.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me.”

For a few long moments they stood there, Ty caressing Storm and Kit focusing his gaze on Ty’s hands or on Ty’s feet, but never on his face.

“You’re leaving,” Ty finally said.

Kit swallowed. “Yes.”

“In two weeks,” Ty said so quietly Kit almost didn’t hear.

“In two weeks,” Kit repeated awkwardly.

“Why?”

 _Why?_ Kit wanted to strangle Jaime and Mark. He didn’t have an answer prepared and he sure as hell was not going to tell Ty the truth.

“It’s my travel year,” he said instead.

Ty didn’t say anything for a few moments, but Kit could see that the hand he passed over Storm’s fur trembled slightly.

“But we’re friends.” Ty’s voice quivered.

“We are,” Kit said quickly. “We’ll always be friends.”

“We talked about going together,” Ty said. “Why don’t you want me to come with you?”

Kit dared to lift his gaze and study Ty’s face. How to explain that if they stood a chance at saving their friendship, Kit had to go away _alone_?

“You have Sam now,” he said, trying to sound supportive. “You don’t need me. You’re going to travel with him.”

Ty bit his lower lip, as if trying to stop the words that wanted to come out of his mouth.

“Sam broke up with me.”

Kit froze. He studied his best friend carefully; Ty’s expression was dejected and miserable. The conversation Kit had just heard in the kitchen made it clear that Ty was still in love with Sam. That Sam broke his heart. And it made Kit angry. So angry. Absolutely furious that Sam FireFUCK dared to hurt Ty like that.

“What?” he managed not to yell. “WHEN?!” He did end up yelling. Fucking Sam.

Ty knitted his fingers together and studied them intently. “A week ago,” he mumbled.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” _I should have been there for you. And punched Sam’s stupid face._

“I was embarrassed,” Ty said quietly.

“What?!” Kit was raging. “I can’t believe he made you feel that way! _He_ should be the one who’s embarrassed! He just made the biggest fucking mistake of his life. Just wait, Ty, I am going to the forensic lab and I’ll make him wish he was Fire _dead_!”

Kit’s lame pun made Ty chuckle, and Kit couldn’t help but stare at the way it lighted up his face. Ty’s beautiful, beautiful face.

“Still, Ty, you have nothing to be embarrassed about,” he muttered. “I wish you would have told me.”

“I was ashamed of the reason he broke up with me,” Ty mumbled, looking down at his feet.

“The reason being what? That you’re too perfect?! Or maybe he realized he was in love with one of his maggots?!” Kit yelled. “You know what, forget about that Firedork. I’m going to decapitate him tomorrow and let Emma play ball with the remains, and you’ll find someone much, much better.”

He will. Of course he will. He’s Ty. He’s smart, and beautiful, and kind, and funny, and the most amazing friend anyone could ever hope for. Kit was lucky enough to be able to call him his _best_ friend; and he’ll learn how to be happy for his best friend when he inevitably falls in love with someone else. Someone who deserved him.

“I’m not like you,” Ty said quietly. “I can’t move on so easily or forget people just because it’s already been a month.”

Kit took a deep breath. “I was wrong,” he said.

“What?” Ty lifted his gaze and studied Kit’s face intently.

“I was wrong. The things I said… I didn’t mean them. I didn’t realize that I didn’t mean them…” Kit became frustrated with his inability to express himself. “But I do. I do want a relationship. I want to have someone to take care of, and that will take care of me. I want someone with whom I can have deep conversations and calm silences. Someone to watch movies with, and laugh with, and cuddle with every night until we both fall asleep.”

He should have stopped there. Of course he should have. And of course he didn’t.

“I want someone to tell me facts about animals and science. Someone that wakes up in the morning and sees life as a wonder. Someone curious that makes me see the world from a different point of view. Someone who’s smart, and kind, and for some reason doesn’t even know how amazing he is.”

 _Stop. Stop talking._ Kit tried to stop himself, but all his repressed emotions came flowing out like an erupting volcano.

“I want someone to go with to the beach on Sundays and watch him play with little animals, and I want to kiss him while the waves hit the shore around us. I want someone that I sometimes say nonsense to because he’s so beautiful he takes my breath away and turns my mind to mush. I want someone that gives me a notebook to write everything I learned that day, that I end up filling with entries about him.

“I want to hold him and tell him that he’s the best person I have ever met. That he’s the best friend that I – that anyone – could ever hope for. That he’s my everything. That he had my heart a long time ago. That I realized that I was in love with him when it was too late; and that I’m falling for him every day anew.”

Kit didn’t dare to look at Ty; but he had already said the worst, so why not keep going?

“And I want to tell him that I have no idea why Firedouche broke up with him, but if I were good enough to date him - if I stood a chance - I would have never let him go. I would have spent every second of every day being grateful that he chose me, and finding ways to show him just how in love with him I am.”

Kit was panting; he let the words flow out without stopping to breathe. He was flushed from embarrassment at his confession and shaking from the relief of letting it all out – and from fear that he had just ruined his and Ty’s friendship.

“Kit I – “

“Don’t,” Kit said, defeated. “I just want you to know that Sam’s insane.”

“He’s not. He was right to break up with me.”

“No! Why –“

“Did you really use the notebook I gave you to write things about me?”

Kit stared at him. That was such a Ty thing; to focus on this one small detail out of Kit’s entire confession.

Kit walked over to his desk. “Here,” he said, handing Ty the notebook. “See for yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled "Through Gray Eyes (Part I)".
> 
> Get ready to see the same events from Ty's POV as he reads Kit's notebook... <3


	14. Through Gray Eyes (Part I)

Ty took the notebook from Kit’s hand, trying not to let his nervousness show. He sat down on the bed and opened it on the first entry. The words _TIL how to stand in a fighting stance_ were scrawled on the page in Kit’s messy handwriting. Ty remembered that day; Kit had admitted that he didn’t know who he was anymore, and Ty had promised that he would help him figure it out. “We’ll start simple,” he had told him then. “Today we’ll learn how to stand in a fighting stance.”

Ty turned the pages. Kit was right; almost all entries bore Ty’s name. _TIL that Ty’s favorite musical instrument is the piano_. _TIL that Ty smells like the ocean. TIL that Ty’s favorite tea is Lady Gray._ The ones that didn’t have Ty’s name in them were still about him; either things he had taught Kit or things they did together.

Ty risked a glance in Kit’s direction. He sat on the opposite side of the bed, hugging his knees. Storm must have felt his distress because she came rubbing herself on his feet. Kit pushed blond curls out of his eyes and picked her up, then crossed his legs and let her sit in his lap. She purred as he stroked her head and for the first time in over a month Ty saw the corners of Kit’s mouth curve up slightly. It sent his heart fluttering in his chest.

He turned another page in Kit’s notebook and looked at the date on top of the page. The entry was dated a few months back, just before he had met Sam. Ty read the title.

 

**TIL That Ty is the greatest friend ever. JK, I already knew that**

The world is often loud. It has too much noise and light and color, and Ty can feel himself getting agitated. His hands flutter at his sides nervously and his head feels like it is filled with broken glass. He puts his headphones on like a shield; and when it’s not enough he goes on long rides alone on his motorcycle. Watching the world pass him in a blur has a calming effect on him.

Ty was on a ride when he got a text from Kit asking to pick him up, to which he attached his GPS location. Kit would do that sometimes; he would get too drunk, anger some people, and then ask Ty to pick him up.

Ty got to the location Kit had sent and found him sitting on the curve, wearing ripped jeans, sneakers and a white t-shirt. Shadowhunters only wore white as a sign of grief, but Kit liked to wear white t-shirts because, according to him, he looked gorgeous in them. In reality, Ty knew that it was Kit’s way to keep some part of his old self.

“What did you do this time?” Ty asked as he removed his helmet.

“I kissed a werewolf’s girlfriend and got thrown out.”

“So, the usual.” Ty shook his head. “Let me guess; you used your sunrise line?”

The sunrise line was Kit’s favorite pickup line. Ty never understood why it worked. It was so incredibly stupid.

“You know it.” Kit lifted his hand up for a high-five.

“I’m not high-fiving your _decadence_ ,” Ty replied firmly, and handed Kit the spare helmet.

They reached the institute Ty carried Kit to his room, then carefully placed him back on his feet.

“Brush your teeth and get to bed.”

“You arrived fast,” Kit said.

“I was already out.”

Kit finished brushing his teeth and changed his jeans to sweatpants. Ty would never tell him that, but he thought Kit looked best in sweatpants. Just comfortable and snuggly.

“You should date someone,” Kit said suddenly.

Ty tore his gaze from Kit’s sweatpants. “What?”

“You should date someone.”

“I think you date enough for all of us combined,” Ty remarked. He hoped that saying it would get Kit to talk about himself instead of pressing the issue further.

“I’m being serious. Don’t you want to get out there?” Kit was not letting go. Ty found it odd; Kit had never pressured him to date someone before.

“It’s not that simple.”

“Why the hell not?”

_Why not? Because I’m not normal. I don’t understand what people are feeling most of the time, I’m boring them when I’m talking about the things I like, I get overwhelmed by situations that others find normal, I have a hard time with physical affection, I -_

“Because I’m not normal,” he simply said.

“No, you’re not,” Kit agreed. “You’re better than normal. You’re great, and you deserve to be with someone who makes you see that. Even if it takes some work.”

Kit always said things like that. For some reason he seemed to find Ty amazing. Sometimes, Ty even believed him.

“I haven’t found someone that’s worth this work,” Ty said dismissively. He was not going to talk about it anymore. “Now, can you get into your bed alone or do you need me to tuck you in like a little baby?”

“I know you mean that as an insult, but it does sound appealing. Can you please tuck me in like a little baby?” Kit smiled smugly. He always seemed to be enjoying himself tremendously whenever Ty took care of him.

“No, you seem fine to me. I’ll see you in the morning. And I don’t care if you’re hungover - I’m waking you up at seven AM sharp.”

“Oh, the love you have for me,” Kit said happily, and Ty could not help but smile. “Good night bestie.”

“Good night, Kit.”

 

**TIL that the new forensic analyst is boring AF**

Ty jumped off the bed the second his alarm clock went off and pulled back the drapes.

Kit tried to protest but the sound that came out of his mouth made Ty laugh.

“What?”

“You sound like a warthog,” Ty said.

“Not the most flattering thing you have ever said to me, yet not the worst.”

Ty left the drapes pulled back – it was to only way to ensure that Kit should not go back to sleep - and went to the bathroom. A few minutes later he opened the door, toothbrush in hand, to assess Kit’s situation. He found him on the floor, his legs still tangled in the sheets, which wasn’t much of a surprise given that Kit was not very graceful in the mornings.

“How did you get home last night?” he asked mid-brushing. He knew how Kit had gotten home, but he had to figure out how much Kit remembered.

“I’m not even sure _where_ I was last night,” Kit answered.

Ty got back into the bathroom and rinsed his mouth. “I’m not surprised,” he said as he walked back out. “You were completely wasted last night.”

“Not _that_ wasted, right?”

Ty studied his face carefully. Did Kit not remember anything about last night?

“What?” Kit asked. “Did I do something weird?”

“You mean weirder than usual,” Ty avoided a direct answer. The truth was, Kit went out with Jaime and Dru to a rave party last night and came back drunk as usual, then said some things that made Ty feel all sorts of confused.

***

_Ty woke up to a knock on his door in the middle of the night. He opened it to find Dru and Jaime carrying Kit with some difficulty._

_“He refuses to go to his room,” Jaime said. “He says he wants to stay with you.”_

_Ty rubbed his eyes sleepily. “Fine. Give him to me.”_

_He wasn’t surprised; Kit would often fall into his bed and refuse to move when he drank too much._

_“Ty!” Kit shrieked as he fell into his arms. “I missed you!”_

_“He really did,” Dru confirmed. “He spent the entire night talking about you. I think he scared his date off.”_

_Ty yawned. “Alright, Kit. Let’s put you in bed.”_

_Dru and Jaime bid him goodnight, and Ty picked Kit and carried him to the bathroom to wash his face. He filled a glass with water and put it in Kit’s hand._

_“No,” Kit protested._

_“Yes. Otherwise you’ll be hungover tomorrow.”_

_“No!”_

_“Drink, or else I’m not letting you into my bed.” It was Ty’s usual threat, and it worked like magic. Kit drank the entire glass and gave it back to Ty._

_“Can I come to bed now?”_

_He stumbled forward, and Ty caught him by the elbow to steady him and guided him to bed. Kit took off his shirt and jeans and lay in, and Ty lay next to him on his back, their shoulders grazing._

_“Hey, Ty,” Kit tried to whisper but ended up near-yelling._

_“Yeah?”_

_“I like sleeping with you best,” Kit said happily. Ty tried to ignore the obvious innuendo._

_“Great.”_

_“I like sleeping with you the best, even though you hog the blanket all night.”_

_“It’s my blanket! If you want to, bring your own.”_

_“I love you, Ty-Ty. I really, really love you. You’re my favorite person.”_

_“You always say that when you’re drunk,” Ty replied fondly._

_“You’re the best person in the whole world.”_

_“You always say that as well. Go to sleep.”_

_“But I like you!”_

_“Go to sleep.”_

_Kit went silent. In a few moments, Ty knew, he would start snoring. Ty closed his eyes -_

_“Ty?”_

_“What?” Ty feigned impatience. The truth was, he could never lose his patience with Kit, no matter how annoying or clingy he got._

_“If you ever kiss someone, I want it to be me.”_

_Ty opened his eyes but didn’t dare to move. He didn’t know what to say;  Kit had said a lot of ridiculous things when he got drunk over the years; but never something like this._

_“I would do it very gently,” Kit continued. “You would like it, I promise.”_

_“Go to sleep.”_

_“But it will be me, right?”_

_“I’m kicking you out of bed if you keep talking.”_

_The threat worked, and Kit kept quiet; but it took a long while for Ty to finally fall asleep._

 

**TIL that a giraffe weevil is a type of beetle (so, nothing useful)**

“I’m going to my room. To shower. Because I want to shower.”

“I think we can all relate,” Ty replied. His best friend was acting a bit weird, but Ty was too anxious about the whole _Sam thing_ to think much of it.

Sam was nice, and smart, and easy to talk to, and if Ty was being honest with himself – also very attractive. Many people have asked Ty on a date in the past, but he had refused them all because it didn’t feel _right_. But Kit thought that Ty should get out there, and Sam was nice… So, maybe Ty should just take a chance. But what if he screwed it up? What if Sam ended up leaving? He’s bound to leave as soon as he realizes just how weird Ty is and -

“Yes… so when I want to shower – I sometimes do,” Kit continued.

Ty’s dark chain of thoughts was broken, and he realized that he was grinning. Kit says to most ridiculous things sometimes. It’s adorable, really. “Good for you.”

“It is,” Kit replied solemnly, and Ty felt a rush of affection towards him. Even without meaning to, Kit always managed to pull Ty out of the black holes he felt he created for himself.

He started climbing the stairs and Ty heard himself ask him to watch a movie with him. Thankfully, Kit was not busy, so he said yes. Ty really needed the distraction.

But when they sat the couch and played the movie Ty found that he couldn’t concentrate; he spent the entire time debating whether it was the right choice to agree to go out with Sam.

So, when the movie ended, Ty turned to Kit and asked “do you think that it’s a good idea? Sam, I mean.

Kit smiled and said confidently. “That’s a great idea.”

Ty felt more relaxed about his decision.

 

**TIL that Sam had meant that as a date**

It turned out that Kit was right; dating Sam _was_ a great idea. He was nice and easy to talk to, he knew much about science and forensic analysis, and for every fact Ty had told him – he told one back.

They walked between rows of butterflies set in glass display cases. Ty wanted to tell Sam about the procedure of conserving insects, but he figured he already knew it. Kit wouldn’t have, and a small part of Ty wished he was here so he could tell him, because Kit always seemed fascinated by everything Ty would say.

Ty wondered what Kit was doing at the moment. Probably flirting shamelessly with Jaime or finding an excuse to avoid training with Emma or gloating because he finally got Ty to go out on a date.

“Is it okay if I held you hand?” Sam asked quietly.

Ty flinched. “I… I can’t. I’m sorry.”

He felt terrible about it. Sam would probably realize that he made a mistake in asking him out, and he’ll find some excuse to ditch him, and Ty would have to go back alone to the institute and avoid telling Kit how the date went because the Herondale would probably lose his temper and walk straight into the forensic lab and kick Sam and then they’ll have to find a new forensic analyst and –

“That’s okay,” Sam said quietly. “I don’t want to pressure you. I just want you to know that whenever you’re ready – I’d like to.”

Ty lifted his eyes and scanned Sam’s face; his warm, brown eyes, his sharp cheekbones.

“Really?” he asked, bewildered.

“It might be even better this way. I was lucky enough to get to take you out on a date. Getting to also hold your hand might have been too much luck for one person to handle, it might have killed me.”

Ty couldn’t stop smiling after that.

After Ty dropped Sam off at his place he went straight home. He wanted to find Kit and tell him how the date went but he was out on patrol. Julian was home, though, and he asked Ty gently how his afternoon had been. Ty deduced that Kit had told everyone about his date – just like Ty suspected he would. He had probably proudly told the whole family about he got Ty to finally date someone.

Ty got into his room and took a shower. He wondered when Kit would get home; probably in the middle of the night. Ty would have to tell him about the date tomorrow.

He stepped out of the shower, put on a comfy pair of sweatpants, then walked over to his library and picked up _A study in scarlet_. Kit had read him this book on three different occasions. Ty had an urge to read it now, maybe because he missed Kit’s energetic presence. Perhaps he needed it to balance out Sam’s calmness.  

**TIL that a chocolate cake perfectly balances out an entire container of ice cream**

When Kit entered the training room at last, Ty’s head snapped immediately to look at him. He looked half-asleep, and his hair was still messy - his blond curls intertwined to lovely chaos.

“Want to practice hand-on-hand combat?” Jaime asked Kit before Ty could approach him.

“Yes, I would love to have your hands on me,” Kit replied. He wriggled his eyebrows in a manner that Ty assumed was meant to be seductive.

Ty was used to Kit’s suggestive comments to Jaime. In fact, he was there when it all started.

***

_Kit sent suspicious glances towards Jaime, the newest member of the LA institute. He was scheduled to join Kit and Ty on their mission today, in addition to an insufferable Centurion girl._

_A week earlier, Jaime had told them that he decided to join the institute since his brother was here._

_“I don’t believe that for a second,” Kit muttered to Ty._

_During the past week he kept looking at him distrustfully. He may have said that it was because he didn’t believe that Jaime came here because of his brother, but Ty knew that it wasn’t the real reason. The truth was, Kit was always highly suspicious of anyone new because he hated it when people who didn’t know Ty commented on his weirdness – though Kit would never call it that. He seemed to think that Ty was perfect, and the rest of the world was the problem for not understanding it. So, Kit was giving Jaime pointed looks any time he came near Ty. He reminded Ty of a loyal watchdog. When he had said so to Kit, the blond Shadowhunter shrugged and said “you’re my best friend. I’ll always look out for you.”_

_And so today on their mission, Kit and Jaime trailed behind while Ty and the Centurion girl took the lead. Ever since they left the institute, she hadn’t stop complaining that he was too quiet. Ty tried to explain that he usually preferred silence, but she didn’t like the answer, so Ty didn’t say anything more. He was used to people teasing him for being different; it almost didn’t bother him anymore. Kit, on the other hand, was willing to behead everyone who even hinted that something was wrong with Ty._

_“What’s wrong with you? Why are you so quiet?” she asked again after ten more minutes had passed in silence. Kit seemed to have heard her this time, but before he could say anything, Jaime snapped at her._

_“Maybe he’s quiet because_ you _won’t shut the fuck up.”_

_The Centurion looked bewildered by Jaime’s insolence. She seemed even more shocked when Kit started laughing._

_“Damn!” Kit said with appreciation. “This guy humbles!”_

_“You think you’re funny?” the girl yelled. “I will report you to the clave for disrespecting authority.”_

_Kit snorted. “Please do.”_

_“I’m serious!”_

_“Your seriousness is noted,” Kit replied dryly before turning to Jaime. “After you, princess,” he said in a low voice._

_Ty could detect Kit’s flirtatious tone. It didn’t seem to influence Jaime; he just laughed and led the way, and Kit and Ty followed him, leaving the raging girl behind._

_***_

Ever since then, Kit had grown very fond of Jaime. Additionally, he had set it as his lifegoal to make Jaime blush – which rarely happened. In fact, it was usually Ty who was affected by his flirting. He wondered if Kit had noticed.

Jaime stepped on the mat. “You’re going down, Herondale.”

“It will be your pleasure,” Kit lowered his voice and looked him straight in the eyes. “I’ve been told I’m excellent at that.”

Ty choked. He had understood Kit’s innuendo perfectly, and he blushed like mad as he tried to _not_ think about Kit doing this one specific thing he had just declared himself very good at.

_Don’t think about it, don’t think about it, don’t think about it -_

Well, now he was thinking about it. Now he was most definitely thinking about his best friend down on his knees and –

_Stop stop stop stop stop!_

And then it became so much worse because Kit turned to look at him, and – was Ty imagining it or was Kit blushing as well?

Mercifully, for the first time since the history of forever, Emma had perfect timing. She called Kit for a mission and as he left the room Ty exhaled in relief, ignoring Jaime’s questioning look.

***

Their second date had been even better than the first. Ty took Sam to a quiet little restaurant, and they spent the whole evening talking. Apart from Kit, and sometimes his immediate family, no one could make Ty talk. But somehow Sam managed to make him feel comfortable enough to do so. He was just telling Sam about that time that Emma made Kit climb on a rafter and then tried to convince him to jump, when he heard him.

“Hey.”

Ty turned his head, confused to see Kit standing in front of them, hands in his pockets. Ty furrowed his brows; unsure of what was happening. Is it customary for best friends to come along on each other’s dates? That sounded like a weird social convention that no one had ever informed Ty of.

“I didn’t know you would be joining us,” Sam said.

“I’m not. I’m just here to make sure my Ty-Ty gets home safely.”

Ty looked at him suspiciously. What was he playing at?

“Kit, it’s mid-day and I’m a Shadowhunter trained in Krav Maga,” he said, already knowing that it was of no use. If Kit had decided that he wanted to walk Ty back home for his safety – nothing would change his mind. Kit was stubborn to a fault.

“Exactly,” Kit replied. “You can never be too safe. So, are you ready to go?”

“Actually, we ordered dessert,” Sam said, adjusting his glasses. Shadowhunters never needed glasses; but Ty thought they looked nice on Sam.

“Awesome! I love dessert!” Kit cried out. Ty nearly snorted; _loved_ was an understatement. Some days Ty seriously considered that Kit’s only purpose in life is to perpetuate his existence so he could eat more chocolate.

Ty watched as Kit took a chair from a nearby table and sat down with them. His blond hair caught the soft lightning and glistened like gold. Was it always so… golden? It probably was; though Ty never noticed it before.

“So, what did you get?” Kit asked excitedly. “Please tell me it’s –“

“Yes, your favorite. Chocolate cake.” Sam said. “Ty told me. He talks about you a lot.”

Ty looked down, embarrassed. It was his fault, really. He let himself believe that things would be different with Sam, but why would they? People always got bored with his stories and left. And now Sam would leave, too.

“Am I boring you with my stories?” he asked, already knowing what the answer will be. His hand was in his pocket, wrapped around Topher, squishing the little pig.

“No, not at all! I didn’t mean it like that,” Sam said. “I find everything you say interesting.”

Ty’s face suddenly felt really warm. “Really?”

“Yes, of course. You’re fascinating to me, Ty.”

The corners of Ty’s mouth rose into a grin. “You’re –“

“Plus, also,” Kit cut him off, and Ty was suddenly reminded that he was here, witnessing this exchange. “I’m awesome. So, hearing him talk about me must be a delight.”

He took another bite of the chocolate cake – which the waitress must have brought at some point but for the life of him Ty couldn’t tell when.

Ty studied his best friend; Kit seemed very content, diving into the cake. Ty always said that he eats like he was raised in a pigsty – that’s how he got Topher in the first place – but the truth was, he liked watching Kit eat. He always savored his food like a happy kid eating a birthday cake and for some reason it made Ty feel all warm inside. Not that he would ever tell him that.

They left the restaurant and Sam held Ty’s hand for the first time. It was new, and a bit scary, but it felt nice and –

“Ty! Let’s go!” Kit was getting impatient. He seemed very keen to get back home.

Ty bid Sam goodnight and came to join his best friend. “Let’s go home.”

Kit seemed very happy to do so. He spent the walk back home telling Ty about the movie he had just seen about some girl named Bridget who didn’t seem to be making very smart life choices. Kit was chatting merrily, and he didn’t notice Ty staring at him the whole way back. He had just spent a few hours with Sam, who was nice and kind, but being with Kit felt like coming back home. Kit’s face was the only one Ty thought he could never get tired looking at, counting his freckles when they sat on their favorite rock at the beach, or watching him laugh when Ty told a joke.

“So then she got sent to a Thai prison,” Kit said, cutting off Ty’s reflections.

“What? How?”

“Because airport security found cocaine in her bag. Are you even listening?”

“Yeah! I am,” Ty said quickly.

Kit glanced at him and Ty caught a glimpse of blue eyes, before he averted his gaze quickly. “So then in prison she taught the other inmates to sing and dance and then –“

And then it dawned on Ty that Kit was actually sort of… beautiful. With his golden curls and his full lips and his eyes the color of the ocean. It shouldn't have surprised him; other people - including Kit himself - often commented about the Kit’s good looks. It was just that Ty never really stopped to think about it. But Kit _was_ beautiful.

Not that Ty would ever tell him _that_.

 

**TIL that I’m slowly descending into madness**

Sunday had arrived, and that meant beach day with Kit. Ty was not going to miss it for the world, but Kit was still asleep, and Sam had suggested they get breakfast together, so Ty picked him up and took him out to get some pancakes.

“Julian’s pancakes are the best,” he told Sam. “You should come by sometime and try them.”

“I’d love to.”

Ty’s phone vibrated, and he unlocked it to read an angry text from Kit.

“That was Kit reminding me that today is beach day,” he told Sam.

“Do you need to go?”

Ty could sense Sam’s unease.

“No!” he replied quickly. “I have the whole day to go to the beach with Kit. He usually doesn’t even wake up at this hour anyway.”

“Ah,” Sam said, visibly more relaxed. “So, I have been working on the most interesting case, you have got to hear this: Two days ago, I get a phone call from the Portland institute…”

Conversation flowed easily between them afterwards; Ty listened attentively as Sam described his case and even helped him puzzle clues together. They were synchronized in their ways of thinking which was pleasant; Sam’s world had rules and order like Ty’s. Kit, however, seemed to worship chaos. Ty could not understand it, but still he had to admit that Kit had a way of getting him to see the world from a different perspective, completing him in a way.

Ty drove Sam back to his apartment. He helped him get off the motorcycle – more out of a habit of helping Kit than anything else – and Sam took off his helmet before taking Ty’s off as well.

Ty was slightly surprised, but then Sam asked, “May I kiss you?”

Ty’s heartbeat quickened. Yes, he wanted Sam to kiss him. But –

“What if I won’t be good at it?”

Sam smiled. “I’ll still like it because it’s you.”

Ty couldn’t help but smile as well. “Then yes… I want you to.”

Sam put his hands on Ty’s waist and leaned closer, then pressed a gentle kiss on his lips.

“Is that okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” Ty breathed.

Sam kissed him again, applying more pressure this time. Ty parted his lips under his and Sam slipped his tongue into his mouth. It was warm, and wet, and it tasted like peppermint.

_If you ever kiss someone, I want it to be me._

Kit’s words echoed in his mind. Ty chased them away.

Sam pulled away for air. “Just so you know,” he panted. “You’re good at this. Really, really good.”

“It was nice.” Ty smiled at him.

It _was_ nice, and Ty would want to do it again, but truthfully – he didn’t understand all the hype. It was nice, but that was it. People always told him that whenever you kissed someone you liked, you felt butterflies in your stomach or sparks in the air or your blood feels as if it turned to fire in your veins or you feel like you have deeply connected with the other person… Ty heard many descriptions over the years, but none of them fit. He hoped that nothing was wrong with him.

***

“You’ve got some chocolate, there.”

They were sitting at their usual spot on the beach, eating sandwiches in silence.

Ty wiped the corner of his mouth. “Is it gone?”

“No, wait.” Kit passed his finger over Ty’s bottom lip. “There.”

Kit’s touch made Ty’s heart flutter slightly, and he couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“I kissed Sam.”

Kit remained silent for a few moments, and Ty was anxious to know what he would say.

_If you ever kiss someone, I want it to be me._

Kit was drunk, and he didn’t mean that. Still, Ty felt as if he _wasn’t_ supposed to kiss Sam, which was ridiculous.

“You… You did,” Kit finally said.

“Actually, no,” Ty corrected himself, ever the man of facts. “He kissed me, and I kissed him back.”

“Good for you.”

Ty exhaled in relief; Kit seemed to be fine with it.

_Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he be? He’s happy for me._

A silent stretched between them, and Ty watched as Kit stared at the waves, coming and going.

“It was nice,” Ty heard himself say. “Sort of warm… and wet.”

Part of him needed Kit to tell him that there was nothing wrong with him for thinking a kiss is _nice_ and not this immersive life-changing sensation everyone spoke of.

“It was your first kiss,” Kit mumbled.

Ty was puzzled as to why Kit would state a fact they both already knew. It seemed unnecessary, and Ty was not fond of unnecessary words. But then Kit confused him even more by saying “I’m going to the training room.”

“Now?” Ty choked. Why would Kit go to the training room _now_? He seemed so keen to go to the beach this morning.

Kit got up. “Yes, now.”

“But… why?” Ty tried not to show just how disappointed he was. “I thought you wanted to hang out with me.”

“I need to go.”

Ty watched as his best friend walked away. He sat alone on the rock, stupid enough to think that Kit might return, until the sun set over the horizon.

But Kit didn’t come back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled - you guessed it - "Through Gray Eyes (Part II)". Ty keeps going through Kit's entries... :)


	15. Through Gray Eyes (Part II)

**TIL that Firedouche is Ty’s boyfriend now, apparently**

“Kit, you like Sam, right?”

“What?”

“You do like Sam… right?” Ty repeated the question.

Everyone else liked Sam - they had all said so - but Kit’s opinion was the only one that mattered.

“Yes, of course. Why would you think I didn’t?”

Was Kit joking, or did he truly not remember the things he had said about Sam in the past?

“For starters I met him because you refused to talk to him alone. And you said that whenever he opens his mouth you simultaneously want to throw up and fall asleep.”

“I guess I did say that,” Kit said. “But I think he’s nice. I mean, he makes you laugh, he gives you books, he sends you these – um – nice texts,” his voice became unusually high. “He plans those great dates for you…”

“Yes,” Ty said quietly. Somehow when Kit said those things about Sam, they sounded like… _an insult_. As if it was bad that he had taken Ty on dates or sent him texts. It made Ty angry. What the hell was wrong with Kit? He had pestered Ty to go out with someone, but when he finally did, Kit never even bothered to ask how it was going, he didn’t want to listen to Ty talk about Sam, and now he acted as if the nice things Sam did were wrong. Did he think that Ty simply didn’t deserve Sam?

“But what does it matter if I like him or not?” Kit asked. “I don’t –“

“It matters to me,” Ty replied, even though he was angry with him.

They remained quiet for a few seconds and Ty seriously considered pushing him against the wall and hold a dagger to his throat, like the first time they met, until Kit told him the truth because it seemed that he was avoiding telling Ty something, but then Kit said -

“Did you know that many insects voluntarily discharge blood in response to a threat? This behavior is called autohemorrhaging.”

_What. The. Hell._

That was disconcerting on so many levels. First, since when did Kit know so much about insects? Second, why would he bring that up _now_? Was he trying to change the subject? Third, what the hell. Just what the hell.

“Yes,” Ty replied slowly. “It serves as a physical deterrent, for example by exposing the predator to noxious substances.”

“Yes.”

This conversation was going nowhere. He knew that Kit was not telling him everything, but Ty had no idea how to make him do, and anyway he was late for meeting Sam.

“I have to go get ready,” Ty said. “I’m meeting –“

“Sam, yeah. Have fun.”

Ty left, feeling more confused than ever.

 

**TIL that all my entries are about Ty**

“When I met your family, they asked me how I define our relationship,” Sam said one evening.

They were cuddled on the sofa together, and Ty pulled away to study Sam’s face.

“I told them that as far as I’m concerned, you’re my boyfriend,” Sam continued. “I hope that’s okay.”

 _Boyfriend_.

Ty had to take a moment to consider this. He couldn’t find a single reason to object to this definition.

“It’s fine,” he replied.

“Good.” Sam exhaled. “I didn’t want to pressure you.”

Ty smiled. “You’re great, you know that?”

“I wouldn’t mind it if you showed me.”

It was an invitation, and Ty took it. He straddled him and pressed their lips together. Sam gasped in surprise but regained his senses quickly and placed one hand in Ty’s hair while the other ran over his back. Before Ty could think too much, he and Sam began moving against each other, and the friction filled him with so much _desire_ Ty thought he might die if he didn’t get more _right now_.

Sam pulled away and Ty grunted in frustration. “Ty, wait,” he panted. “What do you want?”

Ty had never been fond of using words when he deemed them unnecessary, so he took Sam’s hand and guided it downward –

His phone buzzed. He unlocked it to read a text from Kit.

“I have to go.” He got up. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I knew what I was getting into by dating a Shadowhunter,” Sam said. “My hero boyfriend is off to save the world.”

“It’s not the world. Just Kit.”

“What do you mean?” Sam’s voice tightened.

“He got too drunk to drive home, so I have to go get him.”

“Again?” Sam asked. Ty could detect anger in his voice and it made him anxious. “Can’t someone else get him?”

“He’s my best friend.” Ty hoped this explanation would be enough.

“He always does this,” Sam said. “He goes out, he gets drunk, and then he asks you to come get him. Does he expect you to keep babysitting him for the rest of his life?”

Ty was getting more and more distressed by the second. “He’s my best friend,” he said again before walking out, leaving Sam behind.

When he got to the address that Kit had sent, he found him slumped in an alley as usual.

“Ty!” Kit cried out happily when he saw him. “I missed you.”

Ty took off his helmet. “Let me guess. Your sunrise line got you into trouble again.”

“You know it,” Kit replied without shame.

In the past it might not have bothered Ty. But tonight, it did.

“Oh really,” he replied dryly. “So how many people did you fondle tonight? About a dozen?”

“A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.”

“You’re no gentleman,” Ty said coldly.

“No.” Kit smirked.

Ty was starting to regret leaving Sam to come here to this dirty alley and pick up his friend that smelled like alcohol and some stranger’s perfume.

 _Sam is a gentleman,_ he wanted to yell at Kit. Instead, he helped him get on the motorcycle and drove back to the institute. As usual, he carried Kit up to his room where he made him change his clothes and brush his teeth. He then tucked him in bed like the stupid and annoying child that Kit was.

“Goodnight,” he said, wanting to leave Kit’s room as soon as he possibly could.

But instead of saying goodnight back, Kit mumbled “I hate Firedouche.”

Ty froze. “Fire… you mean _Sam_?”

His ears were ringing. He _knew_ it. He knew that Kit had a problem with Sam.

“Yes!” Kit yelled.

“Why?” Ty asked, pained. What could Kit probably hate about Sam? He was smart, he was nice, and he treated Ty better than anyone had ever had.

“Because he kissed you.”

“Because he kissed me?” Ty was bewildered. “Kit, I _wanted_ him to kiss me.”

Kit just kept mumbling to himself. “I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.”

Ty was getting properly angry now. “What do you want from me? Did you want me to stay alone forever?”

“Yes!”

Ty took a deep breath. “I never understood if you’re saying nonsense when you’re drunk – or if you’re finally telling the truth.”

“Why did you kiss _him_?” Kit’s tone was accusatory.

“Go to sleep.”

“Why Sam?”

“Because he’s nice and I like him. Now, go to sleep.”

“No!”

And that was the first time Ty had lost his patience with Kit. “Fine! Do whatever the hell you want!”

He walked out and slammed the door behind him.

***

The next morning Ty woke up determined to avoid Kit at all costs. The mission turned out quite simple as he didn’t wake Kit up, and so Kit had slept through breakfast. When he got to the training room, Ty was busy texting Sam who was still mad at him – justifiably, Ty had to admit – for leaving in the middle of their night together. Finally, Ty got frustrated with his inability to express himself via text and decided to go to the lab to apologize in person.

He stepped through the portal and headed to the analytical lab, where he found Sam perched on a desk, analyzing autopsy reports. He lifted his gaze when he heard Ty enter, but didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry,” Ty blurted out. “I shouldn’t have left.”

Sam got up and walked over to him, and Ty prepared himself for the worse. But instead Sam said, “I wanted to be mad at you, but it’s hard to do it when you’re standing here looking so adorable.”

Ty exhaled in relief and took the hand that Sam had reached to him. “I’ll get someone else to pick him up next time,” he said. “I’m really, really sorry.”

“So, is it safe to assume that Kit will not interrupt any romantic moments anymore?”

Ty nodded, and then Sam pulled him closer. Ty closed his eyes and pressed his lips on Sam’s, and Sam returned his kiss, opening his mouth under his.

_I hate Firedouche._

Kit’s words echoed in Ty’s mind and he tried to chase them away, determined not to let Kit ruin another romantic moment, just as he had promised Sam.

“Do you want to -?” Sam panted.

“Yes,” Ty pushed him back and pinned him against the wall, intending to pick up where they had left last night. Sam’s hands found themselves on the button of Ty’s black jeans -

A loud sound of breaking glass made Sam jump, and Ty’s Shadowhunter instincts kicked in immediately. He got into a fighting stance, pulling out the dagger strapped to his thigh and pushing Sam behind him to shield him from a possible attack. But Ty was absolutely perplexed – and furious - to see that the interruption was caused by _Kit_.

“Sam, I see you’re being a true professional,” Kit said. “Were you checking Ty’s vital signs?”

Ty felt himself blushing as he put the dagger back. Rationally, he knew that he didn’t have anything to be embarrassed about – Sam was his boyfriend and they could do whatever they wanted – but still, it felt wrong that Kit had seen them like this.

“Can I help you with anything?” Sam asked Kit politely, and Ty couldn’t help but admire his boyfriend’s composure.

“I don’t know, can you?” Kit asked smugly. “Or are you too busy trying to get into Ty’s pants?”

“Are you here about a case?” Ty asked, his gaze focused on Kit’s shoulder and his hand concealed in his pocket, squeezing Topher so hard the little pig toy must have been truly suffering.

Kit ignored him and addressed Sam instead. “I do have one question for you, though. How come you’re dating Ty? You got tired of making out with maggots, so you decided to try Shadowhunters?”

What the hell was wrong with Kit?! He had made out with countless girls and guys, most of whom he didn’t even remember thanks to copious amounts of alcohol. Why would he react like that when Ty was making out with his _boyfriend_? Which, it should be noted, Ty had gotten because Kit had insisted he should do so.

“Kit, do you have a case to discuss with Sam?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady. “Because if not, I want you to leave.”

“Fine!” Kit turned around and slammed the door behind him.

Ty exhaled behind gritted teeth. “I don’t know what’s wrong with him!” he shouted. “What does he want from me?”

Sam was quiet for a moment. “I think he’s jealous,” he finally said.

Ty turned to him. “Do you think he has feelings for you? What should I do?”

“No, I don’t think he has feelings for me,” Sam replied. “I think he was just used to have you around all the time, and he might be jealous that you’re spending more time with me now.”

Ty considered this for a moment. “He shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

***

He found Kit in the training room, throwing daggers without even bothering to aim them correctly. If Emma was here, she would have suffered a heart attack.

Kit turned around abruptly when he heard Ty getting close, and Ty expected to hear an apology, but Kit remained infuriatingly quiet.

“Why are you so mean to Sam?”

“What are you talking about? I’m delightful.”

_Stubborn. To. A. Fault._

“Stop it, Kit. I’m being serious.”

“As am I.”

Ty was livid. He grabbed his wrist and turned him towards him abruptly and made him face him. They were only a few inches apart, and Ty could see all the freckles on Kit’s face, scattered like constellations on his cheeks. Kit’s eyes widened as Ty studied his face, and for some reason Ty was reminding of the night Kit first came to the institute. He had chosen an empty bedroom at random and slammed the door behind him. Ty had then spent days sleeping in front of his door.

Ty pulled him closer and Kit did not fight him. Memories came rushing through Ty’s mind in a blur. Kit, perched on a rafter, refusing to jump until Ty had promised to catch him. Kit, reading to him when he got a demoniac lung infection and had to stay at the infirmary. Kit, playing Livvy’s favorite childhood song on the piano for Ty’s birthday.

Ty snapped out of his dazed state.

“I like him,” he said. “A lot. So, why are you so rude to him? I have always been courteous to _your_ dates. Why can’t you do the same for me?”

Kit seemed to be taken aback. “I… I -”

“Unlike you, I don’t switch partners every other Tuesday,” Ty said spitefully. “Sam means a lot to me. Why can’t you be a good friend to me like I am to you?”

“He’s just… I don’t know.”

_But I do. You wanted me to stay single forever because you need someone to bail you out whenever you make stupid decisions._

“It was you who insisted that I start seeing someone, wasn’t it?” Ty reminded him angrily.

“Yes.”

“I told you it was not easy for me. That it might be too much work,” Ty continued accusingly. “But you insisted.”

“I did.”

“Well, I finally found someone who’s worth the work. Someone I actually like. So, what’s your problem? What more do you want from me?”

Kit tried to free himself, but Ty was determined not to let him go. He pulled him closer until their faces were only inches apart.

“I don’t… I - ”

“What more do you want?”

Kit remained stubbornly silent, so Ty put his free hand under Kit’s chin and forced him to look up.

“What more do you want, Kit?” Ty repeated the question, desperate to finally get an answer. “What do you want?”

Ty’s world had rules and order. It was based on logic and reason. But right now - as Kit stood so close Ty could smell his cologne and feel the warmth of his body - all rationality had left him, and he didn’t know what _he_ wanted anymore. He was pressing Kit to give him an answer, but he felt that he wouldn’t like anything that Kit could say. Why was he so infuriating?

“Nothing, Ty, I’m sorry,” Kit mumbled. “You’re right. I haven’t been a good friend and you deserve better. I’ll be nicer to him, I promise.”

“Thank you.” He couldn’t rationalize why, but Ty was disappointed by Kit’s answer.

He studied Kit’s freckles again. He had them memorized a long time ago, but new ones appeared from time to time. Kit’s face was an ever-changing landscape, with new freckles and new expressions and new emotions every day. Ty almost smiled when he found a new freckle above Kit’s upper lip, so faint he couldn’t have seen it if he was standing just an inch farther. Ty’s gaze flickered to Kit’s lips -

“My… hand,” Kit said.

Ty jumped. “What?”

“You’re still holding my wrist.”

Ty regained his senses. “Yes. Of course. Sorry,” he said quickly before running out of the room, trying to create as much distance between him and Kit as he possibly could.

_I hate Firedouche._

_Because he kissed you._

Ty put on his headphones, trying to drown out Kit’s voice that echoed in his head.

 

**TIL that I’m in love with Ty**

Ty had invited Sam to dinner at the institute and the night went great. Everyone was fond of Sam, conversation flowed easily, and Kit had clearly made efforts to be agreeable.

As much as Ty wanted to, he found that he was unable to stay mad at Kit. In fact, after he calmed down, Ty realized that he shouldn’t have been surprised that Kit had acted so aggressively towards Sam; after all, he had always been protective of Ty. And now Ty was slightly mad at _himself_ for being so hard on Kit, but he couldn’t manage to tell him that.

“Your family is nice,” Sam said when they were back in his apartment.

Ty plopped on the couch. “I think you deserve some sort of medal for not hiding under the table when Emma asked you about your criminal history.”

She hadn’t believed Sam when he said he had none, and so she threatened to waterboard him until he told her the truth.

Sam laughed. “I did almost hide under the table, but Julian whispered reassuring words whenever she mentioned torture.”

Ty studied his face. “I like you,” he said. It wasn’t directly related to what Sam had just said, but it was true.

Sam squeezed his hand. “And I love you.”

Ty furrowed his brows in confusion. “You mean… _love_ love?”

“Yes, I mean that I’m in love with you,” Sam said, and Ty’s heart began beating faster. He was getting anxious. Should he say so in return? But did he really love him? He had never stopped to think about it, which might have been stupid because Sam was his boyfriend, so Ty felt like he should _know_ if he loved him or not –

“You don’t have to say it back,” Sam said quietly. “Whenever you’re ready.”

***

Ty couldn’t sleep. He lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to calm the turmoil inside of him. Sam was in love with him. Did Ty love him back? How does one even know that he’s in love? He wished someone would just tell him if he’s in love with Sam, because he found it hard to understand his own feelings.

Ty was frustrated; somehow, he felt like things should be… _easier_. He had always thought that one day he would meet someone who made things simpler, not more complicated. That he’ll just _know_ that he’s in love.

Finally, he gave up on sleeping. He was anxious and overwrought, and whenever he was in this mood there was only one person who could ground him.

He knocked on Kit’s door. He knew that his best friend would be asleep, but he also knew that Kit would gladly wake up for him as he seemed to rank Ty’s happiness above anything else.

Buy as Ty peeked into Kit’s room, he was surprised to find Kit not only awake, but sitting inside a pillow fort with Jaime and Mark, eating cookies.

“What are you doing?”

“We built the fort of sadness, and now we’re sitting in it and eating cookies,” Kit replied.

Ty stared at him, puzzled. “The fort of sadness?”

“Yes,” Mark answered. “It’s for sad people to sit in and be miserable together.”

Ty turned to his brother. “Why are you sad?”

“Because I’m in love with Kieran but he doesn’t love me back.”

“Oh.” Ty knew that Mark was in love with Kieran; he had said so at every possible opportunity. And if an opportunity did not present itself, Mark would make one, just so he could talk about Kieran some more. Ty had asked Kit once if he thinks that Kieran would ever return his brother’s feelings. Kit had replied that if Kieran didn’t - he would force him to.

“And why are you sad, Jaime?” Ty continued.

“Because Dru’s the perfect woman, and she’s dating someone else.”

Ty didn’t know that Jaime felt that way. Maybe he should have guessed it; Jaime hadn’t dated anyone else in almost a year and he seemed to be striving to spend as much time with Dru as he possibly could. He even tried to bribe Ty to switch patrols with him, so he could be paired with Dru more often. But then again, Ty couldn’t even figure out his own feelings, so how could he have figured out Jaime’s?

Ty remained quiet for a moment. Mark was sitting in the fort because he loved Kieran and Jaime was sitting in the fort because he loved Dru. But what was Kit doing there? He wasn’t sitting there because he had a broken heart, that much was certain. Maybe he had asked someone out and they refused him. Kit would become cross when people refused him; though admittedly people rarely did.

“And you?” Ty finally asked.

“Huh?” Kit seemed to have not been listening.

“Why are you sitting in the fort of sadness?” Ty clarified.

“Because Julian won’t buy me regular ice cream anymore, only low fat. He says I developed an addiction.”

Ty couldn’t understand if Kit was being serious or if this was a joke. “I’ve never seen you eat ice cream,” he said slowly. Cookies and chocolate – yes. But ice cream? Never.

“Maybe, by some weird coincidence, you keep missing it because Kit only eats it when you’re out with Sam,” Jaime suggested.

“It would be a very weird coincidence indeed.” Kit said.

Ty was still unsure if they were joking or not.

“Do you want to sit down with us?” Mark asked. “We’ll let you in, even though you’re not sad.”

The thing was, Ty _was_ sad. And unlike the others, he didn’t have a reason to be sad and that made him even sadder.

He sat down quietly next to Kit and took a cookie. “Chocolate chips are your favorites,” he said quietly.

Ty knew what Kit’s favorite cookies were, which books he liked ( _never_ anything written in the 19th century because, according to Kit, the 19th century authors were whiny), he knew what music he listened to depending on his mood (rock when he’s happy, solo guitarists when he’s sad), he knew how to calm him when he was angry (get him to go on a walk on the beach), he knew how to cheer him up when he was upset (give him chocolate, then watch a movie with him). Ty knew practically everything there was to know about Kit. But lately it felt as if there was an ocean of things that were left unsaid between them and they were slowly drifting apart.

He bit into the cookie, feeling even more miserable than he had five minutes earlier.

**TIL that Ty is falling for Firedouche**

Ty found Mark alone in the training room, practicing his archery.

“You’re in love with Kieran.”

Mark turned to him, the corners of his mouth pulled down. “Yes.”

“How did you know?”

“How did I know that I was in love with him?”

“Yes.”

Mark sighed. “He made me laugh. He noticed the little things about me and made me feel like I was… _important_. He made me want to go on a journey together and become the best versions of ourselves,” he said. “And when I’m with him, it feels like we have our own world.”

“Your own world,” Ty repeated slowly.

“Yes.” Mark nodded. “I miss him so much.”

Ty didn’t know what to say to make his brother feel better, but Mark didn’t seem to expect him to say anything.

“Ty,” he said solemnly. “Don’t repeat my mistake. If you ever fall in love with someone – don’t ever let them go.”

***

Mark’s answer was not helpful enough, because Ty _did_ feel all those things he said – but towards Kit, not towards Sam. Ty concluded that Mark’s criterions for love were not specific enough. So, he went to Emma.

“Emma, how do you know that you’re in love with Julian?”

Emma lifted her gaze, slightly surprised, but did not miss a beat before answering “When I’m with him I feel like I’m home.”

Ty frowned. When he was with Kit he felt like he was at home. Of course he did. Kit was his best friend. Emma’s answer was not helpful either.

***

“Jaime.”

Jaime lifted his eyes from his phone. “Well if it isn’t my favorite Ty-Ty. “He smiled. “What can I do for you?”

Ty took out Topher out of his pocket in a nervous gesture. “How do you know that you’re in love with Dru?”

Jaime’s eyes darkened and for a moment Ty thought that he was not going to answer him.

“I knew that I was in love when I realized that I just want to share everything with her,” he finally said, his voice a bit sad. “If I wake up in the morning feeling like shit – I tell her. If a mission went great – I tell her. If I see a dog on the street doing a funny face – I laugh, then tell her. I want to share everything with her, even the silence.” He took a deep breath. “Especially the silence.”

“Especially the silence,” Ty repeated. He always felt comfortable being silent with Kit. Other people expected him to talk more, but Kit never did.

“I have a test you can do,” Jaime said. “Go somewhere really pretty by yourself. Stargaze in the desert, or watch the sun rising over a mountain or something. If one of your first thoughts is ‘I wish Sam was here to see this’ then you probably love him.”

Ty was starting to get anxious; if he were to see a funny dog or a beautiful sunset, Ty would have wanted Kit to be there to see it was well. It was normal; Ty knew Kit longer than he knew Sam. There was no way that Jaime’s test could mean… no.

***

“Julian, how do you know that you’re in love with Emma?” Ty asked his brother, almost on the verge of panic.

Julian smiled. “Inner peace,” he said. “I don’t know how she does it, but she has a way of calming my demons. She stayed by my side through the toughest times. She saw me at my worst – and she stayed.”

“She stayed,” Ty echoed.

Kit saw Ty in his worst moments- and he stayed. After Livvy died, he saw Ty crying and shaking and screaming and falling apart every day anew for months. And he stayed. He didn’t leave Ty’s side, he stayed up night after night reading to him or talking about unimportant things to keep his mind occupied. He even tried to spoon feed him when Ty refused to eat. Most of the food usually ended on the floor, but Kit still seemed very happy when he did get some food into Ty.

During the last four years, he saw Ty having meltdowns and anxiety attacks when the world became too much to handle. Still, he stayed. He helped Ty ground himself, and he stayed. Even when Ty got sick of himself, Kit never lost his patience with him. He was always there.

“Yes,” Julian said. “I can’t imagine my life without her.”

Kit gave Ty inner peace. Kit stayed with him through the toughest times. He couldn’t imagine life without Kit.

Ty was now properly scared; the answers he got so far only confused him more. He knew that there was only one person he could turn to if he wanted to regain peace of mind.

***

“How do you know when you’re in love?” he asked his best friend for the third time. Kit did not seem keen to answer the question, but Ty was not going to let it go.

Kit lifted his eyes from the book. “I might not be the best person to ask this,” he said. “I never fell in love with anyone I dated.”

“Really?” Ty studied his face with relief.

It was reassuring to know that Kit wasn’t – and had never been – in love.

Ty had felt towards Kit all those things the others mentioned; Kit made him laugh, Kit made him feel like he was special, he wanted to share everything with Kit – everything he saw or thought, and especially the silences. Kit made him feel calm, Kit made him feel like he was at home. Ty wanted to spend as much time with him as he could. And he knew that Kit felt the same way about him – he always said so.

So, if Kit also felt that way, but he _wasn’t_ in love with Ty, then Ty wasn’t in love with him either - it was just regular friends’ stuff.

Simple deduction.

And taking the reasoning a step further - Ty did have feelings for Sam, which were different from the feelings he had towards Kit. And if he didn’t love Kit – he probably loved Sam.

Another simple deduction. Everything was starting to make sense again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is titled "Through Gray Eyes (Part III)". Watch as Ty finishes reading Kit's notebook...


	16. Through Gray Eyes (Part III)

**TIL that I should leave Ty alone**

Nothing made sense anymore.

First, Kit was avoiding Ty and trying to get out of going on missions with him. Second, ever since Ty had first realized that Kit was beautiful, he seemed unable to _stop_ thinking about it. Things were made worse when Emma had sent them on a mission to gather intel at a gala and when Ty descended the stairs, he saw Kit in a navy-blue suit which emphasized his broad shoulders and made his eyes shine like blue sapphires.

Kit’s beard made it even harder to concentrate because it made him look like a Nordic god. Why did he have to grow it out? Probably for the same reason he sat in the fort. He probably asked someone out, they refused him, so Kit sat in the fort and had reached the conclusion that he should grow out a beard because no one would be able to turn down a date with Thor. Logical conclusion. No mystery in Ty’s life could remain unsolved.

“Do I look okay?” Ty asked him, feeling self-conscious.

Kit didn’t even seem to be listening to him; he just stared at Ty without saying a word, probably scheming, trying to think of the best way to court the person who refused him.

“Do I look okay?” Ty asked again, trying not to let his anxiousness show.

Kit was still infuriatingly quiet, so Dru reassured him that he looked alright.

***

“Don’t forget, we’re just here to gather intel,” Ty reminded him. You could never be too safe with Kit; when he got bored, he tended to crave action.

“Don’t worry, I’m not about to take out my daggers and ran amok.”

Ty pulled him closer. “Good. Let’s keep on dancing. I have a good view of them from here.”

They were supposed to be a couple tonight since it would make it easier – and more believable – to walk around the venue together and gather information. Ty had spotted the men they were looking for, and the dance floor provided the best point of view. Luckily, Kit had taught him how to dance years ago, at Emma and Julian’s wedding.

_I am a devotee of the philosophy that no relationship should last longer than a month. After that, it’s practically marriage. And who in their right minds would want that?_

Kit had said that before disappearing in the bushes with some girl he had met a few minutes earlier. The memory made Ty feel angry for reasons he could not quite comprehend.

And why was Kit pulling away again? First he was avoiding him, and now he couldn’t even dance with him? Ty was getting more and more frustrated by the second. What an absolutely terrible evening.

“Stop pulling away,” Ty whispered as he pulled Kit closer. “We’re supposed to be a couple!”

Kit did not pull away again.

“Yes, we’re supposed to be a couple,” he whispered back.

He pressed his nose to Ty’s collarbone and Ty was overwhelmed as he felt shivers running down his spine when Kit touched him. He hoped Kit hadn’t noticed.

Then Kit passed his fingers through Ty’s hair and suddenly the blood turned into fire in Ty’s veins and his heart was beating so fast it was almost painful. He had never felt that way; it was as if his body was not his anymore – it only obeyed Kit.

_How did he do that?_

“That’s… That’s convincing,” Ty managed to say.

Apparently, Kit took this mission very seriously; after agreeing that they should pretend to be a couple he changed his attitude completely and Ty was feeling his sanity slowly leave him as they moved together on the dancefloor.

They were standing so close, and Kit smelled like home, and Ty couldn’t help but think back on Emma’s words. _When I’m with him I feel like I’m home._ He tried not to read too much into it.

Suddenly, Kit brushed his lips on his neck.

Ty had never felt anything like this before. Even though he knew it wasn’t real, even though he realized Kit had only done so for the sake of the mission, Ty still felt as if every ounce of breath was rushed from his lungs and all his knots came undone.

He swallowed and pulled away, trying to regain his composure, and studied Kit’s face, disappointed to see that his expression was blank. Then Kit looked back at him and Ty averted his gaze quickly.

“Your beard makes you look like Thor,” he blurted out.

_Why? Why would you say that?!_

“Is that good or bad?” Kit asked.

Despite himself, Ty smiled. “Good.”

Of course it was _good_. Everything about Kit was good.

“It’s nice,” Ty said, before he could stop himself.

“What is?”

“Dancing together,” Ty replied honestly. He realized that he might be saying too much but he couldn’t help it.

“It is,” Kit agreed.

Ty looked at him and was suddenly struck by the realization that not only he found Kit beautiful, he was in fact incredibly attracted to him, both physically and emotionally. He had never felt that way about anyone, including Sam. Ty could swear the world had stopped, leaving just the two of them dancing together, and he found himself wishing the night would never end so he could hold Kit for eternity. Was this what falling in love was like? A story you never wanted to end?

Dammit, what was wrong with him? How could he think those things about Kit? Not only was he his best friend, he was also the last person on earth who would ever reciprocate such feelings. Kit thought relationships were a waste of time and love was just a made-up concept used to stick suckers together.

But wait.

It wasn’t Ty’s fault.

It wasn’t Kit’s fault either.

It was the _situation_.

The venue was gorgeous. The music was romantic. Being dressed in suits instead of the usual Shadowhunter gear was exciting. Pretending to be a couple was – inevitably – intoxicating. It was the _situation_ that made Ty feel those things, not _Kit_. And taking this reasoning one step further, he could reproduce these exact feelings with Sam, given the right setting.

“Maybe I should take Sam dancing sometime,” he said.

Kit seemed to agree.

 

**I know you’ll read this. We’re here for you. Please, talk to us. – Jaime**

Kit wasn’t there when Ty woke up. He wasn’t there when he finally left the infirmary after two days, either. He wasn’t there when Ty got down for breakfast the next morning, he wasn’t there when Ty resumed his training, and he hadn’t been there any day since.

Ty had tried to talk to him, but Kit had said that he needed space, and he had avoided Ty ever since. It drove Ty mad. He couldn’t focus on anything else. Not on his training, not on his missions, not even on his boyfriend.

Then Kit got hurt.

Ty woke up in the middle of the night hearing whispers in the corridor. Normally such quiet voices wouldn’t have woken him up, but his sleep had been exceptionally light lately.

He opened the door and glanced outside. Julian and Emma were standing in the corridor, speaking quietly. “What happened?” he asked Julian, yawning.

“Nothing, Ty-Ty,” Julian said quickly. “Go back to sleep.”

Ty was about to turn around, when he realized that Emma and Julian were standing in front of _Kit’s room_.

“What happened to Kit?” he asked, immediately alarmed.

“It’s alright. Go back to bed,” Julian repeated.

Ty walked over to them, his heart pounding. “Let me see him.”

“He’s fine. He’s asleep.”

Whatever happened to Kit, it was clear that Julian did not want Ty to see it.

“Let me see him!”

“He had a small run-in with werewolves,” Julian finally gave him some information. “But he’s fine, he’s asleep. Jaime is in there with him.”

“Move,” Ty told his brother. “I’m going to see him.”

Julian did not move. So, Ty made him. He grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him backwards, then swept his leg behind his ankle while he pushed. Julian did not see the attack coming. In a way, Ty’s _anomaly_ was an advantage because they all thought of him as a detective and a scholar, so no one ever expected him to strike.

Julian fell to the ground and in a fraction of a second Ty already had his hand on the doorknob –

He fell to the ground, yelling in pain, as Emma restrained him.

“Calm down,” she said as he tried to fight her. “Everything is fine. Kit will be up tomorrow, you can see him then.”

But he didn’t see Kit the following day. Emma had sent him on patrol with Alec. _Alec_. Ty never discovered why.

The day after he did see Kit, though, only to find out that he adopted a cat.

_A cat_.

Ty became insanely jealous. Now, if he was a _normal_ person, he would have been jealous of Kit because Ty had begged Julian for years to let him have a pet, but Julian refused since Shadowhunters rarely had pets.

But Ty was not a normal person.

He was not jealous of Kit; he was jealous of the _cat_ , because Kit walked around the institute hugging it like a baby, caressing it, speaking softly in his ears. And whenever Kit wasn’t holding his kitten it followed him around and Ty was getting more and more angry because _he_ wanted to follow Kit around until he gave him a reasonable explanation as to why the hell he had suddenly decided to throw away their friendship.

So, there Ty was. A Shadowhunter, a warrior covered with runes and battle scars, trained in Krav Maga (and four other mundane fighting traditions), and jealous of a cat.

He became obsessed with Kit, trying to rationalize his behavior, aiming to understand his feelings. It was all in vain. Ty had no idea what was going on, but of one thing he was certain – he hated it.

Finally, Sam had called him over and Ty suspected he knew where the conversation was going. He had been a terrible boyfriend, preoccupied by a man who ignored him instead of caring for the one who loved him.

“I think we should break up,” Sam said solemnly.

“You don’t love me anymore?”

“Sadly, I still do,” Sam replied. “But it’s for the best that we end our relationship.”

Ty bit his lower lip. “You’re going to say that it’s not me, it’s you.”

Kit had told him that it was the polite thing to say whenever you broke up with someone.

“Actually, no,” Sam said sadly. “It _is_ you.”

Ty was surprised by his forwardness.

“Your heart belongs to someone else,” Sam continued. “I can’t be the person you settle for. We both deserve more than that.”

“What are you talking about?” Ty asked, frustrated. “My… my heart… it doesn’t… what?”

Sam shook his head. “I hope we can still remain friends. Not quite yet, but someday. When it stops hurting.”

“No! I don’t understand,” Ty said miserably.

“You should talk to Kit.”

Ty left the lab, feeling lonely and inconsolable. _Talk to Kit_. Ty snorted. Kit would rather entertain a conversation with a rock with Ty.

***

One night, desperate and lonely and miserable, Ty leaned against Kit’s door and sank down. Four years ago, he sat down in this exact spot, listening to Kit crying on the other side of the door. Ty couldn’t rationalize to himself why he had decided then to stay there for days waiting for Kit to come out. If he had believed in faith, he would have thought that maybe some part of him knew what Kit would become to him one day. But Ty didn’t believe in faith; only in pragmatism.

He leaned his head against the dark wood. “Sam broke up with me,” he said, even though Kit couldn’t hear him. He was probably asleep, or up cuddling his cat; but unlike Ty, he was not pathetic enough to sit on the floor leaning against the door.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” Ty asked, knowing he won’t get an answer. “I don’t know why you’re mad at me. But whatever I did, I never meant to make you upset.”

He knew that Kit couldn’t hear him, but still he couldn’t help but being disappointed at the silence.

“Please talk to me. I miss you and I… I can’t do anything without you. I never told you, but you’re the biggest part of me and I’m lost without you.”

He then realized that he was crying.

_I’m so stupid. I’m pathetic. I’m a joke._

Kit hated to hear Ty speaking like that about himself. Sometimes Ty would sink into melancholy, wishing he was like everyone else. “I’m a joke,” he would say. “I can’t perform basic tasks. I can’t understand people, I can’t speak to more than one person at a time. They all think I’m crazy.” But whenever he would berate himself, Kit would somehow manage to pull him out of his depressive loop. But Kit wasn’t talking to him, so Ty kept lashing at himself.

_He probably got sick of you._

“I wish I knew how to make you talk to me again,” he said, his voice echoing in the empty hallway. “I wish you missed me as much as I miss you. I wish I was as important to you as you are to me.”

Because Kit was. He was the most important thing in Ty’s life.

“Do you remember the mission Emma sent us on? I wish we could go back to that. I would hold you on that dancefloor. I would tell you how much I need you. I would tell you that you’re the kindest person I know, even if you don’t think so. I would tell you that you’re beautiful. I would tell you that –“

And he finally realized.

_I’m in love with him._

It all made sense now.

This was what was wrong with him. All this confusion. The obsession. The reactions to Kit’s flirtatious remarks to Jaime. Sam’s reason of breaking up with him. The hole that was left of him when Kit walked out of his life. The questioning of his own feelings, of his ability to be in love. The answer was in front of him all along, he was just to blind to see it. He had belonged to Kit from the start.

 

**TIL that fruit flies were the first living creatures to be sent into space**

Ty let another week pass before he told his family that Sam broke up with him. He knew that if he told them, they would inevitably ask why, and Ty would have to answer because he was never able to hide the truth.

Then one day he found them all gathered in the kitchen and Kit wasn’t there, and Ty figured that it was as good a moment as any.

“I need to tell you something.”

They all stopped talking and Ty could feel them staring at him. But instead of telling them the news, he first had to make sure –

“Is Kit spending the night outside?”

There was an odd silence before Dru finally answered. “He… um… doesn’t do that anymore.”

Ty was confused. “Then is he up in his room? Did he drink too much last night?”

Another odd silence. Ty was starting to get frustrated.

“He doesn’t do that anymore, either,” Julian said slowly.

“But you can talk to us about whatever you want,” Emma said quickly. “He’s upstairs with his book and his cat, he won’t come out again for at least another two hours.”

Ty took a deep breath. “Sam broke up with me –“

“What?” Dru cried out.

“When?” Jaime asked.

“But… why?!” Emma yelled.

Ty’s stomach clenched. He took another deep breath. “Because I’m in love with Kit.”

They all started to speak at the same time and the noise overwhelmed him.

“WHAT?!” Someone cried out, but Ty couldn’t tell who, and someone else yelled “for fuck’s sake how did I miss that!”

“Shhh,” Julian shushed them all and Ty’s mind stopped buzzing.

“I feel like we’ve already had this conversation before,” Perfect Diego said when the chatter died out.

Ty was confused. “No, we haven’t,” he said slowly.

“No, we haven’t!” Julian agreed quickly.

“Why didn’t you tell us?!” Jaime yelled.

“I didn’t know,” Ty replied miserably. “Which is stupid, because it’s obvious.”

“No, it isn’t!” Jaime protested.

“Seriously, we had this _exact_ same conversation with the roles switch – ow!” Perfect Diego cried out when Christina kicked him in the chin. Ty never understood their relationship.

“Are you going to tell him?” Christina asked quietly. Ty had always appreciated her gentleness.

“I don’t think so,” Ty replied sadly. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Emma made a weird strangled sound. “Why would that ruin your friendship?” Her voice sounded strained, but Ty could not figure out the emotion behind it. It was probably anger – Emma was very hot-tempered – though Ty could not understand why she would be angry.

“Because he doesn’t feel the same way about me and it would make things weird between us.”

Emma made another odd sound, kind of like a growl, and then Julian put his hand on her mouth and said instead “How do you know if you never asked him?”

“Because he doesn’t want what I do! I want to… I want to be… I want _him_ to be… but he thinks relationships are a waste of time!”

He lifted his eyes to see that Dru was squeezing Jaime’s hand so tight it brought tears to his eyes. _Weird_.

“Maybe he changed his mind,” Jaime said between gritted teeth.

“That doesn’t sound very probable.”

“Maybe it is, though,” Mark spoke, then immediately bit his lower lip. Kieran patted his back.

They were all behaving very strangely, and Ty was starting to think he was missing something.

“Ty, what do _you_ want?” Julian asked him.

Ty passed his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. “I want to be with him.”

“Fucking tell him, then!” Emma yelled.

“I don’t think he wants to talk to me,” Ty said quietly. “He’s avoiding me.”

“Maybe he has reasons to do so,” Christina replied gently. “Maybe he doesn’t know how important he is to you, so he’s been keeping his distance because he thinks that this is what you want. You should show him how you truly feel.”

_He thinks that I don’t want him in my life?_

“How do you show someone you love them?” Ty asked her. “I think I’m failing.”

Whatever Christina was about to say was cut off by a mew.

_Kit’s cat._

“Kit?” Jaime called.

Ty’s heart skipped a beat as Kit stepped forward, holding his cat in one hand and an empty bowl in the other.

“I’m just here for cat food,” Kit said.

_How much did he hear?_ Probably nothing; if he would have heard something he would have said so – Kit was never good at keeping things quiet.

Ty watched as he poured some cat food into the bowl and then left without looking back.

“Mark, I can’t –“ Jaime began.

“No, I can’t either – “

“Ty, there’s something you should know,” Jaime said very quickly, as if the words escaped his lips without his permission. “Kit is leaving.”

Ty’s world shut down around him. “He’s… leaving?”

“For his travel year,” Julian confirmed. “First to New York, then to Mexico.”

“Ah.” Was all Ty managed to say in response. “Then it doesn’t really matter how I feel.”

“Yes, it does!” Emma yelled.

“He’s leaving so clearly he doesn’t –“

“You should go talk – “ Jaime tried.

“But he’s leaving!” Ty protested. “He doesn’t want – “

“I’ve had enough of this folly!” Kieran, who kept quiet until this point, seemed to have broken down. “Mark, please drag this fool upstairs and make him communicate with the other fool.”

Jaime and Mark glanced at each other before grabbing Ty’s arms and dragging him up the stairs.

“I don’t know what to say to him!” Ty protested.

“You’ll figure it out,” Jaime replied.

“Wait here,” Mark told him when they reached Kit’s room. They knocked, and Ty could hear Kit tell them to come in, and then the door closed quickly.

He took out his little squishy pig toy and began playing with it nervously. Was it possible that Kit felt the same? And what if he didn’t, and Ty would make a fool out of himself and ruin their friendship? And what did it matter anyway, if Kit was leaving, and god, what would Ty do without him?

Jaime opened the door again. “Ty, come in.”

*******

Ty closed the notebook and placed it carefully next to him. Kit was sitting quietly on the other end of the bed, and Ty knew that he must have been studying his reactions anxiously.

“Why didn’t you come?” Ty asked.

Kit lifted his eyes. “What?”

“When I got hurt. You didn’t come to visit me,” Ty said, his voice trembling. “And then you just stopped talking to me. You never even told me why. And then I heard you got hurt, but they wouldn’t let me see you. And then you got a cat. And then you decided to leave for your travel year. Without me. And you didn’t even tell me; I had to hear it from Jaime.”

“I’m sorry,” Kit mumbled. “When you got hurt, I… I sort of lost it. And then it was implied that you’d be better off without me in your life, because all I do is mess up and get drunk and call you and fall in love with you when you clearly don’t feel the same way.

“I was there at the infirmary with you when the silent brothers healed you. But it was my fault. I knew it. The… the last mission we went on together… we were supposed to pretend to be a couple and I got carried away. I’ve wanted it for so long, and even though I knew it was a lie, that it was just pretense… I got carried away. I didn’t pay attention and I let you walk right into a trap. I couldn’t forgive myself. I still can’t. I realized that it might be best for you not to have me in my life.

“I tried to let you go. I wanted what’s best for you. But I couldn’t -”

Kit stopped talking, and for a moment Ty thought he wouldn’t continue, but then Storm came to rub herself on his legs, as if trying to give him strength, and he took a deep breath and kept going.

“I gave up on everything. The only reason I ever held it together was you, and when I walked away from you, I lost every reason to be. You were the best thing in my life. Ever since you sat outside my door four years ago, you have been the center of my world. I’m sorry that I feel that way. You probably think that I’m crazy and clingy.

“I wanted to numb myself. I began drinking more and more. I went on a mission with Julian and I didn’t listen to any of the safety procedure and I nearly got myself killed, so Emma had to suspend me. Julian realized I was spiraling so he forbade me to leave the institute, but I left anyway because I had to drink. I let myself go, I spent entire days drunk, I never called anyone to pick me up and sometimes I would lay unconscious for hours in an alley somewhere until someone found me. I begged them not to tell you. I didn’t want you to worry about me; I just wanted you to be happy.

“I provoked werewolves and they beat me up. I didn’t try to fight them. Some part of me wanted them to beat me up. They left me in an alley and Julian and Emma found me and took me home. Now I realize that they didn’t want to let you see me because they knew it would make me sink even deeper.

“Storm was with me when they found me, and I think Julian let me keep her as sort of a therapy cat. He knew how lonely I was, and I think he knew that Storm would help me fight the emotional dependence on alcohol.

“Julian held an intervention for me. He even called Jace. They sent you on patrol to make sure you wouldn’t see it. Then they all helped me get clean, and we agreed that I should leave because I’m not strong enough to stay and watch us drift apart.”

Ty’s mind tried to process Kit’s words, but he felt overwhelmed by the amount of information Kit had filled him on.

“I’m sorry,” Kit muttered. “About everything. I know you don’t feel the same way about me, and I’m sorry I fucked everything up because I couldn’t accept it. But if you’d like – I still want to be your friend. I always will. I… I hope you can forgive me one day. I promise I won’t ever be mean to the person you choose to date. I was jealous, and I was stupid, and you deserve better. I’ll support you in whatever you choose and I… I just want you to stay in my life. Please.”

Ty studied Kit’s face. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes and his hands were trembling, and he so looked crumpled and miserable it made Ty’s heart ache and he had to tell him the truth.

“Kit, he was right to break up with me.”

The words had an immediate effect; from dejected Kit instantaneously turned to furious. “No, he fucking wasn’t! Why would –“

“He said that my heart belonged to someone else,” Ty said. “And he was right.”

Kit froze. “W- What?”

Ty moved closer and gently took Kit’s hand. Kit was trembling, and Ty held his hand tight in a manner he hoped was reassuring.

“Ty, what are you saying?” Kit barely managed to get the words out, he was shaking so hard now, as if he just got pulled out of an ice lake.

Ty placed Kit’s hand right above his own heart. “I’m saying that I love you, too.”

Kit inhaled sharply, and Ty lifted his gaze to study his face, trying to figure out his reaction. For a while Kit did not say anything. Ty was getting increasingly stressed and he was sure that Kit could feel his heartbeat through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. Finally, Kit pulled his hand away.

“Ty, don’t,” he whispered. “Don’t say something just because you think that this is what I need to hear, or because you think that it will make me stay. Please. You have no idea… You have no idea how deep my love for you is. You’re my whole world, and I… I’m barely holding it together as it is… and if you’re just leading me on it would break me. To pieces. So please, I’m begging you, please don’t say something you don’t really mean.”

Ty cupped Kit’s cheek in his hand and passed his thumb slowly over it. “I mean it, Kit. I’m in love with you.”

“But Sam –“

“Sam’s great. But he’s not you. No one is you.” Ty’s fingers lingered on Kit’s beard. “You’re the only one who can make me laugh. You’re the only one that can ground me when I’m overwhelmed. You’re the only one that can get me to see the world from a different perspective – to _understand_ the world from a different perspective. You’re the only one I want to share my deepest thoughts with. You’re the one I want to go to the beach with, you’re the one I want to watch movies with, you’re the one I want to hold and never let go. And at the end of the day, there is no one else I would rather come home to.”

Ty’s hands found themselves in Kit’s hair. He tangled golden curls between his fingers; Kit’s hair was soft, just like Ty had imagined it would be. He was so lost in the sensation, he barely noticed that he might be saying a bit too much.

“It… it took me a while to understand that this is how I feel,” he said, absent mindedly. “But I love you so, so much and I… I really want to kiss you. Truthfully, I haven’t been able to think about anything else these past few days. I kept imaging how it would feel, how soft your lips would be, and if your beard would scratch me, and –“

His reflections were cut off when Kit reached a hand and slid it though his hair, pressing his fingers into his scalp and sending shivers down his spine. He leaned in closer and pressed a soft, chaste kiss to Ty’s lips.

Ty barely had time to form a coherent thought before Kit pressed their lips together again and slid his tongue into Ty’s mouth so sweetly that Ty thought he might swoon. Then Kit’s other hand came to cup Ty’s cheek, his thumb rubbing gently over Ty’s cheekbones, and their mouths moved together as Kit kissed him again and again and Ty kept kissing him back until he was overcome with the thought that _this_ was what he always thought kissing should be like. His heart was racing, his head was spinning, he felt sparks on his skin wherever Kit touched him. This was it.

Kit pulled away first, and Ty knew him well enough to realize that he was anxious to make sure that Ty was okay, scared that he had overwhelmed him.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Ty said, grinning like mad.

“I can’t believe it, either.” Kit was grinning back, and it was the most beautiful thing Ty had ever seen.

They were still holding hands, and Ty passed his thumb slowly over the back of Kit’s hand. “Can we do it again?”

“For as long as you want.”


	17. TIL that wood-eating insects are researched for use in the production of biofuel

The alarm clock on Ty’s phone went off, but for the first time in four years he did not jump of the bed. Instead, he pulled Kit closer to him and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

They had spent most of last night kissing and the rest of it cuddling and talking, until finally Kit snuggled up against Ty, resting his head on his chest, and Storm snuggled next to Ty’s head, and the three of them drifted to sleep.

“We should go down for breakfast,” Kit mumbled sleepily into Ty’s shoulder. “The rest must be dying to hear what happened.”

“I think it’s not too hard to deduce, given the fact that I spent the night in your room.”

Kit opened his eyes and blinked rapidly. “Those are words I never would have thought I would hear from you.”

Ty laughed, and Kit felt himself falling for him all over again.

When they finally got down the rest were already in the kitchen, flashing knowing smiles.

“Soooooo,” Jaime said. “Did you two finally see reason?”

In response, Kit took Ty’s hand in his.

He was prepared for the noise that ensued but it was still overwhelming; Emma’s whistling, Christina’s squealing, Jaime and Dru’s cheering, Mark and Kieran ( _did he also spend the night here?_ ) clapping, Perfect Diego’s perfect silence (sadly, following Kit’s night of gossiping with Emma and Christian, he knew exactly what _could_ make Diego loud), and Julian’s knowing smile.

When the noise died out (and Ty’s slightly nervous hold on Kit’s hand loosened a bit) they sat down and Emma said, “does this mean you’re finally shaving off the beard?”

Kit glanced at Ty. “What do you think?”

Ty leaned in and whispered in his ear “I like your beard.”

Kit grinned. “The beard stays!”

Jaime raised a glass of orange juice. “To the beard!”

“To the beard!” the rest echoed.

Kit knew he must have looked stupid, with this huge smile plastered on his face, but he was just so unbelievably _happy_ he didn’t care.

“I’ll make your coffee,” he told Ty, before kissing his cheek. “Do you also want toasts?” he added, glancing at the usual pile of triangular toasts Perfect Diego made for Christina.

“Yes, please.” Ty grinned.

“Don’t forget to cut them into triangles,” Perfect Diego said, not lifting his eyes from his newspaper. “If you love someone, you always cut his toasts into triangles.”

“You always cut mine into triangles,” Christina said, looking at him suspiciously.

“Yes,” Diego replied tonelessly.

Kit sat back down slowly. For a while, no one spoke. Then Ty whispered in Kit’s ear “He means he loves her, right?” and Kit nodded discreetly.

“Ah,” Christina finally said.

“For fuck’s sake,” Kit said out loud. “Don’t pretend that you, me, and Emma haven’t spent an entire night talking about him. If you don’t tell him how you feel, I swear to god I will.”

He was getting tired of pushing together all those love-sick idiots. First Jaime, then Kieran, and now Tina. Bunch of stupid and blind cretins. But then again, he had been just as blind, so he didn’t really have the high ground here if we were being honest.

His words seemed to have had the desire effect on Christina, though, because she blurted out “I still love you, too.”

Perfect Diego had clearly not anticipated her reaction. He cleared his throat. “G-Great. We can… if you want, of course, um…” he mumbled incoherently. “Do you? I mean, do you, um… do you want…”

“To go on a date with him?” Kit said.

“Yes,” Christina said quietly.

“Great,” Kit said. “There’s this nice little Italian place, I’ll text you the address. He’ll meet you at the front door at seven.”

“Ok.”

For the reminder of breakfast, they were both grinning like a couple of idiots – almost like Kit and Ty were.

“Ty, I need your help with my case,” Emma said when they had all finished eating. “Kit, Jaime, don’t forget you have the first shift. Julian, Mark – you’re have the second.”

They all got up and headed to the training room or to tend to their assignments, and Ty gave Kit a brief kiss on the lips before following Emma to the library.

“I have to go somewhere,” Kit told Jaime when it was just the two of them.

“We’re patrolling in an hour.”

“I know. There’s just something I need to do first.”

*******

He found Sam in the lab working on a reaction in a fume hood, his brown hair mussed and his face paler than usual.

“Hey,” Kit said quietly.

Sam put down his Erlenmeyer and turned around, looking pained. “Mr. Herondale. What can I do for you?”

He looked tired and thinner than Kit had remembered him. Clearly, he had a hard time dealing with the breakup.

Kit studied his face, slightly embarrassed. For months he had treated Sam poorly, even though the only thing he had ever done was to fall in love with Ty - and Kit could hardly blame him for his impeccable taste.

“Thank you,” Kit finally blurted out.

Sam looked surprised by Kit’s words. “What for?”

“Everything.”

They remained silent for a few moments, studying each other, and then Sam adjusted his glasses, hand trembling slightly. “I feel like I should say ‘you’re welcome’ now, but honestly I don’t feel like it.”

“I know,” Kit said quietly. He _did_ know. He knew how unbearably miserable Sam must be, because he had felt that way for months, loving Ty and knowing he doesn’t feel the same way.

“For what it’s worth – I’m sorry,” Kit continued quietly. “And… you’re a good guy. I wanted you to know that.

Sam gave him a small, crooked smile. “Thanks.”

*******

Kit and Jaime had been patrolling for two hours already, and yet Kit still hadn’t managed to stop talking.

“So then we stayed up all night talking, and I told him everything, and it was the craziest thing – do you remember the assignment Emma sent us on, at the gala? Turns out he felt the same way! He wanted to keep dancing with me, can you believe that?”

Jaime chuckled. “I think I can.”

“He’s so amazing, Jaime. I can’t believe he chose me. I can’t mess it – what?”

Jaime grinned. “Nothing! I’m just so happy for you. I hated seeing you so miserable before.”

“Shadowhunter!”

They both turned around to see a blonde girl approaching them.

“Oh, no,” Kit muttered.

“What is it?” Jaime asked, alarmed.

“Remember that girl I told you about, who happened to be the girlfriend of the least friendly werewolf on earth?”

“Kit,” Ania said as she came to stand in front of them. “Remember me?”

“Get away from me!” Kit said. “That’s twice now that your boyfriend kicked my ass. I don’t need a third time.”

“I –“

“Also, he keeps calling me _fuckface_ and I don’t like it!”

“Aw, he as a special nickname for you,” Jaime cooed. Kit shot him a dark look.

“I wanted to apologize,” Ania said. “And he’s not my boyfriend. I went out on one date with him but the guy’s crazy. Anyway, he won’t bother you again. I made sure of that.”

“Did you send him to a farm to live a happy and fulfilling life?” Jaime raised an eyebrow.

“Something like that.”

Kit thought it was best not to ask too many questions.

“Anyway, I’m sorry,” she said again, then sighed heavily. “Why do I keep falling for these jerks?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Kit said quickly.

“Well, I’ll see you around,” she said.

Kit was glad to see the back of her, but then she muttered to herself “why is a good guy so hard to find?”

_A good guy._

Against his better judgment Kit called after her.

“What?” She turned around, confused.

“Could I get your phone number? There’s someone I want to introduce you to.”

*******

Kit found Ty in the library, helping Emma with one of her cases.

“No, look at the injuries on the victims’ bodies,” Ty told her, pointing at the report he held. “The pattern is not compatible with the previous attacks of Mara children.”

“Hey, bestie,” Kit said joyfully as he plumped down on the couch next to Ty.

Ty lifted his eyes and smiled at him. “I missed hearing you say that.”

“I missed –“

“Well aren’t you adorable,” Emma cut him off. “Now Ty, back to the case. You were saying that the pattern is not compatible with Mara children.”

“Actually, Emma, could you please give us a minute?” Kit asked, already fearing for his life.

Emma stared at him, her eyes dark, and Kit feared for his life some more, but then she smiled and said “One minute. Not a second more.”

“Yeah?” Ty said when she left.

Kit’s heart was racing, and he could feel his shirt sticking to him with sweat. Had he not been on the verge of an anxiety attack he would have laughed. There he was, Kit Herondale, who had asked dozens of people on dates before – afraid like an unexperienced kid asking out his crush for the first time.

“I asked Dru to take your patrol tonight,” Kit said, trying to keep his voice steady. “So, you have the night off.”

Ty furrowed his brows, and Kit wanted to kiss the wrinkle away. “Why?”

“Because I wanted to… um… I was hoping I could take you on a date. If – if you want.”

Ty bit his lower lip. “I’d like that,” he whispered.

Kit exhaled. “I almost had a meltdown there, thinking you would say no, by the way,” he said. “I’ll pick you up in an hour?”

“Sure.” Ty seemed amused. “I’ll wait right here.”

“Great. I’ll go take a shower.”

Ty seemed even more amused now; he bit his lower lip to hide a smile. “You want to shower. And when you want to shower – you sometimes do.”

Kit felt his face getting red as he was reminded of the day Ty had met Sam, and when they got back Kit said all sorts of weird things because Ty was so pretty it was distracting.

“I can’t believe I said that.” Kit covered his face with his hands. “Please don’t change your mind about dating me.”

“Never,” Ty said solemnly. “Also, I thought it was kind of cute.”

Kit peeked from between his fingers. “Like, sexy cute, or weird cute?”

“Both.” Ty smiled. “I love you.”

Kit’s heart fluttered against his ribs. “I love you too,” he whispered.

“Okay love birds, time’s over,” Emma cut off their exchange, striding back to the library with all the grace of an angry gorilla. “Ty, back to work.”

Still, she gave Kit a discreet high-five as he walked past her.

*******

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see.”

Kit had been planning this date in his head for months. He packed sandwiches, a blanket, a telescope, took Storm with a little harness and a leash on her so she wouldn’t get lost, and drove to the desert. When they arrived, the sun had already set, and the sky was a charcoal black, covered in millions of stars, shining like powdered diamonds.

“It’s beautiful,” Ty said as Kit lay down the blanket.

“You’re prettier.”

Ty came to sit next to Kit, and Storm cuddled lazily on his lap. He seemed lost in thoughts for a few minutes. “Jaime told me once that you can tell if you love someone by going to see something pretty, and then figuring out if your first thought is that you want the person in question to be here and see it as well,” he said quietly. “The test results clearly indicate that I love you.”

“No matter how many times I hear you say that, I still can’t believe it.”

“Me neither.”

Kit passed him the telescope. Ty took it and gazed upwards.

“Did you know that a single day on Venus is longer than an entire year on Earth?” Kit said. As planned, he had memorized astronomical facts to share with his best friend.

“I did,” Ty replied.

“I knew you would.” Kit kissed his cheek.

Ty set the telescope carefully aside, put Storm back down, and cupped Kit’s face in his hands. He kissed him, and Kit could feel his heart pounding in his chest. And then Ty was above him, holding himself up on all fours and making him reach for his mouth.

Soon their kiss became fiery and passionate, and Kit pulled Ty to him, feeling the weight of his body pressing him to the ground. Ty’s hands ventured over Kit’s body, exploring, and leaned in soft kisses along his jaw.

“Wait,” Kit panted under him. “I – I’ve never done this before,” he blurted out.

Ty froze, and Kit could feel himself blushing. Not only his cheeks, but his whole face turned red. Ty studied him with confusion but didn’t say anything.

“I mean, I had sex before,” Kit muttered. “But I never… Ty, I never made love to anyone.” He said the last words very quickly. “And honestly, it scares me. A lot. I love you so much, and I’m afraid to screw this up, and I want everything to be perfect for you. I never felt like that about anyone, and I don’t know how… how to do this right. But if you want, we can… I’ll do whatever you want because I love you. That’s what I’m trying to say.”

He let the words out, all his usual suave attitude gone, leaving Ty with this quieter, shyer version of him. A version that no one else had seen before.

Without a word, Ty got up, picked Storm in his arms, and opened the car door.

“No, wait!” Kit cried after him. “I didn’t mean – “

But Ty just put Storm gently on the car seat and then sat back down next to Kit. “I don’t want to ruin her innocence by letting her see what I’m about to do to you,” he explained.

For the first time in his life, Kit was speechless.

Under a sky of perfect midnight velvet, under stars so brilliant they seemed to dance along the sky in random patterns, Ty pinned Kit to the ground again.

*******

**A year and a half later…**

“They’re here!” Dru yelled as she opened the door. “Welcome back you guys!”

She pulled Kit into a bone-crushing hug.

“Okay, you can let go of me now,” Kit said, struggling to breath. Ty peeked carefully over Dru’s shoulder, Storm in his arms looking suspiciously at Dru and probably planning to attack. She remained protective of Kit, and even more so of Ty.

Soon the whole family came rushing to the door to greet them, and Kit was reminded how much he had missed the general loudness of the members of the LA institute.

Ty and he had spent the last fourteen months touring Japan: two months at the institute of Osaka, three in Kyoto, and the rest in Tokyo.

“We got back yesterday,” Dru said as they all say down in the living room.

She and Jaime had spent a year in Mumbai, which – according to the weekly phone calls Kit and Ty had with them – was a magical city, even though it was infested with Behemoth demons.

Kit looked around. Mark was sitting on Kieran’s lap, his arm wrapped around his neck. Emma was resting her head on Julian’s shoulder, sighing happily (and quiet, for once). Christina was wearing Diego’s family ring on her finger (they had announced their engagement two months ago).

“Everything worked out perfectly, didn’t it?” Kit said.

“It did,” Mark replied happily, passing his fingers through Kieran’s hair and turning it sky blue.

“Well, there’s only one thing we can do now,” Jaime said.

“Yes,” Kit replied solemnly. “Build the fort of happiness, then sit inside and eat cookies.”

And so, they did. They built a giant pillow fort then sat inside, eating the chocolate chips cookies Julian had made this morning to celebrate Kit and Ty’s return.

“Babe, your cookies are so good,” Emma said. “You’re so hot when you make cookies.”

“No!” Christina said. “Either you behave, or you’re banished from the fort.”

Kit nodded in agreement. His head was resting on Ty’s lap, and he closed his eyes as Ty slowly passed his fingers through his hair.

From the sound of it, Emma seemed to have thrown a pillow at Christina.

“Sam just sent me a text,” Ty said.

“Cool,” Kit said, relishing on Ty’s touch. “What did he say?”

“He wanted me to let you know that he’s moving in with his girlfriend.”

“Tell him congrats.” Kit smiled.

“Hey, isn’t it the girl you set him up with?” Dru asked.

“Why yes, my child. And let it be a reminder to you all that I’m the king of matchmaking.”

Dru snorted. “O-kay.”

“That’s true, actually” Jaime said. “He was the one who pushed me to talk to you.”

“And the one who made me give Mark another chance,” Kieran added.

“And the one who invited Christina on a date on my behalf,” Perfect Diego pointed out.

“And the one who pushed me to start dating Sam,” Ty said.

“Let’s not dwell on the less sensible choices I made,” Kit said quickly.

They all stayed in the fort, talking and laughing and swapping stories from their travel year, until everyone fell asleep – Storm choosing to strategically sleep on top of Ty’s chest - expect Kit and Ty.

They lay next to each other, staring at the blankets above them, and Ty took Kit’s hand in his.

“Did you know that the Zygentoma is a type of insect that consumes wood and so it is researched for use in the production of biofuel?” Kit asked.

“I didn’t,” Ty replied affectionally.

“And that was the last entry in the encyclopedia of insects,” Kit said proudly.

Ty chuckled. “I love you so much.”

“Because I know so much about insects?”

“That is the major reason, yes,” Ty said, and Kit could detect his playful tone.

Kit kissed his hand. “This is much better than the last time we lay awake in a fort.”

“So much better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And they all lived happily ever after :)
> 
> Thank you so much guys for the lovely comments, you gave me the motivation to keep writing. Have a great week <3


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